Bf posting girl he has history with

Me and my bf have been going out for a few weeks, we've said I love you, etc. Spend a lot of time together, met his family. However, a month ago I was told by about 3 people he cheated on his ex with this other popular girl from a different school. After following up with him, he said they were all drunk, she kept grabbing his hand, he said he had a girlfriend but she didn't leave him alone and he didn't move away. We kind of just brushed it aside because we both agreed trust is important, but today he posted her for her birthday with two separate stories, one of which she was in just a clearly visible bra and a vest giving him the middle finger, a snap he'd saved in chat then in camera roll, which I personally think is weird. He knows I was worried about her, and also one more red flag is he's been more dry more recently. At the beginning of our relationship, he was very clingy, twenty texts a day, lots of random snaps etc. Nowadays, tbh I don't use my phone much, but he does and he texts me only a few times, far less kisses on his texts, and one dry snap a day. Even when I do have my phone, his snapscore jumps up by like 400 each time and he doesn't reply to me. I don't know if I should be worried, especially as we just had our first time recently and he didn't text me after, I think I'm just going to pull away too as he's been doing and see if it matters to him. He still says love you and sends the occasional tiktok or two, but I don't know what to do about this girl situation, do I bring it up, do I start pulling away now? Any inputs appreciated

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I just don't want to beg and the fact I even need to ask this kinda says it all. Obviously I'd like to stay with him but I don't want to be clingy and jealous and ask, and I don't want to keep putting in effort and being all lovey dovey if he's not. I want us to work but idk if pulling away will have the desired effect, or tell me the answer of if he cares or not

Reply 2

Surnia

Life & Style Forum Helper

You don't pull away at all; that's an immature approach. You sit down with your boyfriend and discuss the communication between uou.

But honestly, a relationship shouldn't be based on how many texts or xxxs or whatever else over a phone; it's how you are as a couple in real life and messages can fall off between people once they are comfortable in a relationship.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Surnia

You don't pull away at all; that's an immature approach. You sit down with your boyfriend and discuss the communication between uou.
But honestly, a relationship shouldn't be based on how many texts or xxxs or whatever else over a phone; it's how you are as a couple in real life and messages can fall off between people once they are comfortable in a relationship.

It may be immature but rn we hardly ever have a time slot we can talk, I'm hardly ever allowed on my phone and we can't see each other due to exams. I'm happy to discuss the communication, though he says it's because of school sometimes even when hes online and snapping people, but it's the fact it's about this girl, and I don't want to sound jealous and ask about her. We're okay in real life usually, but I don't like that, it feels like he's gotten complacent while I still put effort in. He forgot our 1 month etc