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She goes after the guys I'm interested in?

I have a female friend (35) who exhibits concerning behavior when it comes to seeking attention from men I'm interested in or talking to. Despite her claims of being content with her single status, she often inserts herself into conversations or connections with men I'm pursuing, even going as far as adding them on social media platforms like LinkedIn. This behavior makes me uncomfortable and raises questions about her intentions and boundaries. While she presents herself as confident and independent, her actions suggest a deeper insecurity and a need for external validation because she has said multiple times that guys have rejected her and chosen another woman instead of her. Or have only treated her as an FWB and not girlfriend material. Each time she meets a new guy, she posts a lot of pictures and stories to show him but he eventually loses interest.

She has done this twice. First with my ex by constantly saying hello to him, in the hopes that he would talk but he never did and she complained that he doesn't talk

Now she's sent a linkedin request to the one I'm currently talking to and I have a feeling that she checks the telegram only to see if I'm still talking to him (since we only talk oh telegram) . She doesn't even like these guys yet she feels the need to seek attention from the same guys I'm talking to

How can I address this issue with her without damaging our friendship? Or should I cut her off? Because I feel she's the type of woman who will eventually become a homewrecker due to her desperation and I don't want somebody like this around especially if I have a boyfriend.
Reply 1
If the friendship brings you more positives than issues then you might consider mentioning how you feel and try to resolve it. Otherwise knock the friendship on the head. LinkedIn isn’t really a social media platform in the conventional sense
she does not sound like a very trustworthy friend ,you need to stop sharing everything and keep a lot of distance from her
Original post by BlueEyesHypnotiz
I have a female friend (35) who exhibits concerning behavior when it comes to seeking attention from men I'm interested in or talking to. Despite her claims of being content with her single status, she often inserts herself into conversations or connections with men I'm pursuing, even going as far as adding them on social media platforms like LinkedIn. This behavior makes me uncomfortable and raises questions about her intentions and boundaries. While she presents herself as confident and independent, her actions suggest a deeper insecurity and a need for external validation because she has said multiple times that guys have rejected her and chosen another woman instead of her. Or have only treated her as an FWB and not girlfriend material. Each time she meets a new guy, she posts a lot of pictures and stories to show him but he eventually loses interest.
She has done this twice. First with my ex by constantly saying hello to him, in the hopes that he would talk but he never did and she complained that he doesn't talk
Now she's sent a linkedin request to the one I'm currently talking to and I have a feeling that she checks the telegram only to see if I'm still talking to him (since we only talk oh telegram) . She doesn't even like these guys yet she feels the need to seek attention from the same guys I'm talking to
How can I address this issue with her without damaging our friendship? Or should I cut her off? Because I feel she's the type of woman who will eventually become a homewrecker due to her desperation and I don't want somebody like this around especially if I have a boyfriend.


This just sounds like she wants to be friends with them. You're just being paranoid.
Original post by Anonymous
she does not sound like a very trustworthy friend ,you need to stop sharing everything and keep a lot of distance from her

Yeah I noticed that ever since she saw my story of a him in the background she has stopped liking my Instagram replies or posts that I sent to her

If he didn't give her the attention she expected from him - similar to what he was giving me- she wouldn't like it
Original post by Anonymous
This just sounds like she wants to be friends with them. You're just being paranoid.

And why exactly ? The same men I'm talking to ?
She basically oversteps boundaries with colleagues without even being sure if they like her. Starts flirting with them and once she even showed her male colleague who is the EA to the director her holiday bikini pics to attract him towards her while she was still working in the role. After she left the role he had begun to maintain distance from her
This post tends to highlight your own jealousy, insecurity and possessiveness
"Only I'm allowed to speak to this man or speak to him on social media?"

You are putting yourself down here? Do you really feel the men you associate with are so lacking in IQ that they can't see this woman for what she is? Or do you think you will be put in the shade by her overtly flirtatious behaviour? Give the man some credit here to be intelligent and selective? Don't you think they will see through her exaggerated behaviour and run a mile? Or do you think all men are just out for a quick fix?
Original post by Anonymous
This post tends to highlight your own jealousy, insecurity and possessiveness
"Only I'm allowed to speak to this man or speak to him on social media?"
You are putting yourself down here? Do you really feel the men you associate with are so lacking in IQ that they can't see this woman for what she is? Or do you think you will be put in the shade by her overtly flirtatious behaviour? Give the man some credit here to be intelligent and selective? Don't you think they will see through her exaggerated behaviour and run a mile? Or do you think all men are just out for a quick fix?

Most men don't see past getting a quick hit do they ?

I don't like her attitude as it seems like she's backstabbing by trying to impress the same guys I'm talking to
Original post by BlueEyesHypnotiz
Most men don't see past getting a quick hit do they ?

I don't like her attitude as it seems like she's backstabbing by trying to impress the same guys I'm talking to

Why are you allowed to try and impress those men but she isn't?
Original post by Admit-One
Why are you allowed to try and impress those men but she isn't?

Because I'm dating them. Why is she allowed to go after the men I'm with?
Original post by BlueEyesHypnotiz
Because I'm dating them. Why is she allowed to go after the men I'm with?


That's not what you said in your first post, you said "men I'm interested in or talking to".

You mentioned her saying "hello" to your ex which hardly seems like a breach of etiquette.
Original post by Admit-One
That's not what you said in your first post, you said "men I'm interested in or talking to".
You mentioned her saying "hello" to your ex which hardly seems like a breach of etiquette.

I also wrote that she complained to me about him not talking to her beyond hello. This clearly means she wanted to talk to him but he wasn't showing interest.

And yes, I'm talking to these guys and she knows that. He was my bf and the current guy I'm seeing.
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by BlueEyesHypnotiz
And why exactly ? The same men I'm talking to ?


If somebody is your friend it really isn't that unexpected that they would want to at least talk to these people.

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