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can someone pls mark this eng lang 2 question 5 for me?

‘Children of school age should not be working at all, they should be focused on their schoolwork and helpful to their parents. Working for money comes later.’ write a speech

Ladies and gentlemen, today we will discuss a topic that is long debated amongst many teenagers and experts: Should children of school age be working? Or should they solely focus on schoolwork and prepare to become educated human beings that will contribute to a change in society? I will discuss why I agree with the former part of the statement.

Firstly, children of school age should not be working at all. They should focus on what’s important during this stage of their life which is not working but rather educating themselves and enjoying themselves with family and friends. If children work during their school age and also later in life, when will they ever get to rest! You might say in the afterlife....but that is a different topic of discussion. One big problem with working during school age is that it could hinder their education, children will feel tired throughout the day and therefore not learn as much as their peers would do this could have tremendous consequences such sleep deprivation, depression and much more. Many young teenagers may feel huge pressure to do good and they would crave for the freedom and abundant time that their classmates are able to experience.

This is why many of us who work should not be working; rather we should be taking advantage of the essence of this stage of life, children should be making memories with their loved ones- forming friendships and learning important life lessons. In this fragile age, children of school age should be protected and cared for not pushed into an environment that will cause them to stress and panic.

However, many parents may say that working leads to children learning responsibilities, growing Independent and being helpful to their parents. But l believe that children should be treated like children especially those of school age, it is not their responsibility to help out their parents financially because it is the parents duty to provide for the child, children can be helpful to their parents in many other ways such as doing chores, looking after siblings or even going grocery shopping, this is a way for them to learn to take responsibilities. Getting a job is not the only way to grow independent because growing independent requires a change in mindset and growth that usually comes with age- not to mention the workplace pressure could add to them developing anxiety or trauma.

Lastly, working should come later in life, when kids have fully developed and secured their knowledge. Online interviews conducted by the debate team in Shelley school found that 76% of parents believe their kids should not be working while the rest allow their children to take up jobs. This emphasises my argument that children of school age should not be working but rather focusing on education and activities that allow them to grow and become healthy and educated adults.
Content (8/10): The speech effectively addresses the topic and presents arguments against children working during school age. It discusses the importance of education, childhood experiences, and the potential negative consequences of working at a young age. The speaker acknowledges opposing viewpoints and counters them with logical reasoning.

Argument and Analysis (7/10): The arguments presented are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. The speech effectively discusses the potential impact of working on education, mental health, and childhood experiences. However, some arguments could be further expanded or clarified for stronger impact.

Use of Persuasive Techniques (7/10): The speaker uses persuasive language and rhetorical questions to engage the audience. They appeal to emotions by highlighting the importance of childhood experiences and the potential negative consequences of working at a young age. However, some persuasive techniques could be used more effectively to strengthen the argument.

Organisation (7/10): The speech is well-organised, with clear transitions between points and a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to the overall coherence of the speech. The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.

Language and Style (8/10): The language is clear, concise, and appropriate for the audience. The speaker demonstrates a good command of vocabulary and employs a formal tone suitable for a speech. However, some sentences could be further refined for clarity and impact.

Overall (37/40): This speech effectively argues against children working during school age, highlighting the importance of education, childhood experiences, and alternative ways for children to learn responsibility and independence. The speaker demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and engages the audience with persuasive language and logical reasoning.

Overall, the speech would receive a high mark based on the GCSE Edexcel marking criteria. It effectively addresses the topic, presents well-developed arguments, and engages the audience with persuasive language and logical reasoning.

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(edited 1 month ago)

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