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How do I deal with my horrid parents?

Hello everyone! I have to ask you all something: how do I deal with this? My parents are Chinese and moved to the USA when I was two. My father and maternal grandmother are full blown communists and supporters of authoritarianism and the Chinese Communist Party. My dad is a rich guy who owns this huge construction company in China who is filthy rich, he has half a dozen mansions and expensive properties and stuff. He usually stays at China, abusing his workers for maximum money. When I was nine, I was just playing around and poured a bit of honey into the bathtub, a basic bit of mischief that most kids engage in time to time. A “normal kind parent” would tell a kid like this that it was wrong, maybe get them to clean up the little mess. But my father? He beat me with sticks, slippers, and his hands until me and my little brother were black and blue. He is also an alcoholic and a narcissist. He would regain our trust by giving us toys and money, but remember, he has enough money to buy half a dozen mansions! To him, hundreds of dollars is just pocket change. And then he would just continue to abuse us, he would yell at us for hours on end, beat us with sticks, and lock us in the vermin infested basement for hours at a time, a true monster of a man. And that is why I am one of the few people who are grateful and happy about COVID-19. It kept dad in China, thousands of miles away, so he could not beat us up for not getting a hundred on a test or not cleaning up the toys. My mom supported him this entire time and still yells nasty stuff at 14 year old me to this day. And now we get to my current situation. As is completely understandable for a teenage boy in my situation, I hate my parents. And they hate me even more. And although my mom is better than my dad, she is still far less nice than my classmates’ parents. She doesn’t want any relationships until college either. I’m definitely not telling her this, but I’m crushing on a shy girl in my English class who is the smartest student in the entire school. I’m a bit of a nerd myself, I am interested and very knowledgeable in the sciences. My parents are fine with me pursuing a career as a scientist, as it is a typical “successful” path. I have always felt angry and resentful towards my parents, but now that they are inadvertently stopping me from shooting my shot at my first love, I hate them even more, I behave very well at school, but purposefully act immature and badly at home as my own way of rebelling against them. My grandmother still believes that the Great Leap Forward was a great thing, that Stalin was a great leader, and that the horrid CCP is a great government, even as it builds concentration camps and deports millions of Muslims there to be tortured and held in stress positions for hours at a time, and mom still thinks that Russia is justified in invading Ukraine, and believes that China is justified in invading Taiwan, it is monstrous. And I can’t help but hate them every single day. Please respond with recommendations on how to deal with my current situation.
Original post by Superbug2768
Hello everyone! I have to ask you all something: how do I deal with this? My parents are Chinese and moved to the USA when I was two. My father and maternal grandmother are full blown communists and supporters of authoritarianism and the Chinese Communist Party. My dad is a rich guy who owns this huge construction company in China who is filthy rich, he has half a dozen mansions and expensive properties and stuff. He usually stays at China, abusing his workers for maximum money. When I was nine, I was just playing around and poured a bit of honey into the bathtub, a basic bit of mischief that most kids engage in time to time. A “normal kind parent” would tell a kid like this that it was wrong, maybe get them to clean up the little mess. But my father? He beat me with sticks, slippers, and his hands until me and my little brother were black and blue. He is also an alcoholic and a narcissist. He would regain our trust by giving us toys and money, but remember, he has enough money to buy half a dozen mansions! To him, hundreds of dollars is just pocket change. And then he would just continue to abuse us, he would yell at us for hours on end, beat us with sticks, and lock us in the vermin infested basement for hours at a time, a true monster of a man. And that is why I am one of the few people who are grateful and happy about COVID-19. It kept dad in China, thousands of miles away, so he could not beat us up for not getting a hundred on a test or not cleaning up the toys. My mom supported him this entire time and still yells nasty stuff at 14 year old me to this day. And now we get to my current situation. As is completely understandable for a teenage boy in my situation, I hate my parents. And they hate me even more. And although my mom is better than my dad, she is still far less nice than my classmates’ parents. She doesn’t want any relationships until college either. I’m definitely not telling her this, but I’m crushing on a shy girl in my English class who is the smartest student in the entire school. I’m a bit of a nerd myself, I am interested and very knowledgeable in the sciences. My parents are fine with me pursuing a career as a scientist, as it is a typical “successful” path. I have always felt angry and resentful towards my parents, but now that they are inadvertently stopping me from shooting my shot at my first love, I hate them even more, I behave very well at school, but purposefully act immature and badly at home as my own way of rebelling against them. My grandmother still believes that the Great Leap Forward was a great thing, that Stalin was a great leader, and that the horrid CCP is a great government, even as it builds concentration camps and deports millions of Muslims there to be tortured and held in stress positions for hours at a time, and mom still thinks that Russia is justified in invading Ukraine, and believes that China is justified in invading Taiwan, it is monstrous. And I can’t help but hate them every single day. Please respond with recommendations on how to deal with my current situation.

