The Student Room Group

ex friend drama

i need to type this all out and get it off my chest because even though it's mostly done with, but i need closure so bad

so last year right before gcses i fell out with 4/5 of my immediate friend group because of a silly argument (OVER THE GCSE POETRY ANTHOLOGY FFS), which i was then scapegoated as the cause of, and called 'agressive'. this whole argument i thought was more of a fun debate over text then one of my friends started calling me stupid and dense which i rightfully called her out for, but i took care to be formal and concise in my language because she was still my friend and i didn't want to say anything i regretted (i literally remember the most harsh thing i said was that she needed to figure out how to communicate better and control her language when shes mad). next day in school i thought the whole thing was done with but that girl came up to me crying right before my lesson in a group of people telling me that the way i texted her reminded her of what her (abusive) dad said to her. i was literally so shocked and appalled that i just nodded like a dumb dog and said sorry and then went into my class. the whole lesson i was internally screaming because the way the situation occurred made me look like a bully and i feel like it has an added racial element because im a physically strong looking black girl and she's a short and skinny white girl and who would believe me as the 'victim' over her.
i try so hard to not be a racial stereotype (especially in school) so for the whole hour of lesson i was spiralling thinking people's whole perception of me is going to change due to some unfair misunderstanding. anyways the situation kind of died down because she stopped crying but i privately told my two closest friends in the group my feelings on the whole situation and as they're POC i thought they would understand but they really wanted to let it go and not cause anymore drama which really upset me especially as one told me to 'just get over it' and i realised that they have very little backbone and would rather let a bigger issue lie unresolved to keep the peace. anyways, i stopped talking to all of them really abrubptly and as a consequence basically just floated friend groups for the rest of yr 11 which made me rlly depressed and upset (still smashed my gcses tho XD)
anyways we're all at the same college for yr 12 now and even though i have an amazing group of new friends who i love to bits and i've kind of re-established civil conversation with one friend i have never willingly spoke to the others because they literally traumatised me and i found out they kept calling me agressive and **** behind my back (literally a microagression!!) and idk if i can ever get closure from this situation because tbh i just want a heartfelt apology from all of them

(tho i will highkey always hate the one who cried in front of everyone about me shes a silly racist b//tch and since i stopped being mates with her realised how utterly intolerable she is)

anyway please give me advice/ opinions on the situation i still genuinely don't believe i was wrong in any way :frown:
you fell out with four friends or that four friends fell out with you over GCSE poetry?
you are not responsible for trauma triggers in others, especially if not communicated beforehand.
can you imagine how the world would work if you were?
i found out they kept calling me agressive and **** behind my back (literally a microagression!!)

this is a micoraggression?
Reply 4
Original post by wanga_wanga
you fell out with four friends or that four friends fell out with you over GCSE poetry?

the first option i guess
Reply 5
Original post by wanga_wanga
i found out they kept calling me agressive and **** behind my back (literally a microagression!!)
this is a micoraggression?

yes i think if you goad a black woman into an agrument then flip the tables and play victim and call her the agressor it's playing into racist sterotypes
Original post by Anonymous
the first option i guess

They're not friends mate
Original post by Anonymous
yes i think if you goad a black woman into an agrument then flip the tables and play victim and call her the agressor it's playing into racist sterotypes

I dont think its micro

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending