Help change the way I percieve this...

Firstly, I apologise to those who have read about this in my other thread(s) about this problem, but this will be the last thread I make on it.

I always had a relatively happy life, up until secondary school, where I started to get bullied.
This came to a head in Year 9, when out of nowhere the bully came up to me and punched me hard in the back of the neck.
Now I have seen a chiropractor (unsuccesfully) and am now going to another specialist who I have been referred to, who hopefully can relieve the problem, although I have been told I am probably going to have to keep the clicking/cracking in my neck.

It is this clicking/cracking which I have got ever since I got punched.
You could say that I may have got a cracking neck anyway, but I'll never know.

Anyway, this may interest the psychology students amongst you, I hope you can help (Yes I know this is no substitute for professional help, but as I am on a long waiting list, I would appreciate help from you TSR!)...

Basically, every time my neck clicks, I get upset, thinking it shouldn't be happening, because I didn't deserve to get punched. This is annoying but I can live with it.
It is when I get an "extreme" case that I get upset.
Let me give you a real life example that happened recently:
Suppose I had to be on the phone for half an hour to my doctor about my neck (which I believe wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the punch), then I missed the chance to talk to someone. (I heard them outside while I was on the phone, but when I had finished they were gone).

I then worried about this when I heard them the next day outside my room. By this I mean I hesitated and thought whether I should just burst out and talk to them or not, as we haven't really spoken before.
It would undoubtedly have helped my confidence if we had spoken the night before, but of course I was on the phone because of my neck.

I now think of many things that "would have" happened had we spoken, but that haven't happened.

You must be thinking: just talk to them now. Well thats the problem: I don't think this is "the right time" and am worried that if anything goes wrong in the conversation its getting too late to call friends for support on this.

It is this chain of thought: If I never got punched, I wouldn't have been on the phone then, we would have chatted yesterday, we could then have chatted more today, we would be on our way to becoming great friends.

that annoys me, because that is not true.
I could try and make friends today, but if it doesn't work I will be so upset.
Its like being normally upset at someone rejecting you I guess, but with the added damage of it being because of an old bully.

I welcome you guys to challenge my thoughts, and give me good advice.

Reply 1

KayleeLand

woah thats way too long.

my neck clicks too.

can't you sue?

Reply 2

Resok

Did anyone actually have the time to read all of that?

Reply 3

darkraver

Wow, I swear to god there was a very similar thread to this lke 2 months ago....

You the same person asking again?

EDIT: Re-read post, sorry.

Reply 4

Draculara

I think you are just thinking into this way too much. Stuff happens all the time in our lives and I know it must have upset you, but don't let yourself think its the reason for stuff like that, you're just gunna drive yourself mad.

Seriously, everything that happens in life influences everything else in our life, don't focus on this just because it was a bad experience. if anything its even more reason to forget it.

Reply 5

Mr Snips

You didn't speak to the person because you were on the phone. You could have equally been occupied with something else, or indeed, they could have not chosen to walk past your door. If you're upset about something, then it will seem that the things that go wrong are being caused by that something

can someone add me on msn and help me about this please, i think msn will be better than here.

mod edit: email address removed. PM for info :smile:

Reply 8

rich.mike

I assume you have just started University?

Reply 9

stardustfairy

dont give your msn! there could be 50 year old wrinkly men on here! (not that all 50 year olds are wrinkly!) just accept life as it is: you cant change it, so why dwell on it? ur clicking neck may have prevented some oppertunities, but it may also bring new ones...think: you at the hospital BECAUSE of ou neck, and you meet a guy there who, i dunno, has broken his toe. you get chatting a vola! you may have met your soulmate. all because of your neck (and the guys toe, but thats beside the point.)

Reply 10

gapyear111

rich.mike

I assume you have just started University?

yeah, in london

Reply 11

gapyear111

erm, any more help, i'm very suicidal right now

Reply 12

noisesandkisses

i believe that everything happens for a reason. However you cant help the fact you got bullied, i got bullied (like im sure most people have) who have also resulted into having injurys etc

but i dont think that the person outside and the whole phone call thing happend for a reason, i just think it was unlucky timing. i dont think this is connected to your injury either.

people have a lot of faults, flaws, imperfections but that doesnt mean that whatever they have will change future things. there just insidents that wont have an effect on anything.