Lesbian and my GF has no interest in sex

We have been in a lesbian relationship for 4.5 years. My girlfriend has no interest in sex now! The first 6 months of our relationship sexual wise we were amazing, we had sex lots. After 6 months it slowly died off! Now 4.5 years in and she has absolutely no interest in sex with me. Infact since we were together for 1.5 years she lost all interest. I initiate sex, affection and love... she has no interest! But she says she loves me! I try everything to encourage sex but get knocked backed..... she never touches me to initiate sex. We have been on five holidays abroad and still no sex! I ask her and she just doesn't seem to care! She says let's do it In the morning but it never happens! We have probably had sex 10 times in 3 x years!! I have never cheated but I'm getting to the point where I want sex!! She isn't a cheat either. I love her but I want sex..... HELP!

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I mean no offence, but being a straight male this hits too close to home.
Like… oddly similar to what I have in my marriage. I found no solution and had to accept we just have different libido levels. We both love each other dearly, but the bed is for sleeping only and been like that for years.

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

I think you both need to tell the other person openly and honestly that sex is important for you and that you need it to be part of your relationship - and then discuss how to work on it. Be clear that a lack of intimacy has real consequences on the quality of your relationship and may well push you into decisions or behaviour that could be regretful for you both.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I think you both need to tell the other person openly and honestly that sex is important for you and that you need it to be part of your relationship - and then discuss how to work on it. Be clear that a lack of intimacy has real consequences on the quality of your relationship and may well push you into decisions or behaviour that could be regretful for you both.

I agree and I tried that many times. It worked for the first few weeks then it all went back to the same old. I honestly tried every thing in the book and nothing worked long term. She is fully aware and appreciates what I try to communicate but it's not in her nature so I gave up. I do keep bringing it up once in a while, but there is no change.
Also, despite the fact it's affecting me greatly, I will never consider an end to our relationship/marriage because of that.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I agree and I tried that many times. It worked for the first few weeks then it all went back to the same old. I honestly tried every thing in the book and nothing worked long term. She is fully aware and appreciates what I try to communicate but it's not in her nature so I gave up. I do keep bringing it up once in a while, but there is no change.
Also, despite the fact it's affecting me greatly, I will never consider an end to our relationship/marriage because of that.

Understood - its a difficult situation - has she tried to explain how she feels with respect to sex, why she perhaps wants it less often etc. Could you try to initiate sex more often and worry less about that aspect of it ie that you are having to do the initial part of it? From my own experience, the more sex I have with a partner, the more sex they want going forwards - if that makes sense.

Reply 5

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

I think you both need to tell the other person openly and honestly that sex is important for you and that you need it to be part of your relationship - and then discuss how to work on it. Be clear that a lack of intimacy has real consequences on the quality of your relationship and may well push you into decisions or behaviour that could be regretful for you both.

If the other person doesn't want sex, pressuring them to have it is v wrong. They need to try to up their libido first, and connect non sexually, maybe have some counselling & focus on connrcting throigh touch, then the sex will come naturally. If it's really gone, then the relationship needs to end.

Lesbian and my GF has no interest in sex

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