The Student Room Group

issues in english (help please)

hi <3
i'm ce and i have a photographic memory (lucky I know) it does mean that exams are an awful lot easier for me and I'm rlly grateful for that. however its leading to issues for me because basically my whole english class doesn't like me :frown: we had a mock last week and my paper basically got passed around the whole class w/out my knowing coz I was absent. a lot of the students take the mick out of me and its making me feel like I want to drop the a level. i'd rather just peacefully exist icl but they wont stop coming at me.

any advice?
xoxo ce
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 1
Original post by totesnotgrace
hi <3
i'm ce and i have a photographic memory (lucky I know) it does mean that exams are an awful lot easier for me and I'm rlly grateful for that. however its leading to issues for me because basically my whole english class doesn't like me :frown: we had a mock last week and my paper basically got passed around the whole class w/out my knowing coz I was absent. a lot of the students take the mick out of me and its making me feel like I want to drop the a level. i'd rather just peacefully exist icl but they wont stop coming at me.
any advice?
xoxo ce

If you are performing well and being made fun of for that, it's clear that those people are just insecure about their own grades and making fun of people who they secretly admire makes them feel better. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If people are able to behave that childishly at 16-18, they obviously won't make it very far in the real world. You should not drop a subject that you are good at due to the insecurities of others. Your two options here are either confront them or ignore them. If you ignore them, I'll be honest, it will likely get worse until they get bored. If you confront them, then you should be strategic with how you do it. Ask them directly about why they feel so insecure that they have to belittle you about receiving a good grade. If they don't like the idea of someone having success in the future then they need to work on themselves. It would be more weird than anything if you came to do A levels out of your own free will and purposely decided to do bad, so if you doing good upsets them, then that's their own issue. This is all temporary so don't be discouraged by people who think it's "lame" to be smart or try hard. Their mindsets say a lot about their futures.
Original post by bibachu
If you are performing well and being made fun of for that, it's clear that those people are just insecure about their own grades and making fun of people who they secretly admire makes them feel better. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If people are able to behave that childishly at 16-18, they obviously won't make it very far in the real world. You should not drop a subject that you are good at due to the insecurities of others. Your two options here are either confront them or ignore them. If you ignore them, I'll be honest, it will likely get worse until they get bored. If you confront them, then you should be strategic with how you do it. Ask them directly about why they feel so insecure that they have to belittle you about receiving a good grade. If they don't like the idea of someone having success in the future then they need to work on themselves. It would be more weird than anything if you came to do A levels out of your own free will and purposely decided to do bad, so if you doing good upsets them, then that's their own issue. This is all temporary so don't be discouraged by people who think it's "lame" to be smart or try hard. Their mindsets say a lot about their futures.


thanks! but it rlly extends out of work these ppl have gone through my socials and made fun of everything sbt me to the point i don't feel comfortable in my own skin anynore
Reply 3
Original post by totesnotgrace
thanks! but it rlly extends out of work these ppl have gone through my socials and made fun of everything sbt me to the point i don't feel comfortable in my own skin anynore

At this point they are obsessive and weird. I'm sorry you're going through this but it's very clear that they are jealous of you and deeply insecure about themselves. I would suggest building a strong support network around you while you go through this but definitely don't be discouraged with English A level if you are doing well in it. Maybe talk to your teachers about what's going on to try and resolve the situation?
Original post by bibachu
At this point they are obsessive and weird. I'm sorry you're going through this but it's very clear that they are jealous of you and deeply insecure about themselves. I would suggest building a strong support network around you while you go through this but definitely don't be discouraged with English A level if you are doing well in it. Maybe talk to your teachers about what's going on to try and resolve the situation?


thank u so much lovely <33
Original post by totesnotgrace
thanks! but it rlly extends out of work these ppl have gone through my socials and made fun of everything sbt me to the point i don't feel comfortable in my own skin anynore

