Virginity

How bad does first time sex for girls actually hurt? I see Soo many different things saying not at all or only a little, but currently super tampons are almost painful to insert, so compared to the size of a penis which is much bigger, that seems like it would hurt like hell.

Hey there! I won't lie, when I lost my virginity it was incredibly painful, but that was a combo of being nervous, not relaxing, and (what I later found out) the condition vaginismus (which is where you cannot physically insert anything without incredible amount of pain as the muscles won't relax). My advice to you would be make sure you're doing it with the right person who makes you feel safe and comfortable, don't force and rush yourself as this might make you tighten up, and use plenty and plenty of lube! Also make sure you are warmed up enough before attempting penetration 🙂

It's not muscle spasm of tightening up, it's just I'm not that big in the first place or probably regular size down there either.

Then it probably just needs stretching out! The vagina is a muscle, and like all muscles it needs training. During sex, it stretches to accommodate the penis, and retracts when there's nothing in. Being turned on makes the vagina's enterance larger and using lube will help let it go in easier. If you want to try and "practice" and stretch out the muscle beforehand, you can always use dialators. They're great for helping you to learn to relax with something inside you, and go up to the size of an average penis.

what is the average size? I have a hard time even getting a tampon in mine but would like to try sex at some point but have been scared it will hurt.