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    I'm going to make sure, he gets this letter this week. With recorded delivery and everything. Before you criticise me and this letter, could you please tell me, what else I should write and whats bits I should miss out, thanks!

    Dear Shane,
    Seven years almost, wow, I sometimes just can’t believe it’s been that long since I first saw you. Congratulations to both of you on the pregnancy. I know you will make a great father, you’re a sweet and loving man and you deserve the best. Here’s a little about myself and point of this letter. My name is Saba, I’m 19 years old and a student from Greater Manchester in England/ UK. I’ve been a fan of westlife since the very beginning and if you can remember my family knew Kian’s uncle from Sheffield, I had talked to you on the phone before, and I met you while you shopping were in my hometown. Just like every other fan, I’ve supported you throughout the years, bought all your singles, albums and merchandise and seen you on tour every year.

    Westlife has been a special part of my life, you lot got me through the rough patches of my life, where I had trouble with family, relatives, friends and boyfriends. Listening to you Shane sing those songs, made me forget the worries in life and instead I concentrated on you, just to get out of reality. You were my favourite – you’re a good looking guy, with the perfect smile and you are a very lucky man for having a gorgeous wife and a great future set out for you, I’m proud of you.

    However all this grew to be a serious obsession. I can’t stop thinking about you, honestly every minute of the day I do. At first I didn’t mind and I spoke to a lot of westlife fans and they were in the same position as me. However the older I got, the worse this obsession of you got and the more it has deeply affected my life. That’s the difference between me and most of your other fans; this obsession of you is ruining my life completely. I know it’s wrong to be fantasising over you a married man, but I just can’t help it, no matter how hard I try.

    I started to realise this was taking over my life, when it firstly effected my exams and concentration back in high school at 16 years of age. Revision was impossible and this heavily brought down my grades. Although they were pulled up when I used you for some of my other classes e.g. my Art exam was based on you and in fact all my drawings of you are still up in the art gallery in the school. I want to thank you for giving me this inspiration.

    The biggest thing this is affecting and still today is my relationships. You are constantly in my mind and heart and my boyfriends never were, especially during sex, I’m sorry to say but whenever I got intimate with them, I thought of you which made me come twice as fast and made it a more pleasurable experience. Sorry about that, I deserve a slap.

    The reason I’m telling you all this, is not to blame you, because Shane it’s not your fault at all. I need some advice and care from you, the man himself who this obsession is about. Everyone’s always saying to me, “get over Shane”, but it’s not that easy. You’re like a reward in my life and maybe the only positive thing I have in my life, and I feel like I need to cling on you forever, and make you mine. I cannot sleep unless I’ve fantasised about you, I know it sounds silly and maybe desperate, but I have to imagine us together, otherwise I’m not satisfied.

    When I was 16, I ran away from home, because of the troubles I had at home and I just wanted to escape from the world. The only person I could think of running away to was you. I made it far as Dublin, but was so scared on my own, that I went crying back home. ‘Why do I love you, don’t even want to’, those lyrics explain it all. When I see or hear or think of you, it just hurts so badly in my heart, I feel sick in my stomach, what is this?

    I need some help I know, I’ve been to a counsellor, and she didn’t help me much. What I need to go to is probably to someone professional, like a psychiatrist. But I can’t, cos I can’t afford it, and also I’m studying to be a psychologist, so going to one, could effect my status. I am happy for you and your wife, but I’ve realised the happier you’re getting the more depressed I am getting. Look how ironic this is, when you got married on the 28th Dec 03, it was my granddad’s funeral on the same day. I was laughing at the funeral just thinking of the irony.

    Since I found out about you’se having a baby, I came to a decision that I’m going to do my best and try and get over you once and for all. If I don’t stop it, I will just go insane, never get married and settle down, I won’t be able to love any other man, no one would want to come to me for therapy, in other words my life would be over and I might as well be dead.

