What to do?

What to do when your mum and sister don’t like your boyfriend????
He’s sweet , loving and caring to me but just some actions that they don’t like or comments he’s said to me. But they may be overreacting.

Why do i feel awful about it? Does it matter that they don’t like him??

Reply 1

Mohammed_2000

15

Original post by Anonymous #1

What to do when your mum and sister don’t like your boyfriend????
He’s sweet , loving and caring to me but just some actions that they don’t like or comments he’s said to me. But they may be overreacting.
Why do i feel awful about it? Does it matter that they don’t like him??

Like him in what sense? Just the way he comes across to them or something where your both thinking about the long term and acceptance into your family.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Mohammed_2000

Like him in what sense? Just the way he comes across to them or something where your both thinking about the long term and acceptance into your family.

Just because I tell them about the negative things that happens in the relationship and they just seem to dislike him. I get it but I just feel like **** . I’d like them to like him and it’s my fault for sharing things but we are open with each other and I like to see their point of view if im upset or smth

Reply 3

tashkent46

20

Some advice for you. Talking about your relationships to your friends and family is good, especially because they may help you out in a situation that becomes abusive. But you have to be careful not to poison the well. If all they hear about him is what a terrible person is, well why would you expect them to think differently?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by tashkent46

Some advice for you. Talking about your relationships to your friends and family is good, especially because they may help you out in a situation that becomes abusive. But you have to be careful not to poison the well. If all they hear about him is what a terrible person is, well why would you expect them to think differently?

They know about the good as well dw and it’s not abusive or anything like that. They’re just very opinionated too which I get and they care but maybe I should stop talking about the negatives do you think so then they like him more?

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous #1

What to do when your mum and sister don’t like your boyfriend????
He’s sweet , loving and caring to me but just some actions that they don’t like or comments he’s said to me. But they may be overreacting.
Why do i feel awful about it? Does it matter that they don’t like him??

I don’t want to be cynical but I’ve been in this situation before and quite honestly I wish I’d listened to those around me, it would have saved me a lot of unnecessary trauma. Obviously I don’t know the whole story but maybe you should hear their concerns out and remember that they only want to protect you.

Reply 6

tashkent46

20

Original post by Anonymous #1

They know about the good as well dw and it’s not abusive or anything like that. They’re just very opinionated too which I get and they care but maybe I should stop talking about the negatives do you think so then they like him more?

If he does then yeah but honestly you might go your whole life with your family not approving of your partners for whatever reason, some people don't like people for all sorts of reasons or for no reason at all, what I'm saying is the most important thing is that YOU like him, and that your family at least don't make it outright hostile to see him.

Reply 7

Mohammed_2000

15

Original post by Anonymous #1

Just because I tell them about the negative things that happens in the relationship and they just seem to dislike him. I get it but I just feel like **** . I’d like them to like him and it’s my fault for sharing things but we are open with each other and I like to see their point of view if im upset or smth

I think it’s unfair for them to dislike based on what they perceive each time they are told things about him I would personally advise you not to share your private life with your family no offence he’s your boyfriend and not there’s a private life between you both if you see flaws within your boyfriend be courageous and brave enough to open up to him and remember that no relationship between 2 individuals is ever going to be perfect. To change their view and perception of him why don’t you influentially show the positive side of him what he brings to you, how he makes you happy for them to have a change of heart and mind.

Reply 8

cherrycosmos

17

Original post by Anonymous #1

What to do when your mum and sister don’t like your boyfriend????
He’s sweet , loving and caring to me but just some actions that they don’t like or comments he’s said to me. But they may be overreacting.
Why do i feel awful about it? Does it matter that they don’t like him??

It depends on how much you talk about him. Do you tell them stuff that are mainly positive? Mainly negative? or both? Having a third party can be useful when taking a look at your relationship as they're not blinded by love. I would listen to what they have to say. Seeing as you share and tell them stuff, it shows that your relationship with your family is close and therefore they care about you. Family members are going to be protective of you and they can be quite opinionated especially when it comes to people who may join the family or have some sort effect on you. You just feel awful because you want approval and make both sides happy which is totally normal.
Compare what they say to what your friends say and see if there are any differences. If there is then it shows that they arent overreacting.
What sort of stuff does ur bf say that they dont liike?

Reply 9

THR3EC

4

Original post by Anonymous #1

What to do when your mum and sister don’t like your boyfriend????
He’s sweet , loving and caring to me but just some actions that they don’t like or comments he’s said to me. But they may be overreacting.
Why do i feel awful about it? Does it matter that they don’t like him??

I was in a similar situation. At the end of the breakup, my mum was like "he's a good boy, but it's his family." Which led her to think that I shouldn't have been with him and that I could find someone better in the future. Long story short about the family situation, his sister kinda tattled to their mum that he's in a relationship, mind you he never told his parents about me when we started dating. This then led to family arguments on his side. Also about the "but it's his family." my parents are on these words because they assume their family looks down on us and that his sister was the one looking down on me started all that. So stay with him because you love him. That's what I did until he brought up breaking up. Also ask your mum and sister what they think about him and why because there's some truth or something further that they can observe. Since all we could have on are pink spec love lenses which can make us blind to possibly something obvious.

Reply 10

sleepywhale34

3

Original post by Anonymous #1

What to do when your mum and sister don’t like your boyfriend????
He’s sweet , loving and caring to me but just some actions that they don’t like or comments he’s said to me. But they may be overreacting.
Why do i feel awful about it? Does it matter that they don’t like him??

It depends on the relationship you have with your parents, and whether your boyfriend is worth the awkwardness with your parents 🫤

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