The Student Room Group

I think I’m decently pretty but I don’t get asked out …

I’m 17 and female. I’m quite tall for my age - 5’10 - and I have brown skin (I’m Indian) Only in the past year, have I thought that I’m actually pretty and I feel pretty especially when I have make up on.
Tbh I have no social life whatsoever because my parents are strict so I go to no parties and I don’t go out EVER. I think the last time I went out for fun was last year in April.
But I’m also a really big nerd and I’m an extreme try hard so I spend most of my free periods at sixth form with my headphones blaring music and I’m just studying while my friends are messing around.
I’ve been asked out a few times by guys of my culture and tbh I’ve been asked out by 2 white guys too. I didn’t go out with any of them as my priority is my school education and getting good alevels.
But last year, one guy made up a rumour stating how I only date white guys, which isn’t true.
Whenever I’m walking people seem to always stare at me but idk.
Sometimes I feel extremely confident, but sometimes I feel like this feeling isn’t true and that I’m not pretty and I’m just getting stared at in a weird manner lol.
But I do feel pretty in my own body a lot of the time.
I do wonder if it is because I’m tall, I’m brown, my head is always in books, I only hang around with 2 people at school that I don’t feel pretty.
But I hope at uni I feel better.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m 17 and female. I’m quite tall for my age - 5’10 - and I have brown skin (I’m Indian) Only in the past year, have I thought that I’m actually pretty and I feel pretty especially when I have make up on.
Tbh I have no social life whatsoever because my parents are strict so I go to no parties and I don’t go out EVER. I think the last time I went out for fun was last year in April.
But I’m also a really big nerd and I’m an extreme try hard so I spend most of my free periods at sixth form with my headphones blaring music and I’m just studying while my friends are messing around.
I’ve been asked out a few times by guys of my culture and tbh I’ve been asked out by 2 white guys too. I didn’t go out with any of them as my priority is my school education and getting good alevels.
But last year, one guy made up a rumour stating how I only date white guys, which isn’t true.
Whenever I’m walking people seem to always stare at me but idk.
Sometimes I feel extremely confident, but sometimes I feel like this feeling isn’t true and that I’m not pretty and I’m just getting stared at in a weird manner lol.
But I do feel pretty in my own body a lot of the time.
I do wonder if it is because I’m tall, I’m brown, my head is always in books, I only hang around with 2 people at school that I don’t feel pretty.
But I hope at uni I feel better.

you are 100% pretty so matter what so do not doubt that- i feel as if in high school you are in such a bubble of people you grew up with and everyone is pretty much from the same area so its the same faces every day and also there is the fear of standing out so everyone dresses the same etc. Due to this many people tend to not really look at people they have grown up with in a romantic way but that says nothing about you that is just how nature runs its course yk. But at uni there are all different types of people and its where most people find themselfs and find people like them new people also tends to lead to new romance. Also from the sounds of things you are very intelligent and some people are scared by that, you probably arent getting as asked out as much as you would hope due to how you have rejected the last few guys which may make people think there is no point especially if you dont go out and are really dedicated to your studies they may view you as closed off (nothing wrong with that, tbh probs for the best, romance will always be there). There are days where everyone feels pretty and some days they dont thats unfortunately just life but trust me you are gorg i can tell x
It doesn't sound like a physical thing, as you say you have been asked at least 4 times. But you're making it clear your prioriry is studying before dating or even friends and you don't really go out beyond school if I'm reading it right. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but how involved and desired in the dating game can you be expecting if your priorities are obv elsewhere and you don't actively want to be dating? Expecting people to admire you from afar without putting yourself out there has v limited mileage.
Reply 3
You don't get asked out, but "I’ve been asked out a few times by guys of my culture and tbh I’ve been asked out by 2 white guys too." So why the title question?

You're barely old enough to be dating, but what's your motivation for doing so when your priority is quite rightly, your education; because other people are? If you want qualifications, don't expect things on the dating scene to change drastically when you go to uni. Get your degree, make friends, join societies, build your CV. There's no time-limit to date or get into a relationship.
Reply 4
Original post by StriderHort
It doesn't sound like a physical thing, as you say you have been asked at least 4 times. But you're making it clear your prioriry is studying before dating or even friends and you don't really go out beyond school if I'm reading it right. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but how involved and desired in the dating game can you be expecting if your priorities are obv elsewhere and you don't actively want to be dating? Expecting people to admire you from afar without putting yourself out there has v limited mileage.

I know you’re right.
My priorities aren’t dating right now.
It’s just my friends who have zero interest in education and their alevels seem to always be talking about guys who have hit them up and their boyfriends and it makes me feel a bit excluded. Tbh these friends go clubbing every week but yeah I just sometimes feel excluded
Reply 5
Original post by Surnia
You don't get asked out, but "I’ve been asked out a few times by guys of my culture and tbh I’ve been asked out by 2 white guys too." So why the title question?
You're barely old enough to be dating, but what's your motivation for doing so when your priority is quite rightly, your education; because other people are? If you want qualifications, don't expect things on the dating scene to change drastically when you go to uni. Get your degree, make friends, join societies, build your CV. There's no time-limit to date or get into a relationship.

I agree with you. I want to start dating when the time is right and after my alevels.
Idk if it’s a cultural thing, but that’s always what I’ve been taught. Focus on ur education now and then worry about finding a romantic partner later.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m brown and I have white Friends but their attitude to this is the complete opposite. One of my friend has pretty much thrown her whole education away for this one guy it’s insane.
I’m not jealous of her as I have aspirations ambitions and goals in my life that I want to achieve. But I do feel left out when my friends talk about different guys they are talking to.
Original post by Anonymous
I’m 17 and female. I’m quite tall for my age - 5’10 - and I have brown skin (I’m Indian) Only in the past year, have I thought that I’m actually pretty and I feel pretty especially when I have make up on.
Tbh I have no social life whatsoever because my parents are strict so I go to no parties and I don’t go out EVER. I think the last time I went out for fun was last year in April.
But I’m also a really big nerd and I’m an extreme try hard so I spend most of my free periods at sixth form with my headphones blaring music and I’m just studying while my friends are messing around.
I’ve been asked out a few times by guys of my culture and tbh I’ve been asked out by 2 white guys too. I didn’t go out with any of them as my priority is my school education and getting good alevels.
But last year, one guy made up a rumour stating how I only date white guys, which isn’t true.
Whenever I’m walking people seem to always stare at me but idk.
Sometimes I feel extremely confident, but sometimes I feel like this feeling isn’t true and that I’m not pretty and I’m just getting stared at in a weird manner lol.
But I do feel pretty in my own body a lot of the time.
I do wonder if it is because I’m tall, I’m brown, my head is always in books, I only hang around with 2 people at school that I don’t feel pretty.
But I hope at uni I feel better.
I think feeling comfortably in your own skin and feeling pretty yourself is such a big thing, if you don't feel pretty yourself you wont end up with the right people. personally (I'm also 17) I've found that when I've been wanting a relationship I tended to rush into them without properly getting to know the person which then resulted in me being unhappy. However, when I've decided to take a step back I found that the people I started talking to were so much better. I'm currently in a relationship with an amazing person. this relationship appeared out of nowhere but is the best one I've had so personally I'd say to not stress too much about it and to focus on what you want to (like your studies which you seem to like doing anyway) and let the rest come naturally which could be tomorrow or could come at Uni or even later in life

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