    I really don’t know what to do, please tell me what I should do? I did what everyone told me to do, by getting rid of posters and CD’s of you and westlife. But it’s the thoughts and feelings that aren’t disappearing. Whenever I see a couple walking down the street or see a wedding, I immediately associate that with us. I keep saying to myself, he’s married to Gillian and he loves her, but it’s not working. I already hate myself so much for becoming like this, like a stalker almost. If you hated me, I think that would be it, I’d be hurt for eternity.

    Shane I don’t know how you’re reacting to reading this, but its either laughter or pity. What should I do babe? I’m so confused.

    Saba xxx
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    i recon you should forget bout him
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    I don't really know about the content, I find it hard to understand your situation, but I guess you mean "Art" rather than "Arm" exam? Good luck with getting over him! xx
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    (Original post by undercover-ange)
    I don't really know about the content, I find it hard to understand your situation, but I guess you mean "Art" rather than "Arm" exam? Good luck with getting over him! xx
    yeh lol I just changed that, thanks.
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    Oh dear God.

    1)psychaitrists are free you need to go to a doctor and get them to refer you. There is a lot of help available for this, Im not doctor but this sounds like OCD to me, you can get proper therapies like CBT that give you positive ways of changing your thinking. If you are prone to obsessions then as soon as you get over Shane you are likely to find something/one else to obsess over.
    2)What sort of message do you think this sends to Shane? Have you ever heard 'stan' by eminem? I think you should listen to it. I hate eminem but perhaps there is a lesson in those lyrics for you. Saying its not his fault is not enough, any human who recieved that letter would be heart broken...its almost as if you are trying to damage him.
    3)medical confidentiality is there for a reason, its not a criminal record, it couldnt stop you being a psychologist. if anything if might help you empathise. think logically about the positive aspects of everything.
    4) He ain't gonna write back. Anything he says/ or doesnt say will just make things worse my dear.
    5)The during sex thing is way too personal. If you have to send this then cut that out for sure. I know you feel llike you know him...but you don't.


    If writing helps you deal with your feelings then write a diary or to a counsellor, not to him. What do you expect this letter to PRACTICALLY and REALISTICALLY achieve? Put yourself in his position. I hope you get and that you have happier days, honey, i really do.
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    (Original post by BlueAngel)
    I'm going to make sure, he gets this letter this week. With recorded delivery and everything. Before you criticise me and this letter, could you please tell me, what else I should write and whats bits I should miss out, thanks!
    erm the bit which was supposed to say 'art exam' says 'arm exam'

    btw id get rid of the sexual paragraph :eek: even if its true theres no need to state it! he'l be put off and think ure loopy!
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    (Original post by annabellewalter)
    Oh dear God.

    1)psychaitrists are free you need to go to a doctor and get them to refer you. There is a lot of help available for this, Im not doctor but this sounds like OCD to me, you can get proper therapies like CBT that give you positive ways of changing your thinking. If you are prone to obsessions then as soon as you get over Shane you are likely to find something/one else to obsess over.
    2)What sort of message do you think this sends to Shane? Have you ever heard 'stan' by eminem? I think you should listen to it. I hate eminem but perhaps there is a lesson in those lyrics for you. Saying its not his fault is not enough, any human who recieved that letter would be heart broken...its almost as if you are trying to damage him.
    3)medical confidentiality is there for a reason, its not a criminal record, it couldnt stop you being a psychologist. if anything if might help you empathise. think logically about the positive aspects of everything.
    4) He ain't gonna write back. Anything he says/ or doesnt say will just make things worse my dear.
    5)The during sex thing is way too personal. If you have to send this then cut that out for sure. I know you feel llike you know him...but you don't.


    If writing helps you deal with your feelings then write a diary or to a counsellor, not to him. What do you expect this letter to PRACTICALLY and REALISTICALLY achieve? Put yourself in his position. I hope you get and that you have happier days, honey, i really do.
    just wondering why you think its OCD?
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    Irony not iron icy
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    (Original post by annabellewalter)
    Oh dear God.

