I am a first year studying BSc Management. I have always been very capable academically, despite being homeschooled for the majority of my secondary education. I achieved the top grade of D*D*D* in my Level 3 Business BTEC. My intelligence has always been the thing that gives me any self worth.
I have never really known what I want to do with my life, so chose business as I knew it had a good salary and opened lots of doors. I previously studied animal care as I love it and the topic of sustainability. But I always knew there weren't many career options with this path and am quite worried about my future prospects.
But now with my chosen degree, everything has come to a massive holt. I hate the large class sizes (350 people on the course), the limited amount of contact hours, and almost all of the lectures I've been to. Only some of it has had any interest to me.
This isn't helped by the fact that I have to commute which takes an hour and a half each way.
I've looked at future modules and only one or two interest me (only three limited electives for the whole degree).
Originally I kept up with the work and reading, but now I'm massively behind as I have no interest and therefore motivation to study. This really isn't like me. (I have autism and suspected dyslexia so I really need to care about something to get that motivation).
My heart is really not in it despite doing excellently with my grades so far. So now I'm considering other options. I could 'stick it out'; start the first year of an environmental course next year; or leave to do an apprenticeship or work.
I was originally interested in degree apprenticeships but sort of ran out of time to do the lengthy applications for these while I was dealing with college exams and UCAS.
It would really be a shame if I had to leave as I have some great friends there, love the campus, and I have some great scholarships and a student outreach ambassador job that I adore.
Now I am just very uncertain about my future, especially as I have to consider the financial implications of staying on for the second term of a course I dislike. I don't come from a very well off family so this is always on my mind. I've looked up how to withdraw every few weeks since starting, despite some good days.
I am also already a year behind people my age due to homeschooling, so falling further behind in life makes me feel ill.
I just feel very lost and anxious, and would love some advice. I'm the first in my family to go to uni so none of them can really relate despite their best efforts. I don't want to end up in a dead-end job on minimum wage for the rest of my life.
P.S. I've spoken with my disability mentor and the support team for my department and they say I probably need something more practical, as the course is unlikely to change. I know some people say they love it after the first term but I can't see that happening for me, though I enjoy seeing my friends and being on campus.
Any advice or personal experiences much appreciated.