The Student Room Group

An ex student reaching out to an old teacher

i left school a year now, i was very close with 1 teacher who was by my side all the time whether it was break lunch or simply going to the bathroom between lesson, we would always manage to find eachother in those times, id spend time after school with them doing homework or catching up with work, we were both upset when i was leaving school i told them i wanted to stay in touch with them, when the day came i gave them a card and told them to stay in touch with me & they also gave me a card telling me to stay in touch, and now im stuck on decision whether i message them or not or is it not appropriate? Would it be better if i wait until i turn 18 to message them? i catch myself always dreaming about them constantly & i feel like i cannot overcome the bond we had. can anyone help
Original post by Anonymous
i left school a year now, i was very close with 1 teacher who was by my side all the time whether it was break lunch or simply going to the bathroom between lesson, we would always manage to find eachother in those times, id spend time after school with them doing homework or catching up with work, we were both upset when i was leaving school i told them i wanted to stay in touch with them, when the day came i gave them a card and told them to stay in touch with me & they also gave me a card telling me to stay in touch, and now im stuck on decision whether i message them or not or is it not appropriate? Would it be better if i wait until i turn 18 to message them? i catch myself always dreaming about them constantly & i feel like i cannot overcome the bond we had. can anyone help

What do you mean by ‘message them’? I think it’s fine if you send an email to their school address, but try to keep it relatively professional and maybe just send an email asking them if it’s appropriate to contact them now. They told you to stay in touch so I don’t think there’s any real problem with that. However, if it’s any kind of personal contact outside of their job (text message, social media, personal email, etc) then I’d hold off on that until you’re 18
Doesn't sound appropriate. This is either an unhealthy attachment or a crush.
Reply 3
Original post by StriderHort
Doesn't sound appropriate. This is either an unhealthy attachment or a crush.

i think it’s appropriate. not long till i’m 18 & now thinking of it i think it’s a massive crush i think ill shoot my shoot when i hit 18
Reply 4
Original post by Teribblestudent
What do you mean by ‘message them’? I think it’s fine if you send an email to their school address, but try to keep it relatively professional and maybe just send an email asking them if it’s appropriate to contact them now. They told you to stay in touch so I don’t think there’s any real problem with that. However, if it’s any kind of personal contact outside of their job (text message, social media, personal email, etc) then I’d hold off on that until you’re 18

appreciate it & by “message them” i meant social media as i don’t have their school email so ill hold off till 18 and then try on social media ?
To be honest, this isn't very appropriate. You could've been groomed. A teacher and student finding each other constantly when at school isn't a good thing, when it's their responsibility to not overstep any boundaries and must keep things professional!
Original post by Anonymous
appreciate it & by “message them” i meant social media as i don’t have their school email so ill hold off till 18 and then try on social media ?

Not if it’s a crush, no. You’re putting their career at risk then. Even once you’re 18 it’s not appropriate to have that kind of relationship with a teacher. It’s ok to contact them and let them know how your life is going or whatever, but it needs to be professional.
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
i think it’s appropriate....


Well it isn't.

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