Is there any point in doing a gap year?
I got rejected by Cambridge earlier this year and my sixth form coordinator and parents suggested doing a gap year. I have a chronic illness/chronic illnesses that isn't/aren't completely diagnosed yet (they recently suggested a possible diagnosis of inflammatory spondylarthritis) so I guess taking a gap year to get my diagnoses in order some more, try to see if I can get my symptoms under control without the stress of school, and just to have time off, would be beneficial. My health is unstable right now and I don't have much independence or a proper treatment plan, so jumping into uni right after a-levels might not be the best idea. But is there really any point in reapplying? I still don't have feedback from the college I applied to, but even with the feedback what would I even improve on if I wasn't good enough the first time? I doubt my nerves were the only reason I didn't pass for an offer, so I don't have much hope that the experience of having been to an interview will help me much.
I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might just not be good enough or suited to Cambridge, even though I was so sure that their learning environment is something that would allow me to thrive. It's something I was so desperate and eager to experience - and I know it's not a supreme, elite, academic utopia of the utmost perfection, but it's as close as I'll get. It's still something that I really wanted and felt like would be great for me, even though I'm sure most people who are rejected say the same thing.
But it also might be that I have an older sibling at Oxford, and a younger one applying for 2025 entry, who I am certain will get in (as certain as you can be for something like uni entry). It might just be the embarrassment of being the only sibling to not get in that's making me consider re-applying, because I don't know how I'd even get over that. Not getting in after my older sibling is already tearing me apart. I haven't even spoken to them since getting rejected, and it's in no way out of anger but pure embarrassment, like they're going to look at me with pity or something. As students, the 3 of us are really similar, so I don't know how I could handle knowing they were successful, and I wasn't, because despite all my doubts I know that my academic ability isn't any lesser than theirs, or at least not significantly so. It feels like I don't have an 'excuse' for not getting in if the two of them can do it. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed in myself, like this is eating me alive, even though it has literally been over 2 months now. Reapplying the same year as my younger sibling and watching them get accepted whilst I'm rejected is a probability that has me tearing at my hair, and I'm tired of worrying that I'm potentially dragging my siblings down with guilt they shouldn't have to feel.
I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might just not be good enough or suited to Cambridge, even though I was so sure that their learning environment is something that would allow me to thrive. It's something I was so desperate and eager to experience - and I know it's not a supreme, elite, academic utopia of the utmost perfection, but it's as close as I'll get. It's still something that I really wanted and felt like would be great for me, even though I'm sure most people who are rejected say the same thing.
But it also might be that I have an older sibling at Oxford, and a younger one applying for 2025 entry, who I am certain will get in (as certain as you can be for something like uni entry). It might just be the embarrassment of being the only sibling to not get in that's making me consider re-applying, because I don't know how I'd even get over that. Not getting in after my older sibling is already tearing me apart. I haven't even spoken to them since getting rejected, and it's in no way out of anger but pure embarrassment, like they're going to look at me with pity or something. As students, the 3 of us are really similar, so I don't know how I could handle knowing they were successful, and I wasn't, because despite all my doubts I know that my academic ability isn't any lesser than theirs, or at least not significantly so. It feels like I don't have an 'excuse' for not getting in if the two of them can do it. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed in myself, like this is eating me alive, even though it has literally been over 2 months now. Reapplying the same year as my younger sibling and watching them get accepted whilst I'm rejected is a probability that has me tearing at my hair, and I'm tired of worrying that I'm potentially dragging my siblings down with guilt they shouldn't have to feel.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by TeaOnRice
I got rejected by Cambridge earlier this year and my sixth form coordinator and parents suggested doing a gap year. I have a chronic illness/chronic illnesses that isn't/aren't completely diagnosed yet (they recently suggested a possible diagnosis of inflammatory spondylarthritis) so I guess taking a gap year to get my diagnoses in order some more, try to see if I can get my symptoms under control without the stress of school, and just to have time off, would be beneficial. My health is unstable right now and I don't have much independence or a proper treatment plan, so jumping into uni right after a-levels might not be the best idea. But is there really any point in reapplying? I still don't have feedback from the college I applied to, but even with the feedback what would I even improve on if I wasn't good enough the first time? I doubt my nerves were the only reason I didn't pass for an offer, so I don't have much hope that the experience of having been to an interview will help me much.
