Am I overreacting

My bf and I are long distance. His brother recently got a new gf and they all spend time together so much it started to bother me. Not because I don’t trust my bf, but because it bothers me she gets to spend so much time with him and I don’t.
They go gym together, out to eat sometimes, spend time at the house, and now they went on a road trip together. It was supposed to be just him and his brother but his brother ended up bringing his gf too.

I’ve slightly mentioned it a couple times that it makes me uncomfortable because she gets to spend so much time with him. But I never made it a big deal because idk if I’m just overreacting and I don’t want to seem posesive.

Do you think I’m overreacting?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Forgot to mention that when I told him that it bothers me, he said he understands because it would bother him as well if I was doing that. So why keep doing it if you know how I feel about it and you’d feel the same if I did it to you?

Reply 2

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

So why keep doing it if you know how I feel about it and you’d feel the same if I did it to you?

Because without him becoming a hermit it is inevitable that he will spend more time with others than you given the nature of your relationship. There is always compromise to be had in relationships, but this is not it. On the face of it this is one of the best case scenarios for you from a trust perspective, because there's a very good chance that he would be spending more time with women other than you anyway, but the odds of him getting with his brother's girlfriend are vanishingly small. You should be happy for him that he's clearly got a very strong relationship with his brother, and that the three of them have become such good friends together. The only reason for you to feel uncomfortable is the fact of her being a woman, but as I say, everyone has opportunities to cheat, even when they're not in long distance relationships, and odds wise there is virtually no chance of anything happening here. But even if it is was another woman that he has formed a friendship with, you cannot stop him having and hanging out with female friends, and whilst this relationship is long distance it is extremely likely he will be spending more time with others than you. So yes, on the face of it you are overreacting and this is something you'll need to address both for this relationship and any others. But to put it bluntly, if you can't handle this, I'm really not sure a long distance relationship is for you.