Can someone mark my English Lit GCSE essay?

I am pretty bad at English Literature, I just want tips on how to pick up more marks... but please be really cruel with the marking- if it is 0/30 please say so!
Help would be GREATLY appreciated, thank you!
The extract they provided:
"LADY MACBETH Out, damned spot! Out, I say! One, two. Why then ’tis time to do’t. Hell is murky. Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account? Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him? DOCTOR Do you mark that? LADY MACBETH The Thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now? What, will these hands ne’er be clean? No more o’that, my Lord, no more o’that. You mar all with this starting. DOCTOR Go to, go to; you have known what you should not. GENTLEWOMAN She has spoke what she should not, I am sure of that. Heaven knows what she has known. LADY MACBETH Here’s the smell of the blood still; all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. O, O, O. DOCTOR What a sigh is there! The heart is sorely charged. GENTLEWOMAN I would not have such a heart in my bosom for the dignity of the whole body. DOCTOR Well, well, well – GENTLEWOMAN Pray God it be, sir. DOCTOR This disease is beyond my practice; yet I have known those which have walked in their sleep who have died holily in their beds. LADY MACBETH Wash your hands, put on your night-gown, look not so pale. I tell you yet again, Banquo’s buried; he cannot come out on’s grave. DOCTOR Even so? LADY MACBETH To bed, to bed; there’s knocking at the gate. Come, come, come, come, give me your hand;"
The question was:
‘Lady Macbeth is a female character who changes during the play.’ Starting with this moment in the play, explore how far you agree with this view."
My answer was:
"Throughout the play of Macbeth, Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth to the audience as a character who changes due to overwhelming guilt
making her go crazy, even leading her to commit suicide. At the start of the play, she was presented as ruthless, merciless and extremely ambitious; even more ambitious than Macbeth himself. Near the start of the play, Lady Macbeth received a letter from Macbeth, stating that Macbeth might become king; as stated by the witches. Lady Macbeth's first reaction to this was to immediately decide that she had to convince Macbeth to kill King Duncan: the fact that this was her first thought, conveys to the audience that she is clearly a violent character. Furthermore, the only reason she wants Macbeth to become king, is that she will then become queen; she will have power. This presents her (at the start of the play) as very ambitious, she wants to commit one of the worst crimes back then, regicide, just so that she can have power. Additionally, she had to persuade Macbeth to kill Duncan- which suggests that Lady Macbeth would not have been able to kill Duncan herself; this is because when the play was written, women were steriotypically supossed to be caring and loving- not ruthless and ambitious: so lady Macbeths character would have shocked an audience at the time. She asked the spirits to "unsex" her, and to fill her with the absolute "direst cruelty". This portrays that she hated being a woman, as she didn't want to follow the steriotype of what a woman should have been back then; which is why she asked the spirits to remove her feminine qualities, so that she could be as cruel as possible. Furthermore, whilst trying to convince Macbeth to kill Duncan, she said that she would have killed her own baby if she had promised to do it, as Macbeth had promised to kill Duncan; this emphasises her cruel, merciless qualities- she would have guiltlessly killed her own baby.
After the murder of King Duncan, Macbeth was still worried that they would get caught; Lady Macbeth reassured him by saying that their fates were intertwined, and she even covered her hands in King Duncans blood to prove this. This is the first change that the audience sees in Lady Macbeths character- at the start of the play, she was utterly ruthless and manipulated Macbeth into killing Duncan by questioning his masculinity; without caring about how Macbeth felt. However, now she is reassuring Macbeth, and comforting him that they won't get caught; and if they did get caught, she would be punished as well as him. This slight, temporary change in Lady Macbeths character could be due to immediate guilt directly after Duncans murder; showing the audience that guilt can ruin you and change your personality almost immediately. The theme of guilt is emphasised throughout the rest of the play, because neither Macbeth nor Lady Macbeth sleep properly throughout the rest of the play- a clear sign that they are feeling extremely guilty, and are really paranoid of getting caught.
Towards the end of the play, in this extract, she is consumed by guilt, and her character has vastly changed since the beginning of the play. After the murder of King Duncan, her hands were covered in Duncans blood- however, she was completely unbothered by this; portraying her to the audience as merciless and uncaring. However, now she has clearly been consumed by guilt. She is sleepwalking and is clearly in a mental state of guilt and paranoia. She was wondering how Duncan had so much blood in his body. This is ironic to the audience, because before, she was seemingly unbothered by the blood of Duncan on her hands, but now she appears to think that there is blood on her hands (when there isn't). She even said, "Here's the smell of blood still". She even appears to be able to smell the blood on her hands- emphasising how truly crazy she now is.
In conclusion, Shakespeare clearly presents Lady Macbeth as a character who changes. At the start of the play, she was seemingly merciless and ruthless; but towards the end, she was crazy and extremely consumed with paranoia, and guilt; displaying how guilt of such a heinous crime can completely destroy you as a person- even if you don't get caught."

