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Any advice on how to improve my Q2 language answer? (English Language Paper 1)

The writer conveys Mr Fisher’s views on books and stories of his past through linguistic techniques which emphasise the playful imaginations of children.
He describes the experience of reading back when stories “ran like gazelles, pounced like tigers and exploded like rockets”. By comparing these stories to “rockets”, “tigers” and “gazelles” it reflects the dynamic and lively nature of the stories and how avidly he read them.
Alternatively, the verbs “ran”, ”pounced” and “exploded” may suggest that reading acted as a way to escape reality and explore when he was younger.
The writer also continues with short, repetitive sentences throughout when Mr Fisher recalls “there were heroes; there were dragons… there were space adventures” - This alters the pace of the extract giving it an excitable tone which highlights Mr Fisher’s genuine enthusiasm as he reminisces about books and stories of the past.

(/8)
Thank you :smile:
(edited 1 month ago)
Reply 1
Original post by Grace Hurst
The writer conveys Mr Fisher’s views on books and stories of his past through linguistic techniques which emphasise the playful imaginations of children.
He describes the experience of reading back when stories “ran like gazelles, pounced like tigers and exploded like rockets”. By comparing these stories to “rockets”, “tigers” and “gazelles” it reflects the dynamic and lively nature of the stories and how avidly he read them.
Alternatively, the verbs “ran”, ”pounced” and “exploded” may suggest that reading acted as a way to escape reality and explore when he was younger.
The writer also continues with short, repetitive sentences throughout when Mr Fisher recalls “there were heroes; there were dragons… there were space adventures” - This alters the pace of the extract giving it an excitable tone which highlights Mr Fisher’s genuine enthusiasm as he reminisces about books and stories of the past.
(/8)
Thank you :smile:

Hi there!

You have your basics down so far which is good. To make it better I would put it more into a certain structure e.g. PEEL paragraph and add more information on why and how the writer has used clear language to convey Mr fishers views on books & stories of the past and how this may impact the reader E.g below

P(oint) - It is evident the writer has used clear & effective lang to convey Mr fishers views on books/stories etc.
E(vidence) - "ran like gazelles, pounced like tigers & exploded like rockets"
E(xplain) - "ran like gazelles": simile, "ran, pounced, exploded": dynamic verbs. metaphorically conveying that not only were there many fast-paced stories but also that they ambushed the imagination so that the reader was totally immersed in the words on the page. Shows Mr fisher believes not only did stories of the past captivate him, but allowed him to become emotionally attached with the stories
L(ink) - hence clear language being shown to identify mr fishers views on books in the past as positive

This is obviously a brief plan but having a clear structure and linking to WHY the writer decided to write it a certain way really helps gain high marks

Also remember to add in sentence forms e.g. "when books were golden, when imaginations soared, when the world was filled with stories which ran like gazelles and pounced like tigers and exploded like rockets, illuminating minds and hearts."
E(xplain) The use of anaphora "when" serves to emphasise a sense of nostalgia and longing Mr Fisher misses. The writer creates a rhythmic structure that highlights a yearning time for when books were valued, imaginations were vibrant, and stories were powerful. This illustrates Mr Fishers passion and enjoyment for books in the past when reading, almost reminiscing his thoughts and feelings... etc.
Other sentence forms can be simple sentence, declarative sentence, interrogative sentence, compound sentence etc
I had done this and had went from a 4/8 to 7/8!
Hope this helps, any questions lmk :smile:
Much appreciated :biggrin:

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