Hi Superbug2768,

I'm so sorry to hear about your plight, it sounds like you've had a really rough ride. Beating a child, in whatever shape or form, is totally unacceptable, and many countries have now made it illegal.
There must be some powerful ideological challenges too going on in your family, with such diverse political opinions.
It is good, however, that you're asking for help here, and that you sound as though you have some pretty good insight into what's going on.

You are currently in an academic setting; I would strongly suggest that you seek someone out from amongst the senior staff members for support. A person to whom you feel you can 'spill the beans' and is experienced would be best, but I would advise you to be clear on what they can offer you in terms of confidentiality at the start of the discussion. Be careful about the language that you choose, I nearly didn't read this post because the opener hinted that you might be a bit 'entitled', and be mindful that any sound listener will be obliged to reflect on the fact that stories do have more then one side.

Nonetheless, it very much sounds like you need and deserve some care and support and I would urge you to reach out to somebody in close proximity who can give you direct help.

Best wishes,

S.C.
Original post by Superbug2768
Hello everyone! I have to ask you all something: how do I deal with this? My parents are Chinese and moved to the USA when I was two. My father and maternal grandmother are full blown communists and supporters of authoritarianism and the Chinese Communist Party. My dad is a rich guy who owns this huge construction company in China who is filthy rich, he has half a dozen mansions and expensive properties and stuff. He usually stays at China, abusing his workers for maximum money. When I was nine, I was just playing around and poured a bit of honey into the bathtub, a basic bit of mischief that most kids engage in time to time. A “normal kind parent” would tell a kid like this that it was wrong, maybe get them to clean up the little mess. But my father? He beat me with sticks, slippers, and his hands until me and my little brother were black and blue. He is also an alcoholic and a narcissist. He would regain our trust by giving us toys and money, but remember, he has enough money to buy half a dozen mansions! To him, hundreds of dollars is just pocket change. And then he would just continue to abuse us, he would yell at us for hours on end, beat us with sticks, and lock us in the vermin infested basement for hours at a time, a true monster of a man. And that is why I am one of the few people who are grateful and happy about COVID-19. It kept dad in China, thousands of miles away, so he could not beat us up for not getting a hundred on a test or not cleaning up the toys. My mom supported him this entire time and still yells nasty stuff at 14 year old me to this day. And now we get to my current situation. As is completely understandable for a teenage boy in my situation, I hate my parents. And they hate me even more. And although my mom is better than my dad, she is still far less nice than my classmates’ parents. She doesn’t want any relationships until college either. I’m definitely not telling her this, but I’m crushing on a shy girl in my English class who is the smartest student in the entire school. I’m a bit of a nerd myself, I am interested and very knowledgeable in the sciences. My parents are fine with me pursuing a career as a scientist, as it is a typical “successful” path. I have always felt angry and resentful towards my parents, but now that they are inadvertently stopping me from shooting my shot at my first love, I hate them even more, I behave very well at school, but purposefully act immature and badly at home as my own way of rebelling against them. My grandmother still believes that the Great Leap Forward was a great thing, that Stalin was a great leader, and that the horrid CCP is a great government, even as it builds concentration camps and deports millions of Muslims there to be tortured and held in stress positions for hours at a time, and mom still thinks that Russia is justified in invading Ukraine, and believes that China is justified in invading Taiwan, it is monstrous. And I can’t help but hate them every single day. Please respond with recommendations on how to deal with my current situation.

hi superbug2768 i understand how you feel I'm i live in the united states my hole life if they are beating you that is illegal they can get arrested for hitting you it doesn't matter if there rich you can't get out of trouble and can get in more trouble if they try to bribe a cop if you have bruises on your body you can tell an adult about it you then will go in to foster care where other family's will care for you

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