My dear sister in Islam, I resonate with your post as I am also your age and have also made sacrifices in the short life we have lived so far; and the fact that you left off what your heart burned for is really commendable, and not easy, and I praise you for that! However my sister, I warn you against the anger in your heart against the religion and the commands given with wisdom. Do you believe God is All-loving? Why would a Lord who loves you so much to the point where he has set you in a religion which will build for you a path to eternal pleasure enforce clear commands to harm you?
And I believe it is troubling you a lot due to a lack of understanding, so please read on! Also, there is a solution I can propose, that will help.
Funnily enough, your pain and situation is really relatable to this hadith below:
Imam Al-Bukhari narrated from Ibn 'Abbaas that a man came and said, "O father of 'Abbaas! My sustenance is from my manual profession and I make these pictures." Ibn 'Abbaas may Allaah be pleased with him said, "I will tell you only what I heard from Allaah's messenger. I heard him saying, 'Whoever makes a picture will be punished by Allah till he puts life into it, and he will never be able to put life into it.' "Hearing this, that man heaved a sigh and his face turned pale. Ibn 'Abbas said to him, "What a pity! If you insist on making pictures I advise you to make pictures of trees or any other unanimated object."
Imagine! A man who earned a living of drawing pictures. Reflect on his initial reaction to hearing the command. His face turned pale! However, to follow up, he was told that if does want to draw or make pictures, then in Islam drawing any unanimated object (something which does not live, have a soul inside of it) is perfectly fine! An example would be a tree, or a landscape setting, or a building etc etc.
Okay, I'm not done, let's continue on:
There can be a slight exception in your case. Read below:
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: With regard to dolls made of cloth, where the image does not have clear features, even though it has limbs, a head and neck, but there are no eyes or nose, there is nothing wrong with that, because this is not imitating the creation of Allaah.
End quote.
The Shaykh also said: Everyone who makes something that imitates the creation of Allaah is included in this hadeeth, which says that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed the image makers… and his words “The people who will be most severely punished on the Day of Resurrection will be the image-makers.” But as I said, if the image is not clear and if it does not have eyes or a nose or mouth or fingers, then it is not a complete image, and is not imitating the creation of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.
End quote.
This means, if you still really want to pursue drawing, creating your images whilst discarding some features at a small sacrifice, such as excluding the facial features as a whole or some as mentioned above should be fine in that case, as it is not a complete image!
Now that we have got past that, I wanted to give a bit of heartful advice my sister.
Something I cannot stress enough is venting your frustration of the religion to people who are not from the religion, and have knowledge within it or understand the beauty of it. Non-muslims, humans just as yourself, who speak from a closed-minded perspective will of course tell you to "chase your heart's desires!" In addition, they would encourage you to take on further acts which our religion has prohibited for our good and may lead to your own destruction.
This is matter of faith my dear sister. And it is also a matter of free will. Were you lied to, when you were told life is a test? Many a time, we may have to make sacrifices along the way, and seek better alternatives.
In your case alhamdulillah, there are still solutions, so you don't have to abandon your path of creativity!
'Why does islam take the dreams of creative Muslims away?'
Imagine someone who was willing to become apart of the religion after being inspired saw a statement such as this, which is not true at all. It may push people away from the religion or taint a bad image of it.
Further than drawing, poetry is another form of creativity which many muslims in the past would do! On top of that, early islamic scholars significant contributed to early developments in astronomy, medicine and mathematics! On top of that, you can look at islamic caligraphy, which is so intricate and beautiful and requires a great level of detail and creativity.
And many, many more...
May Allah bless you, and Allah knows best of course.
I wanted to leave with this: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded; and gain strength by worshipping in the mornings, the afternoons, and during the last hours of the nights."