I am pretty bad at English Literature, I just want tips on how to pick up more marks... but please be really cruel with the marking- if it is 0/30 please say so!
Help would be GREATLY appreciated, thank you!
The extract they provided:
"LADY MACBETH Out, damned spot! Out, I say! One, two. Why then ’tis time to do’t. Hell is murky. Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account? Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him? DOCTOR Do you mark that? LADY MACBETH The Thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now? What, will these hands ne’er be clean? No more o’that, my Lord, no more o’that. You mar all with this starting. DOCTOR Go to, go to; you have known what you should not. GENTLEWOMAN She has spoke what she should not, I am sure of that. Heaven knows what she has known. LADY MACBETH Here’s the smell of the blood still; all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. O, O, O. DOCTOR What a sigh is there! The heart is sorely charged. GENTLEWOMAN I would not have such a heart in my bosom for the dignity of the whole body. DOCTOR Well, well, well – GENTLEWOMAN Pray God it be, sir. DOCTOR This disease is beyond my practice; yet I have known those which have walked in their sleep who have died holily in their beds. LADY MACBETH Wash your hands, put on your night-gown, look not so pale. I tell you yet again, Banquo’s buried; he cannot come out on’s grave. DOCTOR Even so? LADY MACBETH To bed, to bed; there’s knocking at the gate. Come, come, come, come, give me your hand;"
The question was:
‘Lady Macbeth is a female character who changes during the play.’ Starting with this moment in the play, explore how far you agree with this view."
My answer was:
"Throughout the play of Macbeth, Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth to the audience as a character who changes due to overwhelming guilt
making her go crazy, even leading her to commit suicide. At the start of the play, she was presented as ruthless, merciless and extremely ambitious; even more ambitious than Macbeth himself. Near the start of the play, Lady Macbeth received a letter from Macbeth, stating that Macbeth might become king; as stated by the witches. Lady Macbeth's first reaction to this was to immediately decide that she had to convince Macbeth to kill King Duncan: the fact that this was her first thought, conveys to the audience that she is clearly a violent character. Furthermore, the only reason she wants Macbeth to become king, is that she will then become queen; she will have power. This presents her (at the start of the play) as very ambitious, she wants to commit one of the worst crimes back then, regicide, just so that she can have power. Additionally, she had to persuade Macbeth to kill Duncan- which suggests that Lady Macbeth would not have been able to kill Duncan herself; this is because when the play was written, women were steriotypically supossed to be caring and loving- not ruthless and ambitious: so lady Macbeths character would have shocked an audience at the time. She asked the spirits to "unsex" her, and to fill her with the absolute "direst cruelty". This portrays that she hated being a woman, as she didn't want to follow the steriotype of what a woman should have been back then; which is why she asked the spirits to remove her feminine qualities, so that she could be as cruel as possible. Furthermore, whilst trying to convince Macbeth to kill Duncan, she said that she would have killed her own baby if she had promised to do it, as Macbeth had promised to kill Duncan; this emphasises her cruel, merciless qualities- she would have guiltlessly killed her own baby.
After the murder of King Duncan, Macbeth was still worried that they would get caught; Lady Macbeth reassured him by saying that their fates were intertwined, and she even covered her hands in King Duncans blood to prove this. This is the first change that the audience sees in Lady Macbeths character- at the start of the play, she was utterly ruthless and manipulated Macbeth into killing Duncan by questioning his masculinity; without caring about how Macbeth felt. However, now she is reassuring Macbeth, and comforting him that they won't get caught; and if they did get caught, she would be punished as well as him. This slight, temporary change in Lady Macbeths character could be due to immediate guilt directly after Duncans murder; showing the audience that guilt can ruin you and change your personality almost immediately. The theme of guilt is emphasised throughout the rest of the play, because neither Macbeth nor Lady Macbeth sleep properly throughout the rest of the play- a clear sign that they are feeling extremely guilty, and are really paranoid of getting caught.
Towards the end of the play, in this extract, she is consumed by guilt, and her character has vastly changed since the beginning of the play. After the murder of King Duncan, her hands were covered in Duncans blood- however, she was completely unbothered by this; portraying her to the audience as merciless and uncaring. However, now she has clearly been consumed by guilt. She is sleepwalking and is clearly in a mental state of guilt and paranoia. She was wondering how Duncan had so much blood in his body. This is ironic to the audience, because before, she was seemingly unbothered by the blood of Duncan on her hands, but now she appears to think that there is blood on her hands (when there isn't). She even said, "Here's the smell of blood still". She even appears to be able to smell the blood on her hands- emphasising how truly crazy she now is.
In conclusion, Shakespeare clearly presents Lady Macbeth as a character who changes. At the start of the play, she was seemingly merciless and ruthless; but towards the end, she was crazy and extremely consumed with paranoia, and guilt; displaying how guilt of such a heinous crime can completely destroy you as a person- even if you don't get caught."