I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might just not be good enough or suited to Cambridge, even though I was so sure that their learning environment is something that would allow me to thrive. It's something I was so desperate and eager to experience - and I know it's not a supreme, elite, academic utopia of the utmost perfection, but it's as close as I'll get. It's still something that I really wanted and felt like would be great for me, even though I'm sure most people who are rejected say the same thing.
But it also might be that I have an older sibling at Oxford, and a younger one applying for 2025 entry, who I am certain will get in (as certain as you can be for something like uni entry). It might just be the embarrassment of being the only sibling to not get in that's making me consider re-applying, because I don't know how I'd even get over that. Not getting in after my older sibling is already tearing me apart. I haven't even spoken to them since getting rejected, and it's in no way out of anger but pure embarrassment, like they're going to look at me with pity or something. As students, the 3 of us are really similar, so I don't know how I could handle knowing they were successful, and I wasn't, because despite all my doubts I know that my academic ability isn't any lesser than theirs, or at least not significantly so. It feels like I don't have an 'excuse' for not getting in if the two of them can do it. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed in myself, like this is eating me alive, even though it has literally been over 2 months now. Reapplying the same year as my younger sibling and watching them get accepted whilst I'm rejected is a probability that has me tearing at my hair, and I'm tired of worrying that I'm potentially dragging my siblings down with guilt they shouldn't have to feel.
I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might just not be good enough or suited to Cambridge, even though I was so sure that their learning environment is something that would allow me to thrive. It's something I was so desperate and eager to experience - and I know it's not a supreme, elite, academic utopia of the utmost perfection, but it's as close as I'll get. It's still something that I really wanted and felt like would be great for me, even though I'm sure most people who are rejected say the same thing.
But it also might be that I have an older sibling at Oxford, and a younger one applying for 2025 entry, who I am certain will get in (as certain as you can be for something like uni entry). It might just be the embarrassment of being the only sibling to not get in that's making me consider re-applying, because I don't know how I'd even get over that. Not getting in after my older sibling is already tearing me apart. I haven't even spoken to them since getting rejected, and it's in no way out of anger but pure embarrassment, like they're going to look at me with pity or something. As students, the 3 of us are really similar, so I don't know how I could handle knowing they were successful, and I wasn't, because despite all my doubts I know that my academic ability isn't any lesser than theirs, or at least not significantly so. It feels like I don't have an 'excuse' for not getting in if the two of them can do it. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed in myself, like this is eating me alive, even though it has literally been over 2 months now. Reapplying the same year as my younger sibling and watching them get accepted whilst I'm rejected is a probability that has me tearing at my hair, and I'm tired of worrying that I'm potentially dragging my siblings down with guilt they shouldn't have to feel.
Hi both of my brothers had applied for uni this year while one got into oxford and the other into aston. My brother was 4 years late to applying in 2023 for an illness also. Whereas my other brother was just applying for the first time. I just wanted to let you know that its never too late. Sometimes when you wait a better opportunity comes. Also unis have reasons for not accepting you that might not make sense to you. Remember everything happens for a reason.
I'd advise for you to wait until 2025, gap years are common and trust me your reason for not going this year is completely valid!
Reply 2
Original post by TeaOnRice
I got rejected by Cambridge earlier this year and my sixth form coordinator and parents suggested doing a gap year. I have a chronic illness/chronic illnesses that isn't/aren't completely diagnosed yet (they recently suggested a possible diagnosis of inflammatory spondylarthritis) so I guess taking a gap year to get my diagnoses in order some more, try to see if I can get my symptoms under control without the stress of school, and just to have time off, would be beneficial. My health is unstable right now and I don't have much independence or a proper treatment plan, so jumping into uni right after a-levels might not be the best idea. But is there really any point in reapplying? I still don't have feedback from the college I applied to, but even with the feedback what would I even improve on if I wasn't good enough the first time? I doubt my nerves were the only reason I didn't pass for an offer, so I don't have much hope that the experience of having been to an interview will help me much.
