Should I go on holiday with my uni friends?
Hi guys, I've got a bit of a dilemma.
My friend group at uni have been planning a 10 day holiday in Spain this summer and I've been invited along. One of the guys has an apartment there so accommodation will be free, meaning I'd only have to pay for my flight. This sounds great but I'm dithering about whether I actually want to go or not.
The thing is, while I like the group and enjoy hanging out during term time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with them. This year has been my first at university and honestly, I really struggled at the start which means I joined the friend group late. This, along with some other things, has led me to feel like I don't fit in with them. While I do mostly enjoy their company, I don't necessarily feel like they're 'my people', as cringy as that sounds...
I'm already going on holiday with my family this summer and I really just want to relax at home after a bit of a turbulent academic year.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel left out. I've never had a proper friend group before coming to uni and I know that this is the type of offer I've always longed for in the past. Therefore, it feels stupid to turn it down, I've always been a bit boring and I feel like I should try to make some memories.
But, again, that being said, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of going on holiday with these specific people. I know they will just want to go out drinking and, as anxious sober person, I think I'll probably end up in quite a few situations where I feel uncomfortable. There are also 2 other people in our group who will not be going as they can't make it, so I wouldn't be the only one not there. If the holiday was just a couple days I'd probably accept but the idea of spending over a week with them makes me uneasy.
But what do you think, should I go on holiday with my uni friends or not?
My friend group at uni have been planning a 10 day holiday in Spain this summer and I've been invited along. One of the guys has an apartment there so accommodation will be free, meaning I'd only have to pay for my flight. This sounds great but I'm dithering about whether I actually want to go or not.
The thing is, while I like the group and enjoy hanging out during term time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with them. This year has been my first at university and honestly, I really struggled at the start which means I joined the friend group late. This, along with some other things, has led me to feel like I don't fit in with them. While I do mostly enjoy their company, I don't necessarily feel like they're 'my people', as cringy as that sounds...
I'm already going on holiday with my family this summer and I really just want to relax at home after a bit of a turbulent academic year.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel left out. I've never had a proper friend group before coming to uni and I know that this is the type of offer I've always longed for in the past. Therefore, it feels stupid to turn it down, I've always been a bit boring and I feel like I should try to make some memories.
But, again, that being said, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of going on holiday with these specific people. I know they will just want to go out drinking and, as anxious sober person, I think I'll probably end up in quite a few situations where I feel uncomfortable. There are also 2 other people in our group who will not be going as they can't make it, so I wouldn't be the only one not there. If the holiday was just a couple days I'd probably accept but the idea of spending over a week with them makes me uneasy.
But what do you think, should I go on holiday with my uni friends or not?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi guys, I've got a bit of a dilemma.
My friend group at uni have been planning a 10 day holiday in Spain this summer and I've been invited along. One of the guys has an apartment there so accommodation will be free, meaning I'd only have to pay for my flight. This sounds great but I'm dithering about whether I actually want to go or not.
The thing is, while I like the group and enjoy hanging out during term time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with them. This year has been my first at university and honestly, I really struggled at the start which means I joined the friend group late. This, along with some other things, has led me to feel like I don't fit in with them. While I do mostly enjoy their company, I don't necessarily feel like they're 'my people', as cringy as that sounds...
I'm already going on holiday with my family this summer and I really just want to relax at home after a bit of a turbulent academic year.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel left out. I've never had a proper friend group before coming to uni and I know that this is the type of offer I've always longed for in the past. Therefore, it feels stupid to turn it down, I've always been a bit boring and I feel like I should try to make some memories.
But, again, that being said, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of going on holiday with these specific people. I know they will just want to go out drinking and, as anxious sober person, I think I'll probably end up in quite a few situations where I feel uncomfortable. There are also 2 other people in our group who will not be going as they can't make it, so I wouldn't be the only one not there. If the holiday was just a couple days I'd probably accept but the idea of spending over a week with them makes me uneasy.
But what do you think, should I go on holiday with my uni friends or not?
My friend group at uni have been planning a 10 day holiday in Spain this summer and I've been invited along. One of the guys has an apartment there so accommodation will be free, meaning I'd only have to pay for my flight. This sounds great but I'm dithering about whether I actually want to go or not.
The thing is, while I like the group and enjoy hanging out during term time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with them. This year has been my first at university and honestly, I really struggled at the start which means I joined the friend group late. This, along with some other things, has led me to feel like I don't fit in with them. While I do mostly enjoy their company, I don't necessarily feel like they're 'my people', as cringy as that sounds...
