The Student Room Group

No friends for y11 summer

So I have a few “friends” at school, none of whom have messaged me once this entire holiday. I’ve literally not talked to anyone from school at all.

I have my GCSEs next month and am looking forward to the long break of course, and I’ve heard it’s one of the best summers you can possibly have, but obviously that only works if you have friends to enjoy it with. All of my so called friends are actually insufferable, for many reasons I promise I’m not horrible or anything. Plus they never make an effort to talk to me outside of school, or even in school.

Does anyone else have experience with this or can anyone relate? What do I do with myself in this long summer with no friends?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
So I have a few “friends” at school, none of whom have messaged me once this entire holiday. I’ve literally not talked to anyone from school at all.
I have my GCSEs next month and am looking forward to the long break of course, and I’ve heard it’s one of the best summers you can possibly have, but obviously that only works if you have friends to enjoy it with. All of my so called friends are actually insufferable, for many reasons I promise I’m not horrible or anything. Plus they never make an effort to talk to me outside of school, or even in school.
Does anyone else have experience with this or can anyone relate? What do I do with myself in this long summer with no friends?

Hiya! I've currently finished my first year at uni - in summer 2021, after my GCSE's, I was in the exact same position as you - my 'friends' who I had known from Yr7 - Yr11 stuck to themselves, and never let me in on anything. I'll be honest, it was tough - having them plan events in front of me and never inviting me, going out after school without me and only really talking to me during the breaks, and they weren't the nicest people personality wise either - on the lead up to GCSE's we barely spoke a word, especially as I was in a higher sets for most things and I barely used to see them as we didn't share classes. I'm quite introverted so I just kinda let it happen - but as I pulled away from them, I started to work on my own self-care a lot more, and that made me feel a lot better!

So I used that GCSE summer to cram harddd - I know that sounds really dull haha, but that summer felt so long after I have finished I knew I just had to make that one final push and that I could change things from there! I got through all my exams, and then starting trying to be more outgoing - I messaged people who I knew in class but had never spoke to a lot more, and I joined a lot of those tiktok/insta groups where they do hangouts for people who are from certain areas? I'm obviously not saying you should hang out with complete stranger haha, but honestly a summer rebrand was the best thing I ever did haha, buying new clothes and developing a new style, finding some new hobbies - are you heading to college or sixth form? I personally went to sixth form, but the few people I knew who went to college said it was quite freeing for them, and they became new people too - at sixth form though, I found my closest group of friends, people who I had never spoken to before but had seen the around my school but I had never reached out - who I am still in contact with now, so don't worry, because things will get better - don't give people who let you down the time of day - they aren't worth having as friends, so be unapologetically yourself :smile:

If you need anything, feel free to dm me if you want to talk - and good luck with your GCSE's!!
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
So I have a few “friends” at school, none of whom have messaged me once this entire holiday. I’ve literally not talked to anyone from school at all.
I have my GCSEs next month and am looking forward to the long break of course, and I’ve heard it’s one of the best summers you can possibly have, but obviously that only works if you have friends to enjoy it with. All of my so called friends are actually insufferable, for many reasons I promise I’m not horrible or anything. Plus they never make an effort to talk to me outside of school, or even in school.
Does anyone else have experience with this or can anyone relate? What do I do with myself in this long summer with no friends?

Year 11 isn't easy - to be honest I think having someone by your side is important and being alone is not fun and it pretty much sucks. I managed to make a friend in Year 9 and I still hangout with her and talk to her now in college (I'm in my first year and she goes to a different college)
Have you tried talking to anyone in your class from higher bands? There might already be friendship groups formed between them but try talking to some people, maybe starting conversation by asking for resources or pretend you don't know the answer and ask for help. Always make sure to smile, because that's literally helped me so much to seem more open to people.(When I was in year 11, my friends weren't in any of my classes apart from 2, so I had to be by myself all of the time, however I always made sure every interaction with my classmates was positive, so I became known for being a generally nice person. I always made sure to smile at everyone.) Does your school have any clubs? If you have no one to be with at lunch perhaps there's lunch time clubs you can go to instead, or after school as well. You might meet new people there.

It's alright to keep to yourself because after year 11 finishes trust me no one even remembers most of the details and it doesn't particularly matter. You should make the most of all the time you have alone and use some of it to revise, maybe hangout in the library, read something if that's what you're into. If you want to go to college or sixth form you will meet so many new people and should definitely take that chance when you get it. For now just hold on tight and finish your GCSE's and make the most of them. Leave those fake friends, they seem like they don't particularly care for you and you're wasting your time with them. You can have a better time by yourself than feeling uncomfortable with them trust me.