I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might just not be good enough or suited to Cambridge, even though I was so sure that their learning environment is something that would allow me to thrive. It's something I was so desperate and eager to experience - and I know it's not a supreme, elite, academic utopia of the utmost perfection, but it's as close as I'll get. It's still something that I really wanted and felt like would be great for me, even though I'm sure most people who are rejected say the same thing.
But it also might be that I have an older sibling at Oxford, and a younger one applying for 2025 entry, who I am certain will get in (as certain as you can be for something like uni entry). It might just be the embarrassment of being the only sibling to not get in that's making me consider re-applying, because I don't know how I'd even get over that. Not getting in after my older sibling is already tearing me apart. I haven't even spoken to them since getting rejected, and it's in no way out of anger but pure embarrassment, like they're going to look at me with pity or something. As students, the 3 of us are really similar, so I don't know how I could handle knowing they were successful, and I wasn't, because despite all my doubts I know that my academic ability isn't any lesser than theirs, or at least not significantly so. It feels like I don't have an 'excuse' for not getting in if the two of them can do it. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed in myself, like this is eating me alive, even though it has literally been over 2 months now. Reapplying the same year as my younger sibling and watching them get accepted whilst I'm rejected is a probability that has me tearing at my hair, and I'm tired of worrying that I'm potentially dragging my siblings down with guilt they shouldn't have to feel.
I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might just not be good enough or suited to Cambridge, even though I was so sure that their learning environment is something that would allow me to thrive. It's something I was so desperate and eager to experience - and I know it's not a supreme, elite, academic utopia of the utmost perfection, but it's as close as I'll get. It's still something that I really wanted and felt like would be great for me, even though I'm sure most people who are rejected say the same thing.
But it also might be that I have an older sibling at Oxford, and a younger one applying for 2025 entry, who I am certain will get in (as certain as you can be for something like uni entry). It might just be the embarrassment of being the only sibling to not get in that's making me consider re-applying, because I don't know how I'd even get over that. Not getting in after my older sibling is already tearing me apart. I haven't even spoken to them since getting rejected, and it's in no way out of anger but pure embarrassment, like they're going to look at me with pity or something. As students, the 3 of us are really similar, so I don't know how I could handle knowing they were successful, and I wasn't, because despite all my doubts I know that my academic ability isn't any lesser than theirs, or at least not significantly so. It feels like I don't have an 'excuse' for not getting in if the two of them can do it. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed in myself, like this is eating me alive, even though it has literally been over 2 months now. Reapplying the same year as my younger sibling and watching them get accepted whilst I'm rejected is a probability that has me tearing at my hair, and I'm tired of worrying that I'm potentially dragging my siblings down with guilt they shouldn't have to feel.
As for reapplying to Cambridge or any other university, it's important to remember that rejection doesn't define your worth or capabilities. It's natural to feel disappointed, but it's also an opportunity for growth and reflection. If you do decide to reapply, use this time to strengthen your application based on any feedback you will receive and your own self-assessment.Comparing yourself to your siblings and feeling embarrassed about not getting into Cambridge is understandable, but it's essential to recognise that everyone's path is unique. Your worth is not determined by where you study or whether you follow the same path as your siblings. Focus on your own journey and what's best for you.
Remember, your value as a person extends far beyond academic achievements or university admissions. Take the time you need to prioritize your health and well-being, and trust that the right path will unfold for you in due time.
(edited 1 year ago)
Reply 3
Your goal in life can’t be to go to Cambridge. That’s extremely limiting, especially as most people DON’T get in. There are many other universities. As with chronic illnesses you’ll have episodes where it’s good and times when it flares up, so a year out isn’t a miracle cure. I think you need to reevaluate your own goals and perceptions otherwise you’ll continue to go through life negatively.
