My mum wants me to buy us a house
So Im going to start my graduate job and my mums plan has always been to buy a house with me. That means my name will be on it, so just my income, because my mum owns a flat and wont be eligible.
She said she will help with payments and possibly the some of the down payment too. Her dream is to have a house with a garden. I have agreed to this when I was younger, but when I really think about it there are some cons:
- my first time buyer will be used
- what if I want to buy a house with my future partner?
- I have to live with my mum FOREVER
- lack of independence
- It will feel like its not actually my home, the extra support I will receive will make her feel entitled to the home too (although not on paper)
ofc my mum has done a lot for me, but when I think of the future and the desire to have something of my own and thinking if I want to grow a family, it concerns me. How do I even break the news to her?
The clear pros is I will most likely secure a lovely home and with support for the extra costs and mortgage payments.
What should I do?
She said she will help with payments and possibly the some of the down payment too. Her dream is to have a house with a garden. I have agreed to this when I was younger, but when I really think about it there are some cons:
- my first time buyer will be used
- what if I want to buy a house with my future partner?
- I have to live with my mum FOREVER
- lack of independence
- It will feel like its not actually my home, the extra support I will receive will make her feel entitled to the home too (although not on paper)
ofc my mum has done a lot for me, but when I think of the future and the desire to have something of my own and thinking if I want to grow a family, it concerns me. How do I even break the news to her?
The clear pros is I will most likely secure a lovely home and with support for the extra costs and mortgage payments.
What should I do?
Reply 1
On the plus side, as she already has her own place now, she isn't in housing need.
As a wider perspective, many parents gift their children money as a deposit on a house without any conditions whatsoever. It wouldn't even occur to them to assume they could expect a lifetime free tenancy.
Do you come from a culture of multi generational living or living with parents all their life?
As a wider perspective, many parents gift their children money as a deposit on a house without any conditions whatsoever. It wouldn't even occur to them to assume they could expect a lifetime free tenancy.
Do you come from a culture of multi generational living or living with parents all their life?
Reply 2
You do not have to live with your mother forever.
You will be able to rent the property out or sell it if you decide to move elsewhere with a future partner.
The main questions to ask are: can your mother afford to buy you a house with a garden or gift you enough cash for a deposit and to cover the majority of the property purchase price.
If so, if your mother lives for at least 7 years after buying you the property held in your name and your mother has never lived in it you will be exempt from capital gains tax.
I've gone no contact with all my surviving ancestors, parents and maternal grandmother.
Only way for me to own a mortgage free property is to earn enough to cover the deposit, purchase price and all extra fees.
I'm happily single & know that I won't be inheriting any assets and will never live with another adult again.
You will be able to rent the property out or sell it if you decide to move elsewhere with a future partner.
The main questions to ask are: can your mother afford to buy you a house with a garden or gift you enough cash for a deposit and to cover the majority of the property purchase price.
If so, if your mother lives for at least 7 years after buying you the property held in your name and your mother has never lived in it you will be exempt from capital gains tax.
I've gone no contact with all my surviving ancestors, parents and maternal grandmother.
Only way for me to own a mortgage free property is to earn enough to cover the deposit, purchase price and all extra fees.
I'm happily single & know that I won't be inheriting any assets and will never live with another adult again.
Reply 3
21
If she's offering you money for a house that will be in your name then you can ignore the downsides. Legally, the property would be yours to sell should you get a partner and wish to purchase a new property with them. Alternatively, you would just let your mother purchase a share of the house and as such you can sell your stake at will and she'd still live there with whoever bought it.
Reply 4
Just don’t let her buy it then try hand it over to you because there will be no end of capital gains taxes to pay
Reply 5
Original post by Rakas21
If she's offering you money for a house that will be in your name then you can ignore the downsides. Legally, the property would be yours to sell should you get a partner and wish to purchase a new property with them. Alternatively, you would just let your mother purchase a share of the house and as such you can sell your stake at will and she'd still live there with whoever bought it.
They have listed at least 4 possible downsides to this arrangement which will exist regardless of whether the mother is on or off the deeds.
It sounds like it's the mother's dream but the adult child's potential nightmare.
At the end of the day, the mother may invest a small sum into the property, live rent free there, possibly taking up the bedroom of a future grandchild, and profit from renting out their own place. They may benefit greatly while the OP deals with all the risks and isdurs.
Reply 6
6
Original post by Anonymous
On the plus side, as she already has her own place now, she isn't in housing need.
As a wider perspective, many parents gift their children money as a deposit on a house without any conditions whatsoever. It wouldn't even occur to them to assume they could expect a lifetime free tenancy.
Do you come from a culture of multi generational living or living with parents all their life?
As a wider perspective, many parents gift their children money as a deposit on a house without any conditions whatsoever. It wouldn't even occur to them to assume they could expect a lifetime free tenancy.
Do you come from a culture of multi generational living or living with parents all their life?
Yes, back home this is what happens. In our culture we do not believe in care homes but to care for your parents till their last breath (ofc I will). It sounds lovely, im my mum only child basically so there a lot of pros but we dont have the perfect relationship and im quite young what if i want people round... its tricky i feel a little selfish
Reply 7
6
My mum is willing to rent out her flat to cover for the mortgage and then when she retires that flat will be her retirement income - then this will make her feel like its her home, I will never take legal action against her, potentially I could build a room above with her own living space and kitchen?