As for the holidays, I get that it can literally drag when you're stuck inside. Is there any relatives like cousins or relative's friends you can hangout with? Maybe you can hangout with you parents (if it's not awkward for you) and do something with them, or siblings if you have any. Maybe your parents know someone else's daughter/son's parents and can link you up with someone to hang out with.

Additionally, you can always go out for a walk and listen to music. You could go for a walk every day as part of your routine so the holidays don't seem so bad. Getting some fresh air and taking in your surroundings is much better than being stuck in your room (hopefully your parents let you go out for things like that). You could have your own picnic somewhere, in a park perhaps. If you're into creative stuff why not practise drawing your surroundings. For example if you're in the park, try drawing what you see (there's lots of youtube tutorials on drawing and stuff like that)

Hope your situation is Ok and hang on tight because once you're out of high school it is a lot more freeing and not as restrictive as being in the classroom :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
So I have a few “friends” at school, none of whom have messaged me once this entire holiday. I’ve literally not talked to anyone from school at all.
I have my GCSEs next month and am looking forward to the long break of course, and I’ve heard it’s one of the best summers you can possibly have, but obviously that only works if you have friends to enjoy it with. All of my so called friends are actually insufferable, for many reasons I promise I’m not horrible or anything. Plus they never make an effort to talk to me outside of school, or even in school.
Does anyone else have experience with this or can anyone relate? What do I do with myself in this long summer with no friends?

Hey! I’m a year 13 student just about to finish my a levels, and I was in exactly the same position as you! I was at a school where everyone saw each other as competition, I genuinely don’t think anyone was ever happy or truly nice to anyone. It can feel really hard, really isolating, you might even wonder what you’ve done wrong. Firstly, sometimes people just grow apart, and sometimes, people just aren’t very happy or very kind people. They are projecting their own sadness and insecurity on to you; but that isn’t acceptable and you have to distance yourself from people who want to bring you down or have no interest in being kind.

My year 11 summer- I chose a few books I wanted to read desperately when I was revising and I had no time to do so- I went abroad, spent quite a bit of time just enjoying the freedom and picking up interests. Spent a lot of time with my family. Started baking, drawing, just little things that were easy and fun. That is probably what I would advise you to do- pick up something you enjoy or go somewhere you’ve really been wanting to go, trust me when I say this won’t matter in a few years. It is hurtful and unkind, but just keep prioritising yourself and doing what makes YOU happy. You will probs feel more peaceful away from them over the summer anyway- less drama.

Hope that helps best of luck with your exams :smile:
Reply 4
Original post by momo.ko
Hiya! I've currently finished my first year at uni - in summer 2021, after my GCSE's, I was in the exact same position as you - my 'friends' who I had known from Yr7 - Yr11 stuck to themselves, and never let me in on anything. I'll be honest, it was tough - having them plan events in front of me and never inviting me, going out after school without me and only really talking to me during the breaks, and they weren't the nicest people personality wise either - on the lead up to GCSE's we barely spoke a word, especially as I was in a higher sets for most things and I barely used to see them as we didn't share classes. I'm quite introverted so I just kinda let it happen - but as I pulled away from them, I started to work on my own self-care a lot more, and that made me feel a lot better!
So I used that GCSE summer to cram harddd - I know that sounds really dull haha, but that summer felt so long after I have finished I knew I just had to make that one final push and that I could change things from there! I got through all my exams, and then starting trying to be more outgoing - I messaged people who I knew in class but had never spoke to a lot more, and I joined a lot of those tiktok/insta groups where they do hangouts for people who are from certain areas? I'm obviously not saying you should hang out with complete stranger haha, but honestly a summer rebrand was the best thing I ever did haha, buying new clothes and developing a new style, finding some new hobbies - are you heading to college or sixth form? I personally went to sixth form, but the few people I knew who went to college said it was quite freeing for them, and they became new people too - at sixth form though, I found my closest group of friends, people who I had never spoken to before but had seen the around my school but I had never reached out - who I am still in contact with now, so don't worry, because things will get better - don't give people who let you down the time of day - they aren't worth having as friends, so be unapologetically yourself :smile:
If you need anything, feel free to dm me if you want to talk - and good luck with your GCSE's!!

