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Why would a guy be offended that I stalked his social media?

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Reply 20
Original post by Rakas21
Why is it from your friends account rather than yours. And tell the brother your into the guy.


Nah, he looks at me funny. Like in the beginning it was kind of side eyes like he was offended on behalf of his brother but it eventually became more blank stares but he’d look all the same. He often listens in on my convos with others so idk if he’s trying to “keep enemies close” or what. It’s like this is just brought up some weird sh*t I didn’t sign up for.

My friends account so that I could learn more about him as a person without him knowing lol. I’m a shy girl, not that shy that I can’t hold eye contact with a fit guy and be flirty but enough to not want to make any actual first moves.

It wasn’t my friends personal account, it was like a meme page with thousands of followers but her face was on the profile pic and she’d make funny stories about certain situations and he did watch them
Reply 21
Original post by Anonymous #1
Nah, he looks at me funny. Like in the beginning it was kind of side eyes like he was offended on behalf of his brother but it eventually became more blank stares but he’d look all the same. He often listens in on my convos with others so idk if he’s trying to “keep enemies close” or what. It’s like this is just brought up some weird sh*t I didn’t sign up for.

My friends account so that I could learn more about him as a person without him knowing lol. I’m a shy girl, not that shy that I can’t hold eye contact with a fit guy and be flirty but enough to not want to make any actual first moves.

It wasn’t my friends personal account, it was like a meme page with thousands of followers but her face was on the profile pic and she’d make funny stories about certain situations and he did watch them

In one reply you have outlined one of the many reasons modern dating is so tedious.

You have also outlined that your are so shy you won’t even speak to the brother and have therefore rendered the thread mute since you don’t have it in you to take the actions required to achieve your goal.

Modern dating is ruthless, if you don’t act you’ll be outcompeted.
(edited 7 months ago)
Reply 22
Original post by Rakas21
In one reply you have outlined one of the many reasons modern dating is so serious.

You have also outlined that your are so shy you won’t even speak to the brother and have therefore rendered the thread mute since you don’t have it in you to take the actions required to achieve your goal.

Modern dating is ruthless, if you don’t act you’ll be outcompeted.


Are you sure you’re not just trying to prove a point? Instead of like analysing the fact that he just might not be that into me?

It’s a bit more complicated than that but his brother knowing has made it even more complicated for me. I wouldn’t do anything unless he looks approachable in public or if he comes over to me and that’s just up to chance if we ever will see each other again. We’ve messed this whole thing up and we’ve never even spoken. It’s really not worth humiliating myself further
Original post by Anonymous
Lol, I’m the OP. That user you’re responding to is someone else.

The second bit still applies to you. You chose the thread title.
Reply 24
Original post by Admit-One
The second bit still applies to you. You chose the thread title.


Ok… what’s your point?
Reply 25
Original post by Rakas21
Probably because he's getting mixed messages. You've blocked, unblocked, ignored, surveyed.

Many men like myself dislike women who are not straight with them.

If you like the guy, just say hello.


Ignored when I saw him in town? What do you mean surveyed?
Original post by Anonymous
Ok… what’s your point?


That you deemed your behaviour to be stalkery, not normal internet stuff. So it's a bit odd to them position him as being sensitive about it.

"I can't believe he's offended by the behaviour that I myself described as stalking! Get a load of this guy!"
This is the exact reason why modern dating is the way it is.

Please stop playing all these games and just be straightforward with the guy. End of story.
Reply 28
Original post by Anonymous #1
Ignored when I saw him in town? What do you mean surveyed?

Surveyed was just the nicer term for your internet stalking.

'Are you sure you’re not just trying to prove a point? Instead of like analysing the fact that he just might not be that into me?'

No. I was pointing out that you lack the will to do what is nessesary to get him. If he was the type of guy that was intending to approach you he would have done it already. You either have to write him off as a prospect in which case this thread is rather pointless since there's no end goal or you have to have to accept that to achieve your target will require some degree of action from you.
(edited 7 months ago)
Reply 29
Original post by Admit-One
That you deemed your behaviour to be stalkery, not normal internet stuff. So it's a bit odd to them position him as being sensitive about it.

"I can't believe he's offended by the behaviour that I myself described as stalking! Get a load of this guy!"


Internet stalking isn’t inherently abnormal. It’s not something that can be compared to real life stalking unless you’re trying to hack their devices or something, or hack into their account.

I doubt you’re going to agree on this but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re two different things. Most people have done it, can’t say most people have stalked someone in real life because that would be strange.

Also, I never said “I can’t believe etc etc” you’re really trying to make this something it isn’t, I’m trying to understand what other reasons could have contributed to the full context. I’ve known people who couldn’t care less, so I’m going to question if there was anything else that could have caused this from his viewpoint. End of
Reply 30
Original post by Anonymous
This is the exact reason why modern dating is the way it is.

Please stop playing all these games and just be straightforward with the guy. End of story.


I don’t really care how my actions contribute to modern dating as a whole, what I did was immature and I’ve moved on from it but let’s not make this a societal problem, there are plenty of people that are more direct when it comes to dating
Original post by Anonymous
Internet stalking isn’t inherently abnormal. It’s not something that can be compared to real life stalking unless you’re trying to hack their devices or something, or hack into their account.

I doubt you’re going to agree on this but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re two different things. Most people have done it, can’t say most people have stalked someone in real life because that would be strange.

Also, I never said “I can’t believe etc etc” you’re really trying to make this something it isn’t, I’m trying to understand what other reasons could have contributed to the full context. I’ve known people who couldn’t care less, so I’m going to question if there was anything else that could have caused this from his viewpoint. End of


This might blow your mind, but I haven't read the detail of your behaviour in your first post. I have no idea whether it was acceptable or not. I don't really care one way or another.