    1)psychaitrists are free you need to go to a doctor and get them to refer you. There is a lot of help available for this, Im not doctor but this sounds like OCD to me, you can get proper therapies like CBT that give you positive ways of changing your thinking. If you are prone to obsessions then as soon as you get over Shane you are likely to find something/one else to obsess over.
    2)What sort of message do you think this sends to Shane? Have you ever heard 'stan' by eminem? I think you should listen to it. I hate eminem but perhaps there is a lesson in those lyrics for you. Saying its not his fault is not enough, any human who recieved that letter would be heart broken...its almost as if you are trying to damage him.
    3)medical confidentiality is there for a reason, its not a criminal record, it couldnt stop you being a psychologist. if anything if might help you empathise. think logically about the positive aspects of everything.
    4) He ain't gonna write back. Anything he says/ or doesnt say will just make things worse my dear.
    5)The during sex thing is way too personal. If you have to send this then cut that out for sure. I know you feel llike you know him...but you don't.


    If writing helps you deal with your feelings then write a diary or to a counsellor, not to him. What do you expect this letter to PRACTICALLY and REALISTICALLY achieve? Put yourself in his position. I hope you get and that you have happier days, honey, i really do.
    its not obsessive complulsive disorder! thats a totally different thing
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    (Original post by Mad Vlad)
    Irony not iron icy
    stupid spell checker.
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    Friend in extremely similar position
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    (Original post by annabellewalter)
    Friend in extremely similar position
    what is she doing about it? If you dont mind me asking.
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    Saba

    you seem like a lovely person and you seem to care about this shane guy a lot. I know everyone has told you to forget him and its probably best but I can understand that you can't. Its good you got rid of all the stuff you associate with him, thats a step in the right direction. Now think about when you think about him most. what are you doing? Try to get more active in areas of your life such as sport. Go out and meet new people and just have fun being young and single. If you really think talking to someone may help then don't worry, it wont affect your degree or any job you want after it. I wouldn't really send the letter as it is going to make things worse, not better. The best he could do would be to write and say thanks for caring which won't solve anything for you.
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    I hope you get a reply from Shane and I hope you can get over him and be happy again. The situation your in must be difficult and maybe a reply can give you closier (sp??) and here's a *hug*
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    saturn probably know more than me, so ask her. but i have a friend and OCD is among many other probs she has, unfortunately shes on anti depressants tho. And has a lot of therapy
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    tell me, what started this obbsession? i mean what thoughts etc caused it?
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    (Original post by sublime_envy)
    The best he could do would be to write and say thanks for caring which won't solve anything for you.
    You're right, as It probably wouldnt solve anything, actually it would make it worse I think if he said he cared. But I would be so happy if he did. He might even organise to meet me gaian, afterall he's coming to my hometown in a fortnight.


    Thanks everyone for the lovely replies, I guess those who are always critising me are away or asleep.
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    (Original post by lessthanthree)
    irony - not ironicy.

    Seriously though..if YOU got a letter like this, you'd be freaked out beyond god knows what. think hard before you put this on his shoulders. it's VERY weird.

    I don't think you should send this, I just..mrah.
    mmmm to be honest it sounds like something that might have him reaching for the restraining order... Like other people have said, there is no way he can reply, so sending it seems a bit futile.
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    (Original post by horrorboy)
    tell me, what started this obbsession? i mean what thoughts etc caused it?
    I just thought that we could be together, I mean I thought I had a chance, if you read one of my other threads, there I explained the whole relationship with Shanes band mate Kian. I met Shane, and he was sooo nice to me, no person has ever been so caring and sweet to me before.
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    (Original post by BlueAngel)
    You're right, as It probably wouldnt solve anything, actually it would make it worse I think if he said he cared. But I would be so happy if he did. He might even organise to meet me gaian, afterall he's coming to my hometown in a fortnight.


    Thanks everyone for the lovely replies, I guess those who are always critising me are away or asleep.
    Its just good to see that you want to take positive action about it *hug* I and a number of people here and in the "real" world will be willing to help you
 
 
 
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