At what age do you first have sex?

Reply 20

18

Original post

by Crazy Jamie

It's a massive stretch to suggest that older teens, or even those in their early 20s can either understand the consequences of unwanted pregnancy or plan for it. And whilst you're right that it is about finding someone who will make it a positive and respectful experience, again sex should get better not just with experience, but with emotional maturity into your mid 20s and older. The issue for teenagers is that they're trying to deal with the pressure both for their first time to be good and with the right person, and not to wait too long. The answer to the latter is broadly to wait until you're ready, but the context of that decision is that chances are your first time having sex is not going to be good, because you will not have a clue what you're doing. And that is absolutely fine. It's not about having amazing sex the first time. It's about being with someone who you are comfortable taking that step with. You're extremely unlikely to only have sex with one person in your life. It'll likely be much more than that. And sometimes the sex will be good, other times it will be bad. Sometimes you may absolutely choose the wrong person to have sex with. There's plenty of scope for regret with sex too, including the first time. But all of that is fine. You learn from all of those experiences until, eventually, you will hopefully find yourself in a relationship with someone that you can have a good, satisfying sex life with long term, through the good and bad and everything in between sex. The first time you have sex is just the first step on that very long road.

There are plenty of people on here (particularly of the incel variety) that would say that being a virgin when 18 or over is a sign of failure. There's even an advice thread pinned on this forum for people who are still virgins in their 20s. However, I think that even without experience, someone who loses their virginity at 26 would be much more competent than someone who is losing it at 16. Emotional resilience comes with age... I'm 19 now, almost 20, and yes, still a virgin. There are things that I did last year that I wouldn't do again, and the year before that, and before that. If I'd lost it when I was with my girlfriend when we were both 16 (not that we would have, she was completely uninterested in the relationship) I'd be regretting not doing X or Y, or doing A and B wrong, or any number of other things that should have gone differently.

Reply 21

Foxehh

21

Original post

by Crazy Jamie

It's a massive stretch to suggest that older teens, or even those in their early 20s can either understand the consequences of unwanted pregnancy or plan for it. And whilst you're right that it is about finding someone who will make it a positive and respectful experience, again sex should get better not just with experience, but with emotional maturity into your mid 20s and older. The issue for teenagers is that they're trying to deal with the pressure both for their first time to be good and with the right person, and not to wait too long. The answer to the latter is broadly to wait until you're ready, but the context of that decision is that chances are your first time having sex is not going to be good, because you will not have a clue what you're doing. And that is absolutely fine. It's not about having amazing sex the first time. It's about being with someone who you are comfortable taking that step with. You're extremely unlikely to only have sex with one person in your life. It'll likely be much more than that. And sometimes the sex will be good, other times it will be bad. Sometimes you may absolutely choose the wrong person to have sex with. There's plenty of scope for regret with sex too, including the first time. But all of that is fine. You learn from all of those experiences until, eventually, you will hopefully find yourself in a relationship with someone that you can have a good, satisfying sex life with long term, through the good and bad and everything in between sex. The first time you have sex is just the first step on that very long road.

Nobody can ever truly handle unwanted pregnancy at any age, its generally a difficult and sad situation, not special to teenagers.. Personally since the legal driving age in my country is 16 I knew I could access resources and handle it if something were to happen.
I would say that the rest of that falls into the part of the emotional maturity. Yes, if you're having sex with people you don't know then there's lots of room for regret. If you're careful with who you're lending your body to and understand that each experience teaches you something, regret doesn't need to exist.

Reply 22

H8Courtship217

10

25 seems to be the panic age button

Reply 23

Doomotron

18

Original post

by H8Courtship217

25 seems to be the panic age button

On the forum it seems to be a lot younger...

Reply 24

atilla2005

5

I'm 19 and I'm still virgin I'm man

Reply 25

Quady

20

Original post

by Anonymous #1

I think about it sometimes because I have periods every month

Every month? 😮

Reply 26

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

22

Original post

by Gazpacho.

When you feel ready for it and when you meet a suitable person.

In other words: when the time for the right moment has come. I agree.

Reply 27

Anonymous #7

I still haven't and I'm almost 21 haha. I agree, when you feel ready, there's no rush. I think I felt ready for it at 19/20.

Reply 28

Raymundo1983

1

Original post

by Anonymous

Like if it's not marriage, what age would you first have sex? 16 (because that's the legal age?)

35 to 40 yrs old

Reply 29

Anonymous #8

Original post

by Raymundo1983

35 to 40 yrs old

Yes

Reply 30

Kiwiwayno1

1

Original post

by Anonymous

Like if it's not marriage, what age would you first have sex? 16 (because that's the legal age?)

So I was fooling round with two older girl friend when I was nine who both seduced me into sexing them both it became a very regular thing for us three.😃

Reply 31

Doomotron

18

Original post

by Kiwiwayno1

So I was fooling round with two older girl friend when I was nine who both seduced me into sexing them both it became a very regular thing for us three.😃

In the extremely unlikely event that's true, it's a very bad thing that happened.

Reply 32

JDINCINERATOR

21

I was 22 and haven't done it since.

Reply 33

Anonymous #9

Original post

by Kiwiwayno1

So I was fooling round with two older girl friend when I was nine who both seduced me into sexing them both it became a very regular thing for us three.😃

At 9??? How old were you when you learned what sex even was? How old were they? Hopefully they had you wear a condom!

Reply 34

Quady

20

Original post

by Anonymous

At 9??? How old were you when you learned what sex even was? How old were they? Hopefully they had you wear a condom!

There are many things in life you learn on the job.

How old were you when you learnt how to walk? Hopefully they had you wear kneepads!

Reply 35

Anonymous #9

Original post

by Quady

There are many things in life you learn on the job.
How old were you when you learnt how to walk? Hopefully they had you wear kneepads!

1.

Almost died alone as an orphan in a crib at 1 & ½, finally did walk at almost 2 barely avoided a lifelong wheelchair (doctors said i would never walk).

Reply 36

Anonymous #9

Original post

by Quady

There are many things in life you learn on the job.
How old were you when you learnt how to walk? Hopefully they had you wear kneepads!

As for other answers my parents didn't even tell me what a period was until I was 14! Didn't learn what ED, hymen, morning wood, arousal, or orgasm was until i moved out.