The Student Room Group

im too scared of talking to girls

i took me 3 years to ask my crush out and she said no, i have had another crush since i started y12 and barely have spoken to her and now shes with someone

im almost ready to give up on trying to get girls
Reply 1
I will ask you a couple of questions before I give some advice.

Considering this is an anomymous post, do not be rattled or upset with the questions I will ask. Your privacy is protected which is one of the best thing about this forum.

1.

What is your height and weight?

2.

What is your ethnicity?

3.

Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10.

10 being most attractive
5 being average
1 being very unattractive

In regards to the 3 year crush issue, I have to ask for elaboration on the matter.

Asking out your crush without any previous friendships with your crush at all will 99% of the time fail. Logically, why would any woman accept an advancement from a man she doesn't know. Unless you are a 10/10 man (which even in that case is unlikely to be accepted), your chances of success is very very slim.

Now lets entertain the idea that you were/are friends with a crush so much so that you have a deep understanding with each other, then there are 1/3 common grounds that could be the case.

1.

You are not attractive

Now this is the most common one.

I propose that you ask yourself this question. If you were a girl, would you date yourself? Not based by preference or what not, but by purely looks and body. If the answer is yes, and you believe yourself to be of average+ looks and body, then move on the 2nd point.

1.

She doesn't see you romantically.

Providing that you guys are friends, then she probably sees you as just a friend at that moment of time. Views change over time, so this could be different the longer you guys stay friends. But do not take what I am saying as definitive. Move on from the crush.

1.

You are not her type.

This one is self-explanatory. There is nothing you can do in this instance. Just move on.

Now notice how my advice is quite abrupt in the sense of moving on. You must be able to face and accept rejection. Empirically, ~80% of advances are rejected by woman, so the fact that your crush rejected you is not uncommon by any metric. They are many women that will find you attractive, providing you look after yourself and make yourself the best possible version of yourself which is very simple to do. Go to gym, have plans and goals to be successful, take some skin care routines, hair cuts etc.

As for your crush finding someone else, you didn't initiate anything. You even stated that you barely talked to her which indicates that your crush probably doesn't know you very well. Confidence is key and thats what you need to exhibit when looking for girls.

Make sure you answer those 3 questions, will be here to help.
Original post by Detrace
i took me 3 years to ask my crush out and she said no, i have had another crush since i started y12 and barely have spoken to her and now shes with someone
im almost ready to give up on trying to get girls

Something common I've found is that girls prefer to be friends for at least a while before actually persuing something further.
Don't give up and always have hope - you never know what might happen!

Anyhow, I wish you all the best and that things will turn out well for you. Goodluck! :biggrin:
As a girl myself it is true that we like to become friends to get to know each other and see if we like you. But having confidence and being yourself is very important because we like honesty, it makes you more attractive, and increases the possibility that she might develop feelings for you. Just be you and if a girl doesn’t like you it is there loss you are a amazing person they are missing out.
Reply 4
Honestly if someone is not my type I will not love him but you don't have to give up I love someone from 8 years and he don't have any feelings for me so we are in the same boat so do your best and don't give up coz any hard work has a result
Reply 5
Original post by Detrace
i took me 3 years to ask my crush out and she said no, i have had another crush since i started y12 and barely have spoken to her and now shes with someone
im almost ready to give up on trying to get girls

hmu if you wanna chat
I'm sure someone will find yu the way you find themm
Bro I only get with someone or date someone if I’m really close with them why would I want to date someone I barely know like it doesn’t make sense. That’s like kissing a stranger like wtf
Original post by Anonymous
I will ask you a couple of questions before I give some advice.
Considering this is an anomymous post, do not be rattled or upset with the questions I will ask. Your privacy is protected which is one of the best thing about this forum.

1.

What is your height and weight?

2.

What is your ethnicity?

3.

Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10.

10 being most attractive
5 being average
1 being very unattractive
In regards to the 3 year crush issue, I have to ask for elaboration on the matter.
Asking out your crush without any previous friendships with your crush at all will 99% of the time fail. Logically, why would any woman accept an advancement from a man she doesn't know. Unless you are a 10/10 man (which even in that case is unlikely to be accepted), your chances of success is very very slim.
Now lets entertain the idea that you were/are friends with a crush so much so that you have a deep understanding with each other, then there are 1/3 common grounds that could be the case.

1.

You are not attractive

Now this is the most common one.
I propose that you ask yourself this question. If you were a girl, would you date yourself? Not based by preference or what not, but by purely looks and body. If the answer is yes, and you believe yourself to be of average+ looks and body, then move on the 2nd point.

1.

She doesn't see you romantically.

Providing that you guys are friends, then she probably sees you as just a friend at that moment of time. Views change over time, so this could be different the longer you guys stay friends. But do not take what I am saying as definitive. Move on from the crush.

1.

You are not her type.

This one is self-explanatory. There is nothing you can do in this instance. Just move on.
Now notice how my advice is quite abrupt in the sense of moving on. You must be able to face and accept rejection. Empirically, ~80% of advances are rejected by woman, so the fact that your crush rejected you is not uncommon by any metric. They are many women that will find you attractive, providing you look after yourself and make yourself the best possible version of yourself which is very simple to do. Go to gym, have plans and goals to be successful, take some skin care routines, hair cuts etc.
As for your crush finding someone else, you didn't initiate anything. You even stated that you barely talked to her which indicates that your crush probably doesn't know you very well. Confidence is key and thats what you need to exhibit when looking for girls.
Make sure you answer those 3 questions, will be here to help.

I have to say my jaw dropped when reading this. It's probably the coolest and realest comment I've ever seen. And i'm saying this as a straight woman lol.
Reply 9
Original post by Detrace
i took me 3 years to ask my crush out and she said no, i have had another crush since i started y12 and barely have spoken to her and now shes with someone
im almost ready to give up on trying to get girls

erm
you barely tried, now you give up?!

work hard

think smart

dont be an incel

😄👍
Original post by Detrace
i took me 3 years to ask my crush out and she said no, i have had another crush since i started y12 and barely have spoken to her and now shes with someone
im almost ready to give up on trying to get girls
right so you are 16/17 yes? Seeing as you're going into year 12? You haven't even started uni so just relax. Many people don't get into a relationship, its dumb to say you give up. You should give up when your life 25 with no romantic experience lol
Original post by Detrace
i took me 3 years to ask my crush out and she said no, i have had another crush since i started y12 and barely have spoken to her and now shes with someone
im almost ready to give up on trying to get girls

good , give up and lock in. y13 ain't gna be easy son 😉 Plus U always have uni so just be urself and don't do anything with the sole purpose of "trying to get girls" because it's pointless. Focus on urself and loving the people and things around you then the love will come right back.
well sadly, for all time and likely forever, guys are stuck with this role whether they like it or not
Original post by Detrace
i took me 3 years to ask my crush out and she said no, i have had another crush since i started y12 and barely have spoken to her and now shes with someone
im almost ready to give up on trying to get girls

Dude, you'll get someone even better, just because the timing didn't go in your direction doesn't mean that there isn't a girl available or alive to be worth your time. Have patience.

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