Reply 4
Original post by TeaOnRice
I got rejected by Cambridge earlier this year and my sixth form coordinator and parents suggested doing a gap year. I have a chronic illness/chronic illnesses that isn't/aren't completely diagnosed yet (they recently suggested a possible diagnosis of inflammatory spondylarthritis) so I guess taking a gap year to get my diagnoses in order some more, try to see if I can get my symptoms under control without the stress of school, and just to have time off, would be beneficial. My health is unstable right now and I don't have much independence or a proper treatment plan, so jumping into uni right after a-levels might not be the best idea. But is there really any point in reapplying? I still don't have feedback from the college I applied to, but even with the feedback what would I even improve on if I wasn't good enough the first time? I doubt my nerves were the only reason I didn't pass for an offer, so I don't have much hope that the experience of having been to an interview will help me much.
I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might just not be good enough or suited to Cambridge, even though I was so sure that their learning environment is something that would allow me to thrive. It's something I was so desperate and eager to experience - and I know it's not a supreme, elite, academic utopia of the utmost perfection, but it's as close as I'll get. It's still something that I really wanted and felt like would be great for me, even though I'm sure most people who are rejected say the same thing.
But it also might be that I have an older sibling at Oxford, and a younger one applying for 2025 entry, who I am certain will get in (as certain as you can be for something like uni entry). It might just be the embarrassment of being the only sibling to not get in that's making me consider re-applying, because I don't know how I'd even get over that. Not getting in after my older sibling is already tearing me apart. I haven't even spoken to them since getting rejected, and it's in no way out of anger but pure embarrassment, like they're going to look at me with pity or something. As students, the 3 of us are really similar, so I don't know how I could handle knowing they were successful, and I wasn't, because despite all my doubts I know that my academic ability isn't any lesser than theirs, or at least not significantly so. It feels like I don't have an 'excuse' for not getting in if the two of them can do it. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed in myself, like this is eating me alive, even though it has literally been over 2 months now. Reapplying the same year as my younger sibling and watching them get accepted whilst I'm rejected is a probability that has me tearing at my hair, and I'm tired of worrying that I'm potentially dragging my siblings down with guilt they shouldn't have to feel.
I just don't know if I'm ready to accept that I might just not be good enough or suited to Cambridge, even though I was so sure that their learning environment is something that would allow me to thrive. It's something I was so desperate and eager to experience - and I know it's not a supreme, elite, academic utopia of the utmost perfection, but it's as close as I'll get. It's still something that I really wanted and felt like would be great for me, even though I'm sure most people who are rejected say the same thing.
But it also might be that I have an older sibling at Oxford, and a younger one applying for 2025 entry, who I am certain will get in (as certain as you can be for something like uni entry). It might just be the embarrassment of being the only sibling to not get in that's making me consider re-applying, because I don't know how I'd even get over that. Not getting in after my older sibling is already tearing me apart. I haven't even spoken to them since getting rejected, and it's in no way out of anger but pure embarrassment, like they're going to look at me with pity or something. As students, the 3 of us are really similar, so I don't know how I could handle knowing they were successful, and I wasn't, because despite all my doubts I know that my academic ability isn't any lesser than theirs, or at least not significantly so. It feels like I don't have an 'excuse' for not getting in if the two of them can do it. I genuinely feel so embarrassed and ashamed and disappointed in myself, like this is eating me alive, even though it has literally been over 2 months now. Reapplying the same year as my younger sibling and watching them get accepted whilst I'm rejected is a probability that has me tearing at my hair, and I'm tired of worrying that I'm potentially dragging my siblings down with guilt they shouldn't have to feel.
