How to say sorry to an old friend?

I have a few friends (separate from each other) that I’ve fallen out with over the years due to minor arguments which I’ve then stupidly lashed out on disproportionately

I would say a hurtful thing in an argument and just block them and completely wipe them out of my life which ultimately would’ve hurt them.

It’s a shame cos the good times outweigh the bad things but some of the insults I’ve used in an argument would be unforgivable. To give an example I called my best friend fat and blocked her. It doesn’t justify it but I only said rude things when we had a fall out but I would take it ultra personally and lash out.

It’s just embarrassing for me. I also told my other friend that we all thought she was a closet lesbian. (Not that being a lesbian is a bad thing AT all) I said it as insult because she never had a boyfriend which is what’s highly immature because I knew the fact she was insecure about not having a boyfriend

Ultimately some of the stuff I’ve said- I would probably never forgive if it were ever said to me so how on earth could I forgive them?

I’ve changed as a person but honestly I wish I just learnt to bite my tongue and be calmer. Their attitude would be they’re better off without me being in their life so how can I even apologise without it sounding utterly insulting to them?

Reply 1

Autumn223

Original post by Anonymous #1

I have a few friends (separate from each other) that I’ve fallen out with over the years due to minor arguments which I’ve then stupidly lashed out on disproportionately
I would say a hurtful thing in an argument and just block them and completely wipe them out of my life which ultimately would’ve hurt them.
It’s a shame cos the good times outweigh the bad things but some of the insults I’ve used in an argument would be unforgivable. To give an example I called my best friend fat and blocked her. It doesn’t justify it but I only said rude things when we had a fall out but I would take it ultra personally and lash out.
It’s just embarrassing for me. I also told my other friend that we all thought she was a closet lesbian. (Not that being a lesbian is a bad thing AT all) I said it as insult because she never had a boyfriend which is what’s highly immature because I knew the fact she was insecure about not having a boyfriend
Ultimately some of the stuff I’ve said- I would probably never forgive if it were ever said to me so how on earth could I forgive them?
I’ve changed as a person but honestly I wish I just learnt to bite my tongue and be calmer. Their attitude would be they’re better off without me being in their life so how can I even apologise without it sounding utterly insulting to them?

I think if you genuinely care about them you don’t contact them. They have most likely moved on from the hurt you caused them, and trying to reach out now may just open up those wounds. Im glad to hear you have changed, but you can’t undo the damage you caused them.