oopsies think my student room lagged

I am pretty bad at English Literature, I just want tips on how to pick up more marks... but please be really cruel with the marking- if it is 0/30 please say so!
Help would be GREATLY appreciated, thank you!

The extract they provided:
"LADY MACBETH Out, damned spot! Out, I say! One, two. Why then ’tis time to do’t. Hell is murky. Fie, my lord, fie, a soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account? Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him? DOCTOR Do you mark that? LADY MACBETH The Thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now? What, will these hands ne’er be clean? No more o’that, my Lord, no more o’that. You mar all with this starting. DOCTOR Go to, go to; you have known what you should not. GENTLEWOMAN She has spoke what she should not, I am sure of that. Heaven knows what she has known. LADY MACBETH Here’s the smell of the blood still; all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. O, O, O. DOCTOR What a sigh is there! The heart is sorely charged. GENTLEWOMAN I would not have such a heart in my bosom for the dignity of the whole body. DOCTOR Well, well, well – GENTLEWOMAN Pray God it be, sir. DOCTOR This disease is beyond my practice; yet I have known those which have walked in their sleep who have died holily in their beds. LADY MACBETH Wash your hands, put on your night-gown, look not so pale. I tell you yet again, Banquo’s buried; he cannot come out on’s grave. DOCTOR Even so? LADY MACBETH To bed, to bed; there’s knocking at the gate. Come, come, come, come, give me your hand;"

The question was:
‘Lady Macbeth is a female character who changes during the play.’ Starting with this moment in the play, explore how far you agree with this view."

My answer was:
"Throughout the play of Macbeth, Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth to the audience as a character who changes due to overwhelming guilt
making her go crazy, even leading her to commit suicide. At the start of the play, she was presented as ruthless, merciless and extremely ambitious; even more ambitious than Macbeth himself. Near the start of the play, Lady Macbeth received a letter from Macbeth, stating that Macbeth might become king; as stated by the witches. Lady Macbeth's first reaction to this was to immediately decide that she had to convince Macbeth to kill King Duncan: the fact that this was her first thought, conveys to the audience that she is clearly a violent character. Furthermore, the only reason she wants Macbeth to become king, is that she will then become queen; she will have power. This presents her (at the start of the play) as very ambitious, she wants to commit one of the worst crimes back then, regicide, just so that she can have power. Additionally, she had to persuade Macbeth to kill Duncan- which suggests that Lady Macbeth would not have been able to kill Duncan herself; this is because when the play was written, women were steriotypically supossed to be caring and loving- not ruthless and ambitious: so lady Macbeths character would have shocked an audience at the time. She asked the spirits to "unsex" her, and to fill her with the absolute "direst cruelty". This portrays that she hated being a woman, as she didn't want to follow the steriotype of what a woman should have been back then; which is why she asked the spirits to remove her feminine qualities, so that she could be as cruel as possible. Furthermore, whilst trying to convince Macbeth to kill Duncan, she said that she would have killed her own baby if she had promised to do it, as Macbeth had promised to kill Duncan; this emphasises her cruel, merciless qualities- she would have guiltlessly killed her own baby.

After the murder of King Duncan, Macbeth was still worried that they would get caught; Lady Macbeth reassured him by saying that their fates were intertwined, and she even covered her hands in King Duncans blood to prove this. This is the first change that the audience sees in Lady Macbeths character- at the start of the play, she was utterly ruthless and manipulated Macbeth into killing Duncan by questioning his masculinity; without caring about how Macbeth felt. However, now she is reassuring Macbeth, and comforting him that they won't get caught; and if they did get caught, she would be punished as well as him. This slight, temporary change in Lady Macbeths character could be due to immediate guilt directly after Duncans murder; showing the audience that guilt can ruin you and change your personality almost immediately. The theme of guilt is emphasised throughout the rest of the play, because neither Macbeth nor Lady Macbeth sleep properly throughout the rest of the play- a clear sign that they are feeling extremely guilty, and are really paranoid of getting caught.

