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GCSEs from someone who’s not getting 9s..

hi, I’m laura, 15, half French, half English and from Kent. I’m in year 11 and finished my mocks about 2 months ago. My school did all papers over 2 weeks, starting January 2nd. So when you look at my grades please do bear in mind i was fighting a chest infection from the winter.
I live really close to my current secondary school (state provided) which has a very aggressive and academic school competing right next to it (all girls grammar). This makes for a lot of competition and rivalry, but beside that only my school is doing sixth from this year (2024) and their school is only doing sixth form for the town over (so I’d have to travel). Besides all of this I would love to go to the other school provided that i would have a nice social group and good teachers… And don’t get me wrong i do love my school ( i actually do) but it’s just the social groups that put me off.

I really aspire to be a clinical psychologist when I’m older and perhaps living in the south of France.. But first my journey starts at GCSEs. Just for context, I’m doing foundation maths, foundation combined science, French, geography, dt and photography.. School has honestly never been my strong point other than French and with that i do feel a bit embarrassed so pls be nice to me.

In year 10, i got a 6 in English, 3-4 in science and 4- in maths.
However in year 11, i got 3s in English, 4-4 in science ( i got 2 5s tho :smile:) and a 4+ in maths. I don’t know what happened to me. I actually enjoy English but these results have really taken a toll on me and my mental health. Although this isn’t a place for you to hear that, i just want to make it clear that this wasn’t a lack of carlelessness, it was honestly a lack of revision. Prior to my mocks, my chemistry teacher (head of science) told me that he expected no lower than 4s from me in science (I achieved) and therefore I spent the majority of my winter half term doing biology and chemistry which i got 5s in (the highest grade I can achieve). Maths, I didn’t do as much revision as I would but I was so happy with my grades as I got 50/70 on both paper.
But got English however, I have had so many nights just staying up and worrying about it. I have no idea what happened. I got a 4 in acc and Macbeth though but overall 3s.

I had parents evening recently and my parents have decided to get me a tutor as I need these grades for sixth form:
Psychology - grade 6 English lang, 5 maths, 5-5 science and 5 in essay based subject
Sociology- 5 in English lang, 5 in essay based subject
French - 7 in French

So my tutoring starts this Monday, with the hopes that we’ll get me back to where I began. Everyone I go to my English class I feel as if my English teacher is ashamed of me and that she doesn’t take pride in marking my work anymore. I have English so many times on my revision timetable it’s unbelievable. The only time for intervention at my school for English is 7:30am -8am on a Tuesday.I would 100% go but I’m so busy on a school week that I really can’t afford to burn my self out so quickly.

On Mondays, I do chemistry intervention 3:30-4:30, on Tuesday, I play hockey form 5:30-7:30pm, On Wednesday, I play football from 6:50-8pm and then on Thursdays I do the same chemistry intervention again. My life is ******* crazy. And to add to this I now have my new type who starts on Monday from 6:30 -7:30. I also have a dog who relies on me walking it, my own struggles with OCD and my bedroom: bathroom.

I love my life, like really I do but sometimes I just wish schooling could come as easily to me as it does others. For example, my dad’s partner (of 6years) has 2 daughters same age as my sister and I. The one who’s my age goes to the competitive school next to mine. She’s super bright but, very autistic and quite athletic. I know she looks up to me in many ways such as my ability to just talk to people as she struggles with that but I wish she knew how much I admire her studious brain. I’m jealous. Like really jealous. But I can’t sit here and be jealous of her when I’m fully aware of her personal struggles that she goes through. I could never imagine something so bloody horrific. She doesn’t live with me but sometimes comes over and I really just wish we could share knowledge.

Ugh sounds stupid and probably is but I can’t just ignore it. I would say I have quite a high work drive, I’m very passionate with things I care for and I think that’s where I run into a problem. For maths and science (although I’m at a lower level) I really enjoy it, there will only ever be one answer for it all. But English, geography, Re .. I just can’t find my way around it. FYI, I got 3 in geography (idk how), and a 5 in Re (from a 2). I really do struggle to find motivation in subjects I don’t have passion for, which is why I think levels will be so different for me because with the subjects I’d like to take, I’ve cared for for so long. Out of curiosity, I went to look at a psychology aqa past paper the other night to see how much of it really is essay based and I really felt inspired by the questions although I didn’t obviously know the answers.

I think for me, I’m just going to try and ride my GCSEs out like I do with most things and try my hardest. I’m confident in the grades I need (obviously not English) and I am just going to keep trying until it works.

Maybe I’ll reply to this after my GCSEs??
Wishing u all the best💪💪
Original post by ebyrne2036
Wishing u all the best💪💪

thank you 🙏

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