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Bf’s mom not including me in family events

Hi! I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He has been living with my family and I as we moved abroad for 1.5 years together. We went back to visit family in a different country (where his parents live and my family from my mom’s side lives). His parents didn’t invite me to celebrate his nameday at their house although they knew I was in the country as well.

In my family, we have many different channels to communicate: my father sends emails when an important event is happening in our family and my bf is included in the list, we have a separate group with only my parents, another one with my sisters and brother-in-laws. He is in every group of course.

We only have a group with his parents and his sister on messenger. I was surprised for not having been invited for an event like this as we’ve been dating for a while and our relationship is serious.

I expressed my disappointment in the family group chat and the mother didn’t want to find a solution so that both parties (them and me too) would be happy.

I drove 17 hours with the car 2 days before the event. I am working part-time and I am also a uni student. I have a lot on my plate always. Yet after knowing this, they wanted me to go with my parents’ car, to their place, to the event they “forgot” to invite me to, after having driven 17 hours with my parents to get to the country.

I told them that this is not a viable solution as I am completely exhausted and I would like for my bf to come and pick me up (it’s 1 hour away from his place). The mother said that I’m delusional.

What the heck is going on?

Reply 1

AnonymousGuy333

Original post by Anonymous

Hi! I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He has been living with my family and I as we moved abroad for 1.5 years together. We went back to visit family in a different country (where his parents live and my family from my mom’s side lives). His parents didn’t invite me to celebrate his nameday at their house although they knew I was in the country as well.
In my family, we have many different channels to communicate: my father sends emails when an important event is happening in our family and my bf is included in the list, we have a separate group with only my parents, another one with my sisters and brother-in-laws. He is in every group of course.
We only have a group with his parents and his sister on messenger. I was surprised for not having been invited for an event like this as we’ve been dating for a while and our relationship is serious.
I expressed my disappointment in the family group chat and the mother didn’t want to find a solution so that both parties (them and me too) would be happy.
I drove 17 hours with the car 2 days before the event. I am working part-time and I am also a uni student. I have a lot on my plate always. Yet after knowing this, they wanted me to go with my parents’ car, to their place, to the event they “forgot” to invite me to, after having driven 17 hours with my parents to get to the country.
I told them that this is not a viable solution as I am completely exhausted and I would like for my bf to come and pick me up (it’s 1 hour away from his place). The mother said that I’m delusional.
What the heck is going on?

The mother doesn't sound like a very kind, nice, thoughtful, considerate, understanding or reasonable person, to me.
Maybe even a straight up b!**h.

The bf appears to be quite weak, and maybe a major momma's boy, to the extreme.

I know I would be pretttttty p!s*ed off and upset with my mother if she treated a very serious gf of mine that way,.

Also I would defffffinitely stand up for my gf, and, under the circumstances, more or less demand that my mother apologize to my gf.

And, I would dammmn sure go pick up my gf, despite my mother being so ridiculous.

It's a little dufficult to say more than that, without knowing a lotttttt of very specific and detailed information.

But, just based on what you have said, the general sense I have is that the bf is not enough of a man to put his foot down and assert himself, even when his very serious gf is being mistreated by his mother.

His mother seems very domineering, rude, insensitive, cold, unkind, etc, and I can only presume that the bf will never stand up to his mommy, or stick up for you, even when he damn sure should.

He needs to realize that his precious mommy isn't alllllllways in the right, and that whenever she is clearrrrrly in the wrong -- especcccially with his serious gf, fiance, or wife -- that he needs to grow the f up, grow a pair, be a damn man, and not stand back and just allow his mommy to walk all over and mistreat them.

But, I have a bad feeling that he will always be a little b!cth.
Especially when and where his mommy is concerned.

I just feel like he will behave the same way, just standing back, being quiet, and letting his rude ass, cold b!cth of a mom walk all over you.

Good luck!!!

(edited 11 months ago)