All I've commented on is your description of it from the thread title and the fact that he was offended.

If your behaviour was perfectly normal, and it was his reaction that was odd, then the thread would be redundant because you could just chalk it off as him being sensitive or over-reacting.
Reply 32
Original post by Rakas21
Surveyed was just the nicer term for your internet stalking.

'Are you sure you’re not just trying to prove a point? Instead of like analysing the fact that he just might not be that into me?'

No. I was pointing out that you lack the will to do what is nessesary to get him. If he was the type of guy that was intending to approach you he would have done it already. You either have to write him off as a prospect in which case this thread is rather pointless since there's no end goal or you have to have to accept that to achieve your target will require some degree of action from you.


Tbh my account is very difficult to find because of issues I’ve had with my dads family and contact from family members that are not a part of my life so I’m almost sure no one would find it if they tried looking. I don’t even have the same name he knows me by on social media, because it’s my birth name he knows and not the name people in my personal life, or even coworkers or past teachers have referred me as.

So if he did want to, he wouldn’t be able to regardless. In real life he has always acknowledged me, I saw him one time after the social media incident but he was with another girl. At the end of the day, we aren’t a part of each others lives, I don’t expect him to go out of his way if things don’t naturally happen like they did the first and second time where we were in the right place at the right time.

Yeah I don’t go after guys with girlfriends. I do lack the will to talk to guys that aren’t single. I don’t know if the girl next to him last time I saw him was his girlfriend but it’s safe to assume it was some other girl he’s seeing.

The issue is more about why something I did in my teens has affected things with his brother because it’s always been awkward ever since, and I guess I didn’t understand why he was so angry with the situation in town unless it meant he was no longer interested as a whole. I don’t know if it was him being defensive or just feeling violated because I never intended for this to happen. Either way, looks like I’ll have to accept it and just hope the best for the future.
Reply 33
Original post by Admit-One
This might blow your mind, but I haven't read the detail of your behaviour in your first post. I have no idea whether it was acceptable or not. I don't really care one way or another.

All I've commented on is your description of it from the thread title and the fact that he was offended.

If your behaviour was perfectly normal, and it was his reaction that was odd, then the thread would be redundant because you could just chalk it off as him being sensitive or over-reacting.


A lot of people do think he’s overreacting. That’s the thing. I’m not going to say if he is or not because I have empathy for what I did and the way he found out which would have naturally caught him off guard but I never let that be the reason to completely explain his behaviour towards it seeing as other guys I’ve known have had the same thing happen and never cared. Maybe not the same way, it’s just been girls I know stalking my cousins socials and seeing him in person and telling me they saw him, and I went and told him and he couldn’t have cared less about what these girls were doing.

The way he found out with me was completely different and more shocking since he found out in real time when I was there to see it. But the fact that he told his brother and his brother seemed to look at me the same way tells me that reaction wasn’t just in the moment of finding out.

What do you mean you haven’t read detail of my behaviour in my post? I literally mentioned everything I did.
Reply 34
Original post by Rakas21
In one reply you have outlined one of the many reasons modern dating is so tedious.

You have also outlined that your are so shy you won’t even speak to the brother and have therefore rendered the thread mute since you don’t have it in you to take the actions required to achieve your goal.

Modern dating is ruthless, if you don’t act you’ll be outcompeted.


Btw the reason why I’m not approaching his brother is not shyness. That’s why I don’t approach him, not his brother.

I’ve already mentioned a few times that his brothers body language is not exactly welcoming. It started off as staring whether it was far away or close, there was a lot of awkward tension and it was written all over his face that he was told about social media.
Before that we barely interacted in anyway, whether verbal or non-verbal.

Even till this day, he still watches when I’m around. I don’t think there’s as much tension but he still looks, and one time conveniently picked a spot to sort out plastic cutlery about a foot or two away from where I was talking to someone to listen in on the convo. It’s more about what’s happening now which is what I’m bothered about, why it’s dragging this many years later and why it’s so serious and offensive to that point. If his brother was even going to talk to me by now he would have tried, we don’t really come from a culture where people do talk about these things with people that they don’t know. It’s just complicated
Reply 35
Original post by Anonymous #1
Btw the reason why I’m not approaching his brother is not shyness. That’s why I don’t approach him, not his brother.

I’ve already mentioned a few times that his brothers body language is not exactly welcoming. It started off as staring whether it was far away or close, there was a lot of awkward tension and it was written all over his face that he was told about social media.
Before that we barely interacted in anyway, whether verbal or non-verbal.

Even till this day, he still watches when I’m around. I don’t think there’s as much tension but he still looks, and one time conveniently picked a spot to sort out plastic cutlery about a foot or two away from where I was talking to someone to listen in on the convo. It’s more about what’s happening now which is what I’m bothered about, why it’s dragging this many years later and why it’s so serious and offensive to that point. If his brother was even going to talk to me by now he would have tried, we don’t really come from a culture where people do talk about these things with people that they don’t know. It’s just complicated

Don't see the complication, speak to the brother. If he's trying to listen to your conversation he might be into you.
Reply 36
Original post by Rakas21
Don't see the complication, speak to the brother. If he's trying to listen to your conversation he might be into you.


The brother?! Lol he’s married, that’s how I know him. He’s married to one of my cousins
Sounds like a big misunderstanding
Reply 38
Original post by nonchalant-
Sounds like a big misunderstanding


What could be the potential misunderstanding? In your view
This thread is going on for long now...they not interested in you, move on!

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