Thank you for your reply! it was really helpful for me (:
Reply 5
Original post by Mistiria
Year 11 isn't easy - to be honest I think having someone by your side is important and being alone is not fun and it pretty much sucks. I managed to make a friend in Year 9 and I still hangout with her and talk to her now in college (I'm in my first year and she goes to a different college)
Have you tried talking to anyone in your class from higher bands? There might already be friendship groups formed between them but try talking to some people, maybe starting conversation by asking for resources or pretend you don't know the answer and ask for help. Always make sure to smile, because that's literally helped me so much to seem more open to people.(When I was in year 11, my friends weren't in any of my classes apart from 2, so I had to be by myself all of the time, however I always made sure every interaction with my classmates was positive, so I became known for being a generally nice person. I always made sure to smile at everyone.) Does your school have any clubs? If you have no one to be with at lunch perhaps there's lunch time clubs you can go to instead, or after school as well. You might meet new people there.
It's alright to keep to yourself because after year 11 finishes trust me no one even remembers most of the details and it doesn't particularly matter. You should make the most of all the time you have alone and use some of it to revise, maybe hangout in the library, read something if that's what you're into. If you want to go to college or sixth form you will meet so many new people and should definitely take that chance when you get it. For now just hold on tight and finish your GCSE's and make the most of them. Leave those fake friends, they seem like they don't particularly care for you and you're wasting your time with them. You can have a better time by yourself than feeling uncomfortable with them trust me.
As for the holidays, I get that it can literally drag when you're stuck inside. Is there any relatives like cousins or relative's friends you can hangout with? Maybe you can hangout with you parents (if it's not awkward for you) and do something with them, or siblings if you have any. Maybe your parents know someone else's daughter/son's parents and can link you up with someone to hang out with.
Additionally, you can always go out for a walk and listen to music. You could go for a walk every day as part of your routine so the holidays don't seem so bad. Getting some fresh air and taking in your surroundings is much better than being stuck in your room (hopefully your parents let you go out for things like that). You could have your own picnic somewhere, in a park perhaps. If you're into creative stuff why not practise drawing your surroundings. For example if you're in the park, try drawing what you see (there's lots of youtube tutorials on drawing and stuff like that)
Hope your situation is Ok and hang on tight because once you're out of high school it is a lot more freeing and not as restrictive as being in the classroom :smile:

Thank you for your kindness (: and this genuinely helped me and made me feel better (:
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Hey! I’m a year 13 student just about to finish my a levels, and I was in exactly the same position as you! I was at a school where everyone saw each other as competition, I genuinely don’t think anyone was ever happy or truly nice to anyone. It can feel really hard, really isolating, you might even wonder what you’ve done wrong. Firstly, sometimes people just grow apart, and sometimes, people just aren’t very happy or very kind people. They are projecting their own sadness and insecurity on to you; but that isn’t acceptable and you have to distance yourself from people who want to bring you down or have no interest in being kind.
My year 11 summer- I chose a few books I wanted to read desperately when I was revising and I had no time to do so- I went abroad, spent quite a bit of time just enjoying the freedom and picking up interests. Spent a lot of time with my family. Started baking, drawing, just little things that were easy and fun. That is probably what I would advise you to do- pick up something you enjoy or go somewhere you’ve really been wanting to go, trust me when I say this won’t matter in a few years. It is hurtful and unkind, but just keep prioritising yourself and doing what makes YOU happy. You will probs feel more peaceful away from them over the summer anyway- less drama.
Hope that helps best of luck with your exams :smile:

Thank you, this was so helpful it made me feel much better (: Good luck with your exams too!
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for your reply! it was really helpful for me (:

No problem! Are any of my suggestions doable do you think? Let me know what you think of my examples ^D^
Original post by Anonymous
So I have a few “friends” at school, none of whom have messaged me once this entire holiday. I’ve literally not talked to anyone from school at all.
I have my GCSEs next month and am looking forward to the long break of course, and I’ve heard it’s one of the best summers you can possibly have, but obviously that only works if you have friends to enjoy it with. All of my so called friends are actually insufferable, for many reasons I promise I’m not horrible or anything. Plus they never make an effort to talk to me outside of school, or even in school.
Does anyone else have experience with this or can anyone relate? What do I do with myself in this long summer with no friends?

this is happening to e

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending