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friends keep wanting to hang out

My friends keep wanting to hang out on the weekend or during holidays. We see each other all the time in school - either in lessons or at lunchtime or before/after school for like 20 minutes. They keep insisting that we dont see each other often and that the group is drifting away but i genuinely don't understand because we all talk everyday. If they said we don't see each other often, then we wouldn't be seeing each other at school so it would be understandable if they wanted to hang outside, but its not like that.
I know i should be grateful as some people don't have any friends, but as exams are approaching, i just feel pressured to be going to more and more social events when i should be doing the total opposite. I don't feel bad when i decline tho because the friend group is quite big so it's not like i'm leaving only 3 people - theres 8 of them.

Why do they feel like this?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
My friends keep wanting to hang out on the weekend or during holidays. We see each other all the time in school - either in lessons or at lunchtime or before/after school for like 20 minutes. They keep insisting that we dont see each other often and that the group is drifting away but i genuinely don't understand because we all talk everyday. If they said we don't see each other often, then we wouldn't be seeing each other at school so it would be understandable if they wanted to hang outside, but its not like that.
I know i should be grateful as some people don't have any friends, but as exams are approaching, i just feel pressured to be going to more and more social events when i should be doing the total opposite. I don't feel bad when i decline tho because the friend group is quite big so it's not like i'm leaving only 3 people - theres 8 of them.
Why do they feel like this?
There is only 1 friend i would hang out whenever and that because we're in different schools in different towns. But if we're in the same school, i don't understand the need for hanging outside those hours. Not only this but when they say we don't talk alot - i find that very stupid because i'll text them and some of them will just read my message and then respond but respond a couple of days later when i no longer need the response. I don't think i'm being left out like people are ignoring me as people do directly tell me stuff and try to make plans with me but i just find it hypocritical that they're wanting everyone to talk more when they can't be bothered to text someone back
You see each other most days in a forced situation (School) As soon as that's removed a lot of friendships fall away if there isn't any outside of school activities and people need to actually start making effort rather than friends of convenience.

Like I don't really compare most of the time I spent as a kid playing with my friends on summer holidays etc and sitting in class with them surrounded by rules and adults.
Reply 3
Original post by StriderHort
You see each other most days in a forced situation (School) As soon as that's removed a lot of friendships fall away if there isn't any outside of school activities and people need to actually start making effort rather than friends of convenience.
Like I don't really compare most of the time I spent as a kid playing with my friends on summer holidays etc and sitting in class with them surrounded by rules and adults.
That's true but we hang out when its someones birthday, at the end of term or if a big event is happening like fireworks. We used to hang out quite alot because there was less stress but i just find it annoying as they are choosing to make more plans even tho this is the final stretch for alevels
Also a lot of people just don't really like talking by text, I'll mostly use it to exchange information or make plans to actually hang out. I can think of scores of good times I've had with friends, texting them doesn't even make it onto the list. So if you're sitting judging the friendship by how quick they reply to text you might be focussing on the wrong things. Your friends might have the right idea in trying to build friendships with more substance to them.

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