I'm already going on holiday with my family this summer and I really just want to relax at home after a bit of a turbulent academic year.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel left out. I've never had a proper friend group before coming to uni and I know that this is the type of offer I've always longed for in the past. Therefore, it feels stupid to turn it down, I've always been a bit boring and I feel like I should try to make some memories.
But, again, that being said, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of going on holiday with these specific people. I know they will just want to go out drinking and, as anxious sober person, I think I'll probably end up in quite a few situations where I feel uncomfortable. There are also 2 other people in our group who will not be going as they can't make it, so I wouldn't be the only one not there. If the holiday was just a couple days I'd probably accept but the idea of spending over a week with them makes me uneasy.
But what do you think, should I go on holiday with my uni friends or not?
In your position I'd probably go to Spain tbh depending o how interested you are or if theres any sights you want to see. The free accommodation would probably sell me in this economy loads of accommodation abroad seems dead expensive nowadays even the hostels
Are you likely to go to Spain in the near future, if you don't go with your uni friends?
Regarding the drinking /clubbing situation I would probably take time away from the group for that (or stay at the accomm and make the most of the peace and quiet) or go do your own thing.
Although and the end of the day it's your choice though
(edited 9 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hi guys, I've got a bit of a dilemma.
My friend group at uni have been planning a 10 day holiday in Spain this summer and I've been invited along. One of the guys has an apartment there so accommodation will be free, meaning I'd only have to pay for my flight. This sounds great but I'm dithering about whether I actually want to go or not.
The thing is, while I like the group and enjoy hanging out during term time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with them. This year has been my first at university and honestly, I really struggled at the start which means I joined the friend group late. This, along with some other things, has led me to feel like I don't fit in with them. While I do mostly enjoy their company, I don't necessarily feel like they're 'my people', as cringy as that sounds...
I'm already going on holiday with my family this summer and I really just want to relax at home after a bit of a turbulent academic year.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel left out. I've never had a proper friend group before coming to uni and I know that this is the type of offer I've always longed for in the past. Therefore, it feels stupid to turn it down, I've always been a bit boring and I feel like I should try to make some memories.
But, again, that being said, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of going on holiday with these specific people. I know they will just want to go out drinking and, as anxious sober person, I think I'll probably end up in quite a few situations where I feel uncomfortable. There are also 2 other people in our group who will not be going as they can't make it, so I wouldn't be the only one not there. If the holiday was just a couple days I'd probably accept but the idea of spending over a week with them makes me uneasy.
But what do you think, should I go on holiday with my uni friends or not?
My friend group at uni have been planning a 10 day holiday in Spain this summer and I've been invited along. One of the guys has an apartment there so accommodation will be free, meaning I'd only have to pay for my flight. This sounds great but I'm dithering about whether I actually want to go or not.
The thing is, while I like the group and enjoy hanging out during term time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with them. This year has been my first at university and honestly, I really struggled at the start which means I joined the friend group late. This, along with some other things, has led me to feel like I don't fit in with them. While I do mostly enjoy their company, I don't necessarily feel like they're 'my people', as cringy as that sounds...
I'm already going on holiday with my family this summer and I really just want to relax at home after a bit of a turbulent academic year.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel left out. I've never had a proper friend group before coming to uni and I know that this is the type of offer I've always longed for in the past. Therefore, it feels stupid to turn it down, I've always been a bit boring and I feel like I should try to make some memories.
But, again, that being said, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of going on holiday with these specific people. I know they will just want to go out drinking and, as anxious sober person, I think I'll probably end up in quite a few situations where I feel uncomfortable. There are also 2 other people in our group who will not be going as they can't make it, so I wouldn't be the only one not there. If the holiday was just a couple days I'd probably accept but the idea of spending over a week with them makes me uneasy.
But what do you think, should I go on holiday with my uni friends or not?
Anon,
I think you should follow your intuition – it's normally always right!
It's great to have a group of friends who have invited you to share some of the summer with them by going on holiday 😀 but you need to be able to enjoy their company if you want to have a good holiday! There has to be a bit of give and take, especially if you have different things that you want to go and see or do, so that no one ends up feeling resentful.
It is possible you might bond more with hem if you went on holiday as it might be easier to talk and to share, but if you are feeling really apprehensive about it all, then it's better to explain about the family holiday than to find yourself trying to look after several drunk friends and wishing you'd never come! It could be easy for annoyance to become an argument and a falling out!!!
