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hmmm im crap at poetry....but ill try...later tho
Beauties thorn, a rose, a figure
To often used and spoke with vigor,
by cliche'd so called masters start
to break traditions, break a heart
but not in terms of sunshine story
or illusion in a misplaced glory
In ways of what we see and hear
but words not meant to tell or fear
but tell a tale the tears belong
to those who've spend their whole lives wrong
and focused on literal speach
it matters of the life they preach
across the boundaries we created
a community of difference hated
a hero with a standing call
of hope, to wish, to see it fall
but true heros are not known as so
their life they live, from life they go
but leave behind which unknown where
the hope we feel and do not share


Its not v good, but its different at least

(so wiwarin doesn't have to change the link, this is the one i wanted people to judge me on)
Reply 3
Excellent, one poem in, that should be pretty easy to judge.
Ok this is a poem which I wrote a long time ago and no1 except my boyfriend has read it - I guess I am sometimes embarrassed by my writing and prefer to keep it to myself - but I guess I'll let it out in the open now and let's see what you guys think...Please don't comment if you don't like it because I'm really sensitive when it come's to my writing...Thanx guys :wink:

here goes...

A sad and twisted thought
Came upon my mind
Something so sadistic
That should be left behind

I thought about those
Who have died so soon
And what I was doing
When they met their doom

And I thought about myself
About my blood and my tears
Living with nothing but pain
And my tormented fears

And I noticed something
That just didn't seem right
Something to make you cry
And shiver in the night

Every time you smile
Another child cries
Every time you're happy
Another person dies

When every thing's going right
And it's the best day of your life
Someone out there has had enough
And is picking up that knife

Every time you have someone
Another person is alone
Every time you feel loved
Another child is on their own

When your parents are hugging you
And showering you with kisses
Some child out there is being beaten
By parents who are making death wishes

Every time you see the light
Another child only sees the dark
Every time you are healthy
Another person is cutting a fresh mark

So remember this next time
You're have a good day
Another someone out there
Is dieing in some way
Reply 5
The morning rain is sweeping down, bringing around
All of the sleepers from their dreams of things undone
You walk across from me and sit down, stirring around
The thoughts of things that you could never say out loud

I tried in vain so hard to repair, hoping you'd care
Hope dissipated leaving nothing but despair
You tried in vain so hard to be fair, trying to share
How could I overlook a precious love so rare

Your thoughts reflect in a greeting gone stale
Feelings project in the gray you exhale
You haunt my mind like a memory betrayed
And soon with the sun like the mist you will fade

The spring will come and flowers will bloom, exit the gloom
But still a shroud will always linger in your room
Visions replay the night that you left, hollow and deaf
Did you forgive me under the cover of your breath?
Reply 6
That was truely beautiful yet very haunting at the same time. I commend thee Ladyshort4U.
wiwarin_mir
That was truely beautiful yet very haunting at the same time. I commend thee Ladyshort4U.


Thank you!
wow, these poems are so good.
Reply 9
I have a lot more although I haven't written since I was 15. That particular poem I wrote when I was 14.
Reply 10
Good lord, why is everyone so miserable? Can't you write a poem about Jimbo The Happy Cod or something?
Reply 11
Trousers
Good lord, why is everyone so miserable? Can't you write a poem about Jimbo The Happy Cod or something?

Well make a peom about jimbo the happy cod and enter it then.
As i can't be bothered to find anything else better, i may as well copy this one from the articles section...


The words they spread like fire, represent the sentence
A sentence of a lifetime without love it gives to me
Its me who has to build and express my false repentence
Because repentence isn't given to those who cannot see
I can't see extending lifetimes of missed chances i created
In creation loss of hope and a spirit all but gone
Gone from aching hearts, spent emotion still negated
Which negated love spend cruelty, with no place that i belong

Edit: Not the one i wanted to be judged on
Tears are something deeper than rain.
They're sometimes used to hide a pain.
A high, a low, who knows what's next?
That's why tears erupt from the chest.
Maybe your life is clustered with drama.
Your tears are falling for the end of the saga.
Or maybe you tears are for up above,
Because you keep falling in and out of love.
Maybe for the pleasure and shear delight,
Of running through Autumn's trees the day after tonight.
A sentimental message written in the sand.
The sweet smell of wish, isn't it grand.
Tears really are something deeper than rain.
But they are not always used to hide the pain.
Yesterday I cried eight tiny ivory teardrops, how could I forget.
But this time I was crying over innocent regret.
how about a musing? I am much better at those :smile:
Reply 15
sublime_envy
how about a musing? I am much better at those :smile:

you can, but only one poem can be entered, so you would have to choose which one you were going to put forward.
Only one I could find at the mo... wrote it about 6 months ago...

Dry your eyes
The world hasn't ended yet
It's not time
For you to leave it behind
It's so hard
To pretend you're alright
But fake it
They can't tell anyway

Maybe you'll try
And convince them that you're fine
Maybe they'll see
That all of your smiles are lies
But smile a lie
And lie again just one more time
Maybe one day
Happiness won't be a lie
wiwarin_mir
you can, but only one poem can be entered, so you would have to choose which one you were going to put forward.
whoops I just reread your post :smile:
My first poem released on TSR

How can i compare the uncomparable
Who fixed a heart so unrepairable
Made me believe in a new tomorrow.
An angel that dispels my sorrow.
For true description no words exist,
they pale, and fade. I cant resist
the spell you cast upon my heart.
To feel your presence, fear departs,
Because i ask "so what is fear?"
The one reply "when your not here",
But fear is why i cannot say
To you just that i feel this way.
My guardian angel, my shining light,
you give me strength, the will to fight,
to stand, and not to fear the fall.
You own my heart, you are my all.
I can't decide which poem to submit :frown:

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