Towards the end of the play, in this extract, she is consumed by guilt, and her character has vastly changed since the beginning of the play. After the murder of King Duncan, her hands were covered in Duncans blood- however, she was completely unbothered by this; portraying her to the audience as merciless and uncaring. However, now she has clearly been consumed by guilt. She is sleepwalking and is clearly in a mental state of guilt and paranoia. She was wondering how Duncan had so much blood in his body. This is ironic to the audience, because before, she was seemingly unbothered by the blood of Duncan on her hands, but now she appears to think that there is blood on her hands (when there isn't). She even said, "Here's the smell of blood still". She even appears to be able to smell the blood on her hands- emphasising how truly crazy she now is.

In conclusion, Shakespeare clearly presents Lady Macbeth as a character who changes. At the start of the play, she was seemingly merciless and ruthless; but towards the end, she was crazy and extremely consumed with paranoia, and guilt; displaying how guilt of such a heinous crime can completely destroy you as a person- even if you don't get caught."

yes don’t try to story tell as the examiner knows what the story is abt. Perhaps learn analysis skills for eg when you said the quote “here’s the smell of blood still” try zoom into words and not explain what directly the quote means. For EG
what u should say is “blood” connotes infinity, and depicts negative connotations.

Hi, I’d be happy to give some feedback!
So firstly, it’s very important to make sure you have a clear introduction!
It’s also important to consider nuance: has LM changed at all? Could you argue that, over the course of the play, she has just revealed her true colours/that facade has slipped so she hasn’t changed but now we see her as she truly is?
Avoid informality like “back then” and mention “regicide” straightaway.
Spelling checks: stereotypically and supposed
Generally try to use high level vocab: somnambulism instead of sleepwalking, you could describe her rubbing at the spot as compulsive neurosis for example! A bit of flair can impress the examiner
Ensure that you clearly demarcate your work: write in paragraphs.
Intro
Main body 1
Main body 2
Main body 3
Conclusion
Is how I would lay it out! Ensure each paragraph starts with a topic sentence, but try not to retell the story. Use short snappy quotes (out damned spot for example) and identify language techniques!!
This is a must: explode quotes and talk about them a lot! There was ample opportunity to talk about some great techniques so don’t miss them!
For example, “out damned spot” + her wanting to be surrounded be light (find the quote on that!)
- now she realises that this blood has “damned her”, she perhaps regrets how it has affected her more than her crime
- the spot which never washes is symbolic of perhaps a witches mark implying that she is a direct agent of the Devil, intent on wreaking havoc and dismantling the Great Chain of Being
- before she wanted to be plunged into darkness (“come thick night”) to conceal her intentions from God but after it having a toll on her, she wishes to be continually by light
- light connotes purity and cleanliness, as though her being surrounded by light will dispel the darkness that emanates from her being, as though the light will cleanse her of her sins
I would award your answer 16-18
Hope this helps

Hi, some feedback
-explicitly explore why Shakespeare did what he did on each paragraph- you could start by “S uses this metaphor to convey….” Or “S intention here could be”
-provide alternative ideas and interpretations it shows examiners that you are exploring the text and it makes u stand out. like “this could suggest….however it could also be interpreted “
-also learn more quotes instead of telling them that she says she would kill her own baby you could use the exact quote and get some analysis to support ur view. Your second paragraph lacks quotes, which makes ur essay weak and again u need to explore methods and their impact on readers. You are on the right track, make sure to learn quotes and practice more questions!! Good luck!!

Hi, some feedback
-explicitly explore why Shakespeare did what he did on each paragraph- you could start by “S uses this metaphor to convey….” Or “S intention here could be”
-provide alternative ideas and interpretations it shows examiners that you are exploring the text and it makes u stand out. like “this could suggest….however it could also be interpreted “
-also learn more quotes instead of telling them that she says she would kill her own baby you could use the exact quote and get some analysis to support ur view. Your second paragraph lacks quotes, which makes ur essay weak and again u need to explore methods and their impact on readers. You are on the right track, make sure to learn quotes and practice more questions!! Good luck!!