The Student Room Group

I want help but don’t think I can stand to ask for it

As the title says, I’ve been dealing with my mental health for a while now. Anxiety/panic attacks/intense irrational fears, disordered eating and I guess what most people would call substance abuse. I don’t want to feel like **** constantly but I’m too proud to ask for help I guess and I still feel like asking for help would be humiliating.

I’m an adult (20) but I still live with my parents when I’m not at uni and my family are very much just “get a grip and get on with it” type people and they have a dark/sarcastic sense of humour so they would definitely make jokes/say I don’t need it if they knew I was thinking of seeking mental health support. They are well meaning and I love them but I wouldn’t want to tell them about my mental health struggles.

I do want help to feel better but I don’t know if I can get to the point of seeking it out and even if I did get to that point, I know I wouldn’t engage with it enough for it to even be worthwhile as I’m a very introverted person and don’t like to be very open about the way I’m feeling.
Reply 1
i would recommend
applying to get a therapist
maybe apply to a job
then get ur own house
maybe even marry if u want
fate is a wonderful thing
and u will do good in life and become better
good luck
Reply 2
Original post by JF ZAK
i would recommend
applying to get a therapist
maybe apply to a job
then get ur own house
maybe even marry if u want
fate is a wonderful thing
and u will do good in life and become better
good luck

I’m a full time student and I have a job. I have a my own house which I live in while I’m at uni (rented/with housemates obviously because no one from a working class family buys a house at 20 in this economy) and getting married at 20 (or anytime soon) and tethering myself to someone for support also isn’t something that’s on the cards
Reply 3
Your family don't need to know about your issues and that you are seeking help.
Health professionals don't have the time to judge you - they are literally there to do a job and you are one 20-30+ patients they will have contact with that day.
It sounds like the only person who is missing out and suffering as a result of you not seeking help is you.
Reply 4
Original post by black tea
Your family don't need to know about your issues and that you are seeking help.
Health professionals don't give a **** enough and don't have the time to judge you - they are literally there to do a job and you are one 20-30+ patients they will have contact with that day.
Literally the only personal who is missing out and suffering as a result of you not seeking help is you.

I’m sure they can judge me for the time I’m sat in front of them, especially if I’m seen as not having serious enough problems to warrant seeking help for them. I’ve been sent away from my doctor for time wasting before.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I’m sure they can judge me for the time I’m sat in front of them, especially if I’m seen as not having serious enough problems to warrant seeking help for them. I’ve been sent away from my doctor for time wasting before.

They will forget what you look like and what you were in with like 5 minutes after you leave, believe me.

Your problems warrant seeking attention. If one person dismisses you, try again with someone else. It can sometimes be hit and miss when it comes to mental health stuff but some GPs are excellent and some have a special interest in mental health so it might be worth asking/checking out the practice website so see if there is someone like that in the surgery. Some surgeries also have a mental health nurse you can book in with as opposed to a doctor so that another option worth looking into.
Reply 6
Original post by black tea
They will forget what you look like and what you were in with like 5 minutes after you leave, believe me.
Your problems warrant seeking attention. If one person dismisses you, try again with someone else. It can sometimes be hit and miss when it comes to mental health stuff but some GPs are excellent and some have a special interest in mental health so it might be worth asking/checking out the practice website so see if there is someone like that in the surgery. Some surgeries also have a mental health nurse you can book in with as opposed to a doctor so that another option worth looking into.

I find it difficult to open up and talk about things and I have genuinely tried a lot of the self help tips/info you can find online so I’d probably get dismissed as a time waster when it seemed like I wasn’t engaging with things they were suggesting
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
I find it difficult to open up and talk about things and I have genuinely tried a lot of the self help tips/info you can find online so I’d probably get dismissed as a time waster when it seemed like I wasn’t engaging with things they were suggesting

Ok
Original post by Anonymous
I find it difficult to open up and talk about things and I have genuinely tried a lot of the self help tips/info you can find online so I’d probably get dismissed as a time waster when it seemed like I wasn’t engaging with things they were suggesting

If you didn't engage with them then of course you would be wasting your respective time. But anxiety/panic attacks, intense irrational fears, disordered eating and substance abuse are all serious issues by themselves so a MH professional is not going to be dismissive of those.

When I was referred to CAMHS, the sessions were nothing like traditional counselling. I didn't have to "open up" or bare my soul to them or anything like that. There were just regular questionnaires and a lot of pratical advice. Certainly I could have looked any of it up myself, but having someone to report back to made me more accountable to give it a go and see what impact it actually had.
Reply 9
Original post by Admit-One
If you didn't engage with them then of course you would be wasting your respective time. But anxiety/panic attacks, intense irrational fears, disordered eating and substance abuse are all serious issues by themselves so a MH professional is not going to be dismissive of those.
When I was referred to CAMHS, the sessions were nothing like traditional counselling. I didn't have to "open up" or bare my soul to them or anything like that. There were just regular questionnaires and a lot of pratical advice. Certainly I could have looked any of it up myself, but having someone to report back to made me more accountable to give it a go and see what impact it actually had.

This is more of just a vent post than asking for actual advice. Continuing with self help until/if I’m ready to seek professional support is obviously the best bet
Original post by Anonymous
This is more of just a vent post than asking for actual advice. Continuing with self help until/if I’m ready to seek professional support is obviously the best bet


Fair play, it's always there as an option if things don't improve.

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