New room mate

I am after some advice. I'm a 21 year old female and I live in a mixed sex shared flat, with communal lounge and kitchen area.

At the start of the year we had two males and two females of a similar age in the flat. The other female left and we had a spare room. This week they have moved a 52 year old male student into the spare room.

While I don't have an issue with the individual, I am feeling very insecure in my surroundings and feel that I can't come into the communal areas and have been isolated to my room. We were not consulted by the accommodation.

While I have spoken to them they are saying that if I am uncomfortable then I should be the one to relocate and not the new room mate. I have a great relationship with the other housemates and as I'm in my final months of my course and will graduate hopefully later this year, I don't need the additional stress of moving.

I have spoken with our accommodation who don't seem very supportive...What do you think I should do?

Reply 1

Beast111

Original post by Streety03

I am after some advice. I'm a 21 year old female and I live in a mixed sex shared flat, with communal lounge and kitchen area.
At the start of the year we had two males and two females of a similar age in the flat. The other female left and we had a spare room. This week they have moved a 52 year old male student into the spare room.
While I don't have an issue with the individual, I am feeling very insecure in my surroundings and feel that I can't come into the communal areas and have been isolated to my room. We were not consulted by the accommodation.
While I have spoken to them they are saying that if I am uncomfortable then I should be the one to relocate and not the new room mate. I have a great relationship with the other housemates and as I'm in my final months of my course and will graduate hopefully later this year, I don't need the additional stress of moving.
I have spoken with our accommodation who don't seem very supportive...What do you think I should do?

Damn this is tough haha 😭. Since you said you were in the final months of the course if I were in your shoes I think I would just endure it until the end. He could be a nice dude… maybe?… hopefully haha 😂. But anyways ultimately I think you should do what makes you comfortable and maybe also try speaking with your flatmates as well.

Reply 2

Heriot-Watt Uni

Official Rep

Original post by Streety03

I am after some advice. I'm a 21 year old female and I live in a mixed sex shared flat, with communal lounge and kitchen area.
At the start of the year we had two males and two females of a similar age in the flat. The other female left and we had a spare room. This week they have moved a 52 year old male student into the spare room.
While I don't have an issue with the individual, I am feeling very insecure in my surroundings and feel that I can't come into the communal areas and have been isolated to my room. We were not consulted by the accommodation.
While I have spoken to them they are saying that if I am uncomfortable then I should be the one to relocate and not the new room mate. I have a great relationship with the other housemates and as I'm in my final months of my course and will graduate hopefully later this year, I don't need the additional stress of moving.
I have spoken with our accommodation who don't seem very supportive...What do you think I should do?

Hey there,

You're in a tough spot with the new roommate situation. While it's understandable that you're feeling uneasy about the sudden change, it might be worth trying to talk things out with your friends and even giving the new guy a chance.

Sometimes, people surprise you, and having an open conversation about your feelings could help improve the situation. In my experience, communication is often the best way to address these issues. Keeping an open mind and giving the new roommate a chance could lead to a better living situation for everyone. I had been in the halls with mature students, around 40-50 years old, and I had a good overall experience.
I hope things work out for the best! Try not to stress about this, and please feel free to reach out if you have any specific concerns.

Cheers,
Shri (MSc International Business Student).

Reply 3

Kingston Reps

Official Rep

Original post by Streety03

I am after some advice. I'm a 21 year old female and I live in a mixed sex shared flat, with communal lounge and kitchen area.
At the start of the year we had two males and two females of a similar age in the flat. The other female left and we had a spare room. This week they have moved a 52 year old male student into the spare room.
While I don't have an issue with the individual, I am feeling very insecure in my surroundings and feel that I can't come into the communal areas and have been isolated to my room. We were not consulted by the accommodation.
While I have spoken to them they are saying that if I am uncomfortable then I should be the one to relocate and not the new room mate. I have a great relationship with the other housemates and as I'm in my final months of my course and will graduate hopefully later this year, I don't need the additional stress of moving.
I have spoken with our accommodation who don't seem very supportive...What do you think I should do?

Hey @Streety03!

I'm sorry to hear about your roommate situation: new roommates can sometimes be difficult to adapt to at the best of times, nevermind when you're so used to your other roommates and are nearing graduation.

You mentioned that you tried speaking to your accommodation who don't seem that supportive, which is unfortunate but understandable: they likely can't take the case much further as the individual themselves doesn't seem to have done anything wrong/out of the ordinary.

Have you tried getting in contact with your university's well-being team to discuss the situation? Although they might not be able to help you directly in regards to your accommodation itself, they should be able to talk you through how you're feeling and offer some strategies on how to approach your relationship with your new roommate.

Hope it all works out,
Eve (Kingston Rep).