You know yourself best, so if you need to recover from uni and to spend time with family then definitely do this, as this a good time to catch up with family after being away for most of the year or after being too busy studying.
It is important to maintain friendships made at uni during the holidays, so you are not trying to pick them back up after a long break but that doesn't mean you have to go on holiday with your friends. It's just about staying in contact e.g. liking social media posts, a text message here or there, a phone call, or meeting up with some of them late summer.
Maybe you can arrange to catch up with the other two people in the group who are not going away so that you still feel connected to your uni friends, or perhaps after you've all got back from your holidays you can arrange to meet up?
Whatever you do, enjoy your summer!
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous
Hi guys, I've got a bit of a dilemma.
My friend group at uni have been planning a 10 day holiday in Spain this summer and I've been invited along. One of the guys has an apartment there so accommodation will be free, meaning I'd only have to pay for my flight. This sounds great but I'm dithering about whether I actually want to go or not.
The thing is, while I like the group and enjoy hanging out during term time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with them. This year has been my first at university and honestly, I really struggled at the start which means I joined the friend group late. This, along with some other things, has led me to feel like I don't fit in with them. While I do mostly enjoy their company, I don't necessarily feel like they're 'my people', as cringy as that sounds...
I'm already going on holiday with my family this summer and I really just want to relax at home after a bit of a turbulent academic year.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel left out. I've never had a proper friend group before coming to uni and I know that this is the type of offer I've always longed for in the past. Therefore, it feels stupid to turn it down, I've always been a bit boring and I feel like I should try to make some memories.
But, again, that being said, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of going on holiday with these specific people. I know they will just want to go out drinking and, as anxious sober person, I think I'll probably end up in quite a few situations where I feel uncomfortable. There are also 2 other people in our group who will not be going as they can't make it, so I wouldn't be the only one not there. If the holiday was just a couple days I'd probably accept but the idea of spending over a week with them makes me uneasy.
But what do you think, should I go on holiday with my uni friends or not?
My friend group at uni have been planning a 10 day holiday in Spain this summer and I've been invited along. One of the guys has an apartment there so accommodation will be free, meaning I'd only have to pay for my flight. This sounds great but I'm dithering about whether I actually want to go or not.
The thing is, while I like the group and enjoy hanging out during term time, I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to go on holiday with them. This year has been my first at university and honestly, I really struggled at the start which means I joined the friend group late. This, along with some other things, has led me to feel like I don't fit in with them. While I do mostly enjoy their company, I don't necessarily feel like they're 'my people', as cringy as that sounds...
I'm already going on holiday with my family this summer and I really just want to relax at home after a bit of a turbulent academic year.
But at the same time, I don't want to feel left out. I've never had a proper friend group before coming to uni and I know that this is the type of offer I've always longed for in the past. Therefore, it feels stupid to turn it down, I've always been a bit boring and I feel like I should try to make some memories.
But, again, that being said, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of going on holiday with these specific people. I know they will just want to go out drinking and, as anxious sober person, I think I'll probably end up in quite a few situations where I feel uncomfortable. There are also 2 other people in our group who will not be going as they can't make it, so I wouldn't be the only one not there. If the holiday was just a couple days I'd probably accept but the idea of spending over a week with them makes me uneasy.
But what do you think, should I go on holiday with my uni friends or not?
Hi there,
This is really just down to personal preference and what you feel you want to do with your summer!
If you don't feel like going, then it's fine to say you already have plans or are going away with your family! You can always say that you'd like to go another time if they plan something again so that they know you might like to it's just not the right time.
Going on holidays with people can be tricky as you will be spending a lot of time together so you want to make sure that you get on well with them to avoid any arguments or awkwardness. If you don't feel like you are at that level with them yet, then maybe just leave it and try and arrange something next year after you have known them for longer and had longer to get to know everyone properly!
It's also good to have down time to recharge before uni so if this is something that you feel you need then that's okay!
However, if you did want to go, I'm sure you would end up enjoying yourself! You just need to decide how you feel and if you don't want to feel left out, it might be worth going. Is there a possibility you could go for less time? As you are not booking or paying for accommodation, you could go for 5 nights and get an earlier flight home and say that you want to come but can only come for a bit of the time as you have a family holiday? This would allow you to go and have fun with your friends but takes the pressure off a 10 day holiday which can be quite long.
As you have said, you wouldn't be the only one not going which makes it better in terms of feeling left out as you won't be the only one who hasn't gone. At the end of the day you need to do what's best for you and I'm sure your friends would understand either way!
I hope some of this helps!
Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
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