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Kickstarting my life and getting my first job at 23.

Its embarassing. Im 23 and never had a job, I finished 6th form at 18 and I and after that it went downhill. In the year after I left I had a tough time and have struggled with my mental health since.
I got a job in a care home in july 2020 and was attacked after a week there and didn't go back.
I want to kickstart my life, I want to be successful but i don't know how. How will someone employ me when I struggle to comminicate with people and have no work experience at my age?

Does anyone have any advice atall? Im so stuck and just embarrassed. Ill appreciate any and all advice 🙏
well, i'm not sure if you want to hear this. but nothing will ever change if you don't do something. sure there will be many people who reject you and not want you as an employee, but you'll find something eventually, even if it might take a while. instead of thinking that you're not good enough, think about what you can do to bbe a good employee, not everyone is a perfect employee to begin with. it's ok to feel embarrassed and stuck, you're allowed to feel, but don't let it dictate you. you may feel stuck now, but it won't always be like that as long as you try. be determined to succeed. considering how much you care about this, its clear you want to do well in life. as long as you keep that drive, you will be fine. that being said, it won't be easy, but nothing ever is. start off small, do smaller tasks to make yourself comfortable then you can continue progressing. hope it helps, good luck.
Reply 2
Original post by modus0perandi
well, i'm not sure if you want to hear this. but nothing will ever change if you don't do something. sure there will be many people who reject you and not want you as an employee, but you'll find something eventually, even if it might take a while. instead of thinking that you're not good enough, think about what you can do to bbe a good employee, not everyone is a perfect employee to begin with. it's ok to feel embarrassed and stuck, you're allowed to feel, but don't let it dictate you. you may feel stuck now, but it won't always be like that as long as you try. be determined to succeed. considering how much you care about this, its clear you want to do well in life. as long as you keep that drive, you will be fine. that being said, it won't be easy, but nothing ever is. start off small, do smaller tasks to make yourself comfortable then you can continue progressing. hope it helps, good luck.

No its exactly what i need to hear. I want a better and successful life for myself. I just need to find a way to help myself actually be able to talk to people, its hard but I want it so much. I know ive just got to push myself and i will get there :smile:
Reply 3
If youre in a financially secure position, consider volunteering part time in the first instance - gain transferable skills, social confidence, references etc without the "pressure" of a job as you are effectively doing them a favour.

Then when you are starting out looking for jobs consider what impacts your mental health in specific ways that are deal breakers; i keep taking jobs that have phone duties and i am wracked with anxiety constantly so really I should be looking for jobs without. Consider work life balance, start part time, regular hours - shift work and night work can pose additional challenges.

When it feels tough, think about what you will gain from the process, maybe its money to do and buy things you couldnt before, maybe its having work colleagues and christmas parties, maybe its feeling better discussing your situation in social settings, make a list and keep sight of it when it feels difficult.

There is always going to be an "adjustment period". The first time you do anything or go anywhere new, its unfamiliar. You feel a duck out of water. Youre unsure and unsteady and your brain may want to RUN, however its import to remember that humans and endlessly adaptable beings. Everything that is strange becomes familiar, everything that is confusing becomes known. The process of adapting my take a little while but you can and will adapt.

Find ways to phrase and frame things that make you more comfortable - for me i like "I took some time out of education and employment to improve my health conditions" i dont usually specify that its mental health in applications until the interview stage where its easier to talk without feeling immediately written off ahead of time.

Keep your head high - we are living breathing beings with souls and hearts and dreams; it can be hard to see your own situation with kindness but if you needed that time to heal to a point where you have capacity to try moving forward, then that time was utterly essential. Start on strong footing, make yourself routines and lists, make life easier where you can (packing lunches/prepping clothes the night before/getting the bus instead of walking when tired) and don't beat yourself up for trying even if things dont go how you wished.

I wish you the best of luck and I believe in you!

~Sin
Original post by Shay69
Its embarassing. Im 23 and never had a job, I finished 6th form at 18 and I and after that it went downhill. In the year after I left I had a tough time and have struggled with my mental health since.
I got a job in a care home in july 2020 and was attacked after a week there and didn't go back.
I want to kickstart my life, I want to be successful but i don't know how. How will someone employ me when I struggle to comminicate with people and have no work experience at my age?
Does anyone have any advice atall? Im so stuck and just embarrassed. Ill appreciate any and all advice 🙏

First thing you need to determine is whether you might be "Neurodivergent", i.e. wired differently to many people ?. For example Elon Musk one of richest men in World has autism or aspergers etc . They now call the whole spectrum "Neurodivergent" . Is that something you may have ?. I would say a job in a hotel ,living in, may be good. If you find the right Hotel you will soon be mixing with all the others personnel. I did that myself when younger. I was very shy, and also I believe I have unndiagnosed neurodivergence. The best way often is NOT to choose the easy path (i.e. lock yourself away etc) but to choose the UNcomfortable route and force yourself to meet other people, in a job. You will soon find you get much more comfortable. You might also, in addition, consider using a good Hypnotist (they do seriously work) and ak them to give you more confidence etc. Seriously is worth a good few sessions (maybe £200 privately in total)
Reply 5
Original post by Shay69
Its embarassing. Im 23 and never had a job, I finished 6th form at 18 and I and after that it went downhill. In the year after I left I had a tough time and have struggled with my mental health since.
I got a job in a care home in july 2020 and was attacked after a week there and didn't go back.
I want to kickstart my life, I want to be successful but i don't know how. How will someone employ me when I struggle to comminicate with people and have no work experience at my age?
Does anyone have any advice atall? Im so stuck and just embarrassed. Ill appreciate any and all advice 🙏

Hi that must have been not easy. I was a carer for 4 years and come across certain situations as well. You have to chalk that up as not being the right job for you. My youngest, shes 18 and she went to uni, didnt like being away from home, and ended up taking a gap year so she can start uni in her home county. So she decided to get some work. She applied for lots and lots of jobs on indeed. Some got back, some didnt come back, some she had interviews for as well.
She made sure she applied to at least 3-4 jobs 5 days a week. Some days she would do more. Whether thats cleaning, working in a shop, working in a bar. She went for a seasonal job at tescos and got it. With it being seasonal, dont write it off, its worth going for still, even if its temporary. She worked until christmas, and then didnt work again and got a few no's before working at a shop in the city part time.
Also she has really bad anxieties as well as she does not like large crowds, and any critisism sends her panicking, so christmas at tesco was a challenge, but she got through it. Thats really been a huge help for her mentally to know she can do things and get through them.

So go on indeed, total jobs, and aim to apply to as many as you can. The more you apply, the odds are you will get more interviews and more chance of getting a place. More exposure to interviews will also help you get experience.
(edited 3 months ago)
AND also please let me add. You might want to consider getting a Weighted Blanket/Duvet. See B&Q . They can increase your serotonin and other hormones, and lessen your anxiety etc. Seriously you would be amazed how it can work well. Need to use for month to start see affects. I also would go for one around 9kg weight, as I know for fact that worked for a 5'4 young lady and was maybe 50kgs or so. Helps you sleep also as is like being cuddled.
(edited 3 months ago)

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