it seems that at this point it isnt about english anymore, and more about them being jealous generally, so i think that dropping english wont help, because it will only continue out of the parameters of t he lessons, and you would be giving up a subject that you enjoy and are good at becasue of the faults of others. when you say that your test was passed around class, was that the teachers doing or the class, becasue if it was the teacher, maybe yu could speak to them and explain how its backfiring on you and ask if your work wouldnt be handed around class, and definitely dont share your results with anyone, becasue thats just giving them ammunition.
on the other, more important point that theyre affecting your self confidence; other people's words can hurt so much, and have such an effect. to believe what they say is letting them win. stay away from them as much as possible and surround yourself with people who make you feel good and who appreciate you. 'fake it till you make it'. it really works. it takes time, but keep telling yourself that you are not what they say you are. pity them even - they've stooped so low, they have nothing better in life than to push someone down becasue they are too scared to face their own insecurities. nothing has changed since you started the course with them. think back to times before, to how you viewed yourself before and tell yourself, drill it into your psyche that absolutely nothing in you has changed. you are the same person you were before their taunts.
you have been given a gift, and you are entitled to use it, its how you are and its there for you to use no matter what anyone says. obviously, dont antagonise them. play it down, lay low. maybe dont showcase your abilities as much in front of them, so you are not giving them ammunition. do what you can to downsize their teasing, but only if it doesnt take anything out of you. the minute you start beinding youself backwards for them, stop. because it isnt your problem anymore. its them, and they are going to do and be who they are, regardless of whether you drop english or not. like i said, you dont have to trigger them if you can help it, but dont sacrifice your own pleasures as a result of other peoples inability to appreciate other human beings.
Original post by anonymousquokka
it seems that at this point it isnt about english anymore, and more about them being jealous generally, so i think that dropping english wont help, because it will only continue out of the parameters of t he lessons, and you would be giving up a subject that you enjoy and are good at becasue of the faults of others. when you say that your test was passed around class, was that the teachers doing or the class, becasue if it was the teacher, maybe yu could speak to them and explain how its backfiring on you and ask if your work wouldnt be handed around class, and definitely dont share your results with anyone, becasue thats just giving them ammunition.
on the other, more important point that theyre affecting your self confidence; other people's words can hurt so much, and have such an effect. to believe what they say is letting them win. stay away from them as much as possible and surround yourself with people who make you feel good and who appreciate you. 'fake it till you make it'. it really works. it takes time, but keep telling yourself that you are not what they say you are. pity them even - they've stooped so low, they have nothing better in life than to push someone down becasue they are too scared to face their own insecurities. nothing has changed since you started the course with them. think back to times before, to how you viewed yourself before and tell yourself, drill it into your psyche that absolutely nothing in you has changed. you are the same person you were before their taunts.
you have been given a gift, and you are entitled to use it, its how you are and its there for you to use no matter what anyone says. obviously, dont antagonise them. play it down, lay low. maybe dont showcase your abilities as much in front of them, so you are not giving them ammunition. do what you can to downsize their teasing, but only if it doesnt take anything out of you. the minute you start beinding youself backwards for them, stop. because it isnt your problem anymore. its them, and they are going to do and be who they are, regardless of whether you drop english or not. like i said, you dont have to trigger them if you can help it, but dont sacrifice your own pleasures as a result of other peoples inability to appreciate other human beings.


thank u so much! i think i've accepted my memory i can't control it but it's the otjer stuff they're picking apart. i got bullied as a kid and had sever body dysmoprhia that's only just started to go away and this is undoing all my progress. sometimes i just feel stupid and unwanted because the people around me can't see me as snythibg more thsn a joke. i don't know how to react to it or how to ignore it without seeming foolish
when you say you dont know how to react to them without feeling foolish, think abt this: feeling foolish in front of whom? you know who you really are, why you are ignoring them/ reacting to them the way you are. and if its them that you are feeling foolish before, look at it this way - they are the ones who are making fun of you, they are the ones undoing all of your progress. They are doing what they are doing because of them, not you. It's becasue of their insecurites and issues that they are taking out on you. so changing yourself because of them will make no difference, becuase the problem doesnt really stem from you, they just happen to be targeting you. keep that in mind, because you have to do what you can to protect youself - if ignoring them is what will keep you safe, then ignore them, because they obviously dont care.
dont look at the progress they are undoing. look at the progress you made, the fact that you were able to overcome what you did probably demanded so much strength of character and so much willpower to pull youself out of a rut that not everyone can do. i cant imagine how hard you worked to get to where ou are today. you were bullied as a kid, but you survived. and that was without the maturity that naturally comes from age and life experience. just from those two instances, its obvious that you are so strong and are able to move forward. look at that aspect of things. you cant lose progress if no progress was made. to fall from point A, you had to have made it to point A. try to tap into that, whatever got you through other stuffcan get you through today.
also, letting you know, im not a professional in any way, so maybe it would be worth it to find someone to talk to, a parent, guardian, teacher, menotr, therapist, whoever. someone ur comfortable with, and who makes you feel good. surround yourself with people who get you.
one last thing that ive personally found helpful in boosting confidence in certain areas is this: whenever someone gives you a compliment, listen to it. any compliment. listen to it, internalise it, and think on it. work on accepting it. dont just discard it, you arent being concieted by recognising your strengths. words hurt so much because they have a power, but that can be used both ways. any complimentary words that are said to you, take them, think on them and accept them, let them build up what other words are breaking down.
hope things improve, good luck<<<3
Original post by anonymousquokka
dont look at the progress they are undoing. look at the progress you made, the fact that you were able to overcome what you did probably demanded so much strength of character and so much willpower to pull youself out of a rut that not everyone can do. i cant imagine how hard you worked to get to where ou are today. you were bullied as a kid, but you survived. and that was without the maturity that naturally comes from age and life experience. just from those two instances, its obvious that you are so strong and are able to move forward. look at that aspect of things. you cant lose progress if no progress was made. to fall from point A, you had to have made it to point A. try to tap into that, whatever got you through other stuffcan get you through today.
also, letting you know, im not a professional in any way, so maybe it would be worth it to find someone to talk to, a parent, guardian, teacher, menotr, therapist, whoever. someone ur comfortable with, and who makes you feel good. surround yourself with people who get you.
one last thing that ive personally found helpful in boosting confidence in certain areas is this: whenever someone gives you a compliment, listen to it. any compliment. listen to it, internalise it, and think on it. work on accepting it. dont just discard it, you arent being concieted by recognising your strengths. words hurt so much because they have a power, but that can be used both ways. any complimentary words that are said to you, take them, think on them and accept them, let them build up what other words are breaking down.
hope things improve, good luck<<<3


words can't describe this means a lot!! tysm lovelt
F*ck ’em. Just focus on yourself. If you were to drop out, you’d probably give these people something they want, and they don’t deserve that.

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