i have 1-2 months left until the start of my a level exams but i'm feeling really really unmotivated. what i'm especially worried about is maths, i'm afraid i'll fail and resitting is looked down upon in some universities, so there'll be less chance of me getting in the unis i want.
i usually cannot focus in class no matter how much i try and get nothing done. and when i get back home, i get so tired and burnt out from school that i cannot get myself to do anything else. as a result, lots of time gets wasted there. i barely have any energy to do anything beside the bare minimum (this also includes things outside academics, for instance i tend to skip meals frequently because i don’t feel like getting up to make food). i also make sure to not engage in any new activity (like reading a book, watching tv, drawing, playing games…) because i’m afraid i’ll get too absorbed into it and lose focus in studying (and that did happen before).
i may also have undiagnosed autism and adhd but nhs waiting times are painfully long so i doubt i'd get any help from that anytime soon.
i've talked about being distracted during lesson time with my teachers but they just dismissed it by saying that 'there are no distractions in class'. they also asked me what they can do to remove distractions but... i literally have no idea myself, so what am i supposed to say? i'm incredibly worried and stressed that i will fail maths and feel really shameful and embarrassed about my incompetence. i know i have lots of potential but i’m wasting it all because i don’t know how to manage this and it’s probably too late to fix anything. my teachers have probably given up on me anyways. no one else in my class feels like this, they can all focus just fine and even enjoy the lesson and teaching structure so i’m the only one who is struggling.
sorry for writing all that, i just needed to vent. have a good day.