The Student Room Group

Why do I feel like I’ll never move on

I’ve not been with my last partner for almost a year and a half now and hes been able to see multiple people since. I’ve struggled, i’ve tried, but mo ones been for me I suddenly get a realisation and think what am I doing these people aren’t nothing like what i’d aspire to have as a person.

My mum keeps pushing me as well she thinks i’m going to be lonely for life. It would be nice but I’m also scared, I’m over my ex but still miss being with someone as he was so loving and caring until suddenly he cheated, yet he still got me an expensive Christmas gift which made no sense, we were broken up about a month at that point? I’ve been scared to let myself attach to someone ever since, worried they’ll be like that. And besides this, everyone i’ve liked in that way since it’s only been upto a month where my mindset has swapped and i’ve been like woah this person is not for me, and get some sort of massive ick.

My first relationship I was 14, It lasted a year and even though it was a bumpy end, I got over it as I was young, naive and knew it was bound to happen. This man I thought I truly connected with and never expected him to change up so quick, he even waited back a year for me as I chose to do an extra year at college and he wanted to do that for my sake to support me.

I don’t get upset or angry seeing him with new people anymore, I don’t long for him back, but I don’t get why the idea of a relationship is now so daunting, I truly can’t see myself with someone for a really long time. And I know, everyone says you’ll find someone eventually, but I don’t think I’m like that. I keep people on the surface until I think they truly care as i’ve always had trust issues. I let myself deeply connect to him and then he spat it right back at me. I don’t want to have had multiple partners, I really thought he was the one for me at the time and I can’t see myself finding someone else who will resemble the feelings i’ve had for him.

This is kind of a ramble, but I just need some advice that isn’t just a ‘you’ll find someone eventually!!’ comment. I really don’t understand what’s wrong with me, and the fact he was able to switch up so fast on me and then move on so quick. He even antagonised me for months after the breakup while being with someone else at the time by even doing childish stuff like throwing paper at me it was pathetic.

Hes turning 20 and Ill be 19 soon if this comes into play.
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve not been with my last partner for almost a year and a half now and hes been able to see multiple people since. I’ve struggled, i’ve tried, but mo ones been for me I suddenly get a realisation and think what am I doing these people aren’t nothing like what i’d aspire to have as a person.
My mum keeps pushing me as well she thinks i’m going to be lonely for life. It would be nice but I’m also scared, I’m over my ex but still miss being with someone as he was so loving and caring until suddenly he cheated, yet he still got me an expensive Christmas gift which made no sense, we were broken up about a month at that point? I’ve been scared to let myself attach to someone ever since, worried they’ll be like that. And besides this, everyone i’ve liked in that way since it’s only been upto a month where my mindset has swapped and i’ve been like woah this person is not for me, and get some sort of massive ick.
My first relationship I was 14, It lasted a year and even though it was a bumpy end, I got over it as I was young, naive and knew it was bound to happen. This man I thought I truly connected with and never expected him to change up so quick, he even waited back a year for me as I chose to do an extra year at college and he wanted to do that for my sake to support me.
I don’t get upset or angry seeing him with new people anymore, I don’t long for him back, but I don’t get why the idea of a relationship is now so daunting, I truly can’t see myself with someone for a really long time. And I know, everyone says you’ll find someone eventually, but I don’t think I’m like that. I keep people on the surface until I think they truly care as i’ve always had trust issues. I let myself deeply connect to him and then he spat it right back at me. I don’t want to have had multiple partners, I really thought he was the one for me at the time and I can’t see myself finding someone else who will resemble the feelings i’ve had for him.
This is kind of a ramble, but I just need some advice that isn’t just a ‘you’ll find someone eventually!!’ comment. I really don’t understand what’s wrong with me, and the fact he was able to switch up so fast on me and then move on so quick. He even antagonised me for months after the breakup while being with someone else at the time by even doing childish stuff like throwing paper at me it was pathetic.
Hes turning 20 and Ill be 19 soon if this comes into play.

You’re definitely not alone and it’s normal to feel these emotions!

Special experiences like these are hard to forget and hold a precious place in our hearts.
The hardest part is letting go, accepting the change. Change is normal and will occur either earlier or later - it’s inevitable. Change can look bad, horrendous even; yet there will always be a positive side to things. No matter what, you’ll find another ray of happiness once again.

In all honesty, you both have been through a lot together - yet I he seems insensitive and careless, easily forgetful of the times you’ve had together. So I advise to move past or remain as friends (until the opportunity comes).

I’m sorry you feel this way and I hope things go better for both you and him.
I wish you all the best! :smile:

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