Hi, I know I'm very late to this post but I'm someone in a very similar situation and found this by searching about how i felt. I'm in the process of hopefully/finally getting diagnosed with something but my entire summer I've been bedridden. I've not had any energy and my muscles have been so weak/tense alongside brain fog + loss of appetite so all of that combining it's been thoroughly -depressing- (so not done any revision xxx). It has made me realise I'm definitely going to have to take a year out after year 13 to have the time to rest properly, trial different meds and like you seek further diagnosis if needed. Similarly to you, my older sister is the smartest person I know and most people know (100% in all 4 stem a levels and ranked 1st in her cohort for medicine at edinburgh in her year 2 exams 🙃) so the comparison is real! I guess almost annoyingly and inspirationally she did that with epilepsy and lupus. I feel embarrassed that I'm such a 'failure' at surviving compared to her and I don't know how she does it and tbh she doesn't, she frequently has flare ups because of her perfectionist tendencies. So all this really does get to me too and I know people say comparison is the thief of joy but as humans we can't help it, even more so with the added stress of chronic illness. To be honest the main reason I wanted to reply was that I fell in love with Cambridge, the style of teaching, the aesthetic and all that but I've come to terms with not even applying because I know I won't be able to hack the pressure nor constantly feeling like I'm in catch up mode with everyone else when I feel like death warmed up. I know I will still get this at other unis but at least I won't be in the Cambridge 'bubble' and feeling like I need to be perfect. So I just really want to say you're not alone!
(I also hope results day went ok for you! 🙂 )
Original post by ameliatinn
Hi, I know I'm very late to this post but I'm someone in a very similar situation and found this by searching about how i felt. I'm in the process of hopefully/finally getting diagnosed with something but my entire summer I've been bedridden. I've not had any energy and my muscles have been so weak/tense alongside brain fog + loss of appetite so all of that combining it's been thoroughly -depressing- (so not done any revision xxx). It has made me realise I'm definitely going to have to take a year out after year 13 to have the time to rest properly, trial different meds and like you seek further diagnosis if needed. Similarly to you, my older sister is the smartest person I know and most people know (100% in all 4 stem a levels and ranked 1st in her cohort for medicine at edinburgh in her year 2 exams 🙃) so the comparison is real! I guess almost annoyingly and inspirationally she did that with epilepsy and lupus. I feel embarrassed that I'm such a 'failure' at surviving compared to her and I don't know how she does it and tbh she doesn't, she frequently has flare ups because of her perfectionist tendencies. So all this really does get to me too and I know people say comparison is the thief of joy but as humans we can't help it, even more so with the added stress of chronic illness. To be honest the main reason I wanted to reply was that I fell in love with Cambridge, the style of teaching, the aesthetic and all that but I've come to terms with not even applying because I know I won't be able to hack the pressure nor constantly feeling like I'm in catch up mode with everyone else when I feel like death warmed up. I know I will still get this at other unis but at least I won't be in the Cambridge 'bubble' and feeling like I need to be perfect. So I just really want to say you're not alone!
(I also hope results day went ok for you! 🙂 )
(I also hope results day went ok for you! 🙂 )
Hey, I know this is such a late reply but I wish you luck on your A-levels (assuming you've just started Y13?) and health journey. The self-comparison to older sisters is such a crazy experience lol and should definitely be studied, but as someone who always felt like a failure, partly due to my health AND my inferior resilience, intelligence and concentration in regards to my sister, I'm sure you aren't really a failure
it's ironic for me to say this because I never gave myself a break, but please remember to be kind to yourself. Struggling with health isn't easy, especially when you're undiagnosed (or not fully diagnosed) and not on working treatments. I won't try to downplay your sister's suffering to try to make you feel less guilty about being a 'failure', but it's not easy to push yourself and succeed whilst living the undiagnosed chronic illness life. It makes it a LOT harder to pace yourself and figure out ways to cope with your symptoms so that you can function at least a little more efficiently when you don't even know what you're dealing with. Whether or not you've definitely decided against Cambridge, I hope it all works out for you!! And if it gives you any hope (and thank you for your well wishes), my results day went great despite my terrible school attendance and I ended up receiving a Cambridge offer via the Summer Pool! I'm still taking a year out for my health, and whilst I'm embarrassed and disappointed that I ended up having to take that path and definitely am feeling like I'm not trying hard enough to just 'push through' instead of being a baby about my pain, I'm trying to accept that being ill is a perfectly good reason to give yourself a break to figure things out, which you deserve too Quick Reply
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