The Student Room Group

25 wanting to go to University but also want children so confused

Hi, I’m 25 and I’m moving from England to Toronto in February 2024 to be with my long distance partner who is from Texas but also moving to Toronto. I’ve been wanting to go to University to study some sort of art course, either Graphic Design or Advertising, not too sure yet. But these courses are for 4 years and by the time I finish uni I’ll be 30/31 which is crazy to me and really stresses me out. I do want children and I just don’t think I’ll be able to make a career with such little time. My partner has a secure career in cyber security so I know he’ll be supportive. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 8 years now and I think having to always work to see him and having very little time to do anything else has paused my life, but also I have severe anxiety and never done well in new places on my own so that’s always stopped me. I just feel super lost aha.
Original post by chlochlo999
Hi, I’m 25 and I’m moving from England to Toronto in February 2024 to be with my long distance partner who is from Texas but also moving to Toronto. I’ve been wanting to go to University to study some sort of art course, either Graphic Design or Advertising, not too sure yet. But these courses are for 4 years and by the time I finish uni I’ll be 30/31 which is crazy to me and really stresses me out. I do want children and I just don’t think I’ll be able to make a career with such little time. My partner has a secure career in cyber security so I know he’ll be supportive. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 8 years now and I think having to always work to see him and having very little time to do anything else has paused my life, but also I have severe anxiety and never done well in new places on my own so that’s always stopped me. I just feel super lost aha.


Hi @chlochlo999

Sorry to hear you're feeling lost, maybe you just need to look at your options in a new light.

Firstly, going to uni at 25 is pretty normal. I have met so many different people of differing ages while at uni, so please don't let that put you off going. Equally, if you're feeling like you have to go to university but are not sure if you really want to, it's okay to not go - there are still lots of options.

Have you considered an open university option where you can study your degree alongside work, or even family if you are thinking about having children in the near future? There are also lots of part time courses at colleges, depending on what you're interested in, but I'm sure there are some great graphic design ones out there.

There's always the option of an apprenticeship? Or possibly internships or work placements that would mean you could work and earn, while still working too?

I think my best advice for you for right now, would be to do some research into some courses you like the look of, or other options mentioned above, and see if anything stands out for you as something you'd like to try. There's also no harm in contacting universities you like or other courses to see their thoughts on you joining the course and their insights on your worries.

It sounds like you have lots of support from your partner, so don't forget to talk with them about how you're feeling too. And remember to choose what feels right for you, and not for anyone else.

I hope this helps!
Emily
Student Ambassador at BCU
Hi there,

Congratulations on moving to Toronto! Such a beautiful place with so many opportunities.

Many universities have a large number of mature students. For example, more than 50% of LSBU students are over the age of 25. Thus there is a great possibility that there will be many students in Toronto who will be in a similar situation as yourself.

It would be beneficial if you reached out to the universities you are interested in and ask about their opportunities and whether they offer part-time studies, open universities or even apprenticeships. Many universities are able to adapt to their students' needs and priorities.

Additionally, perhaps you should consider joining forums for mothers or future mothers on Facebook. Many of them were univeristy students who at the same time were raising their children. They will definitely share valuable information and advice.

Let me know if there's anything else I can help with!

Best of luck,
Melanie
LSBU Rep
Original post by chlochlo999
Hi, I’m 25 and I’m moving from England to Toronto in February 2024 to be with my long distance partner who is from Texas but also moving to Toronto. I’ve been wanting to go to University to study some sort of art course, either Graphic Design or Advertising, not too sure yet. But these courses are for 4 years and by the time I finish uni I’ll be 30/31 which is crazy to me and really stresses me out. I do want children and I just don’t think I’ll be able to make a career with such little time. My partner has a secure career in cyber security so I know he’ll be supportive. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 8 years now and I think having to always work to see him and having very little time to do anything else has paused my life, but also I have severe anxiety and never done well in new places on my own so that’s always stopped me. I just feel super lost aha.

@chlochlo999

What does your partner think? Are you planning to marry and have children? Does he want children? Is that something that he wants soon? How supportive is he to you studying? Have you spoken to him about it? Would you consider studying after you had children?

Ultimately it has to be your decision, but if you are moving to be with your partner then you need to consider whether he sees you settling down together and having a family at this time or whether he sees you getting a job over there and things staying the same.

I think you need to be clear about what you want before you move.

You could study part-time at university. It would take longer but that would give you some flexibility if you wanted to have kids. It would also allow you to work at the same time/ allow you see if you do want to pursue a creative career.

It might not even be that you have to do a degree to get into graphic design or advertising. There might be shorter courses that you could do to learn the basics and opportunities to learn on the job, so it might be worthwhile to see what options are available. Do you have any creative experience?

Take time to think about what's important to you. What would you regret the most?

All the best,

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield

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