Reply 8
6
Original post by londonmyst
You do not have to live with your mother forever.
You will be able to rent the property out or sell it if you decide to move elsewhere with a future partner.
The main questions to ask are: can your mother afford to buy you a house with a garden or gift you enough cash for a deposit and to cover the majority of the property purchase price.
If so, if your mother lives for at least 7 years after buying you the property held in your name and your mother has never lived in it you will be exempt from capital gains tax.
I've gone no contact with all my surviving ancestors, parents and maternal grandmother.
Only way for me to own a mortgage free property is to earn enough to cover the deposit, purchase price and all extra fees.
I'm happily single & know that I won't be inheriting any assets and will never live with another adult again.
You will be able to rent the property out or sell it if you decide to move elsewhere with a future partner.
The main questions to ask are: can your mother afford to buy you a house with a garden or gift you enough cash for a deposit and to cover the majority of the property purchase price.
If so, if your mother lives for at least 7 years after buying you the property held in your name and your mother has never lived in it you will be exempt from capital gains tax.
I've gone no contact with all my surviving ancestors, parents and maternal grandmother.
Only way for me to own a mortgage free property is to earn enough to cover the deposit, purchase price and all extra fees.
I'm happily single & know that I won't be inheriting any assets and will never live with another adult again.
yes she can, she can cover more than half the down payment, really thinking about it I would put the whole down payment myself and she can contribute to the rennovation - just because it is my home and I want her to know that I can do what I want with the place, whether that is bringing friends round, going out when I can becuase im not under my parents roof. Also there is always the opportunity to build her an extension in the place for her to stay so if I do have a family she will have her own space. Its just tricky domestically if I was to have fights with my husband or stuff I dont want my mum to see. Shes a single parent so I need to look after her as the only child.
Reply 9
6
Original post by Little pecker
Just don’t let her buy it then try hand it over to you because there will be no end of capital gains taxes to pay
she never has those intentions - thank you for he advice!
Reply 10
You may not necessarily be able to carve up a property into two different apartments by installing an additional kitchen - planning permission is required and is hard to get when it comes to trying to split a house into mini flats.
Despite this planned renovation to separate your households, you may find she expects to come into your space regularly. Is your mum onboard with this granny annexe idea?
Has she considered the risks of renting out her property? Not getting permission from the lende, tenant not paying rent or trashing it, the cost of maintenance and replacing windows, boilers, etc?
It still sounds like she will get more out of this arrangement than you, a cheap new place plus income from her other property.
Why doesn't she, sell her flat so you can buy a place that is the right size and layout for you both from the start. She can pay rent/ bills with her employment income and then with her pension.
Despite this planned renovation to separate your households, you may find she expects to come into your space regularly. Is your mum onboard with this granny annexe idea?
Has she considered the risks of renting out her property? Not getting permission from the lende, tenant not paying rent or trashing it, the cost of maintenance and replacing windows, boilers, etc?
It still sounds like she will get more out of this arrangement than you, a cheap new place plus income from her other property.
Why doesn't she, sell her flat so you can buy a place that is the right size and layout for you both from the start. She can pay rent/ bills with her employment income and then with her pension.
Reply 11
Original post by Sillyme200
So Im going to start my graduate job and my mums plan has always been to buy a house with me. That means my name will be on it, so just my income, because my mum owns a flat and wont be eligible.
She said she will help with payments and possibly the some of the down payment too. Her dream is to have a house with a garden. I have agreed to this when I was younger, but when I really think about it there are some cons:
- my first time buyer will be used
- what if I want to buy a house with my future partner?
- I have to live with my mum FOREVER
- lack of independence
- It will feel like its not actually my home, the extra support I will receive will make her feel entitled to the home too (although not on paper)
ofc my mum has done a lot for me, but when I think of the future and the desire to have something of my own and thinking if I want to grow a family, it concerns me. How do I even break the news to her?
The clear pros is I will most likely secure a lovely home and with support for the extra costs and mortgage payments.
What should I do?
She said she will help with payments and possibly the some of the down payment too. Her dream is to have a house with a garden. I have agreed to this when I was younger, but when I really think about it there are some cons:
- my first time buyer will be used
- what if I want to buy a house with my future partner?
- I have to live with my mum FOREVER
- lack of independence
- It will feel like its not actually my home, the extra support I will receive will make her feel entitled to the home too (although not on paper)
ofc my mum has done a lot for me, but when I think of the future and the desire to have something of my own and thinking if I want to grow a family, it concerns me. How do I even break the news to her?
The clear pros is I will most likely secure a lovely home and with support for the extra costs and mortgage payments.
What should I do?
If your mum is going to be buying this house with you, you need to check on whether you will have to pay the increased stamp duty tax which is payable of someone already owns a property and then buys another. ( Your mum.)Whatever you do any property you buy needs to be only in your name because you might want to move or buy a property with a partner at which point you will need to sell the house that you live in.
Reply 12
If you wait to buy a house with a future husband, he may offer more money towards the deposit and you may get a bigger home. You are a woman, surely your mum can live with other relatives? In some cultures where we look after our elders, the girl moves into her husband's home with his family.
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