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So depressed over my crush

I've been up and down many years but just hit bottom again. I have a massive crush on this guy, he clearly not interested but I just can't get over him for some reason. It doesn't help him and his friends are all the social life I have, and every time I'm reminded of how good looking and charming he is.

Being depressed and awkward I drink a ton every time we hang out, way more than them but especially lately it doesn't do that much anymore. All I feel is sick and bloated but still sad and on edge. They're much closer to each other and I just feel I'm not cool enough for him or any of them.
Original post by user2456532
I've been up and down many years but just hit bottom again. I have a massive crush on this guy, he clearly not interested but I just can't get over him for some reason. It doesn't help him and his friends are all the social life I have, and every time I'm reminded of how good looking and charming he is.
Being depressed and awkward I drink a ton every time we hang out, way more than them but especially lately it doesn't do that much anymore. All I feel is sick and bloated but still sad and on edge. They're much closer to each other and I just feel I'm not cool enough for him or any of them.

I am sorry to hear that. I too am in that type of position as well ,so I do know how it feels. The best way though is not to drink and stay sober and just try and make exucses to be with him. You never know what can happen in future, people change and he may be interested then, if not now. Much better though as I say to stay sober ,really in all respects.
Reply 2
Original post by anonymouse2024
I am sorry to hear that. I too am in that type of position as well ,so I do know how it feels. The best way though is not to drink and stay sober and just try and make exucses to be with him. You never know what can happen in future, people change and he may be interested then, if not now. Much better though as I say to stay sober ,really in all respects.

I did a few times already, there were a few times he was hosting and I stayed all the way so I could talk to him at the end. He just talked about the girls he wanted his friend to wingman him for :/ Honestly I'm not even sure I want to see him again, it's just driving me mad. Not to mention he may have easily picked up on it already and I don't want to weird him out.

I always struggled with talking to people especially without alcohol so I don't know how I might stay sober. I can just brick out and look so awkward and it's horrible. Alcohol used to help a fair bit but I might have screwed over my tolerance.

How is it going with your crush?
Original post by user2456532
I did a few times already, there were a few times he was hosting and I stayed all the way so I could talk to him at the end. He just talked about the girls he wanted his friend to wingman him for :/ Honestly I'm not even sure I want to see him again, it's just driving me mad. Not to mention he may have easily picked up on it already and I don't want to weird him out.
I always struggled with talking to people especially without alcohol so I don't know how I might stay sober. I can just brick out and look so awkward and it's horrible. Alcohol used to help a fair bit but I might have screwed over my tolerance.
How is it going with your crush?

The only thing you could do to bring it to a head is ask him whether he would like to come over for a coffee, drink or whatevery. If he declines once then give him that one, then try again and if third invite he declines then maybe try best to not see him for a while. My "crush" problem is much more awkward unfortunately as she is much younger than me and I am getting more attached to her. Not even kissed or anything (except I kiss her on top of head as she is shorter than me, or on forehead), but she has hugged me/we have hugged a large number of times and she puts the side of her head on my chest (standing up) and then holds me tight as do I her, then we stay like that for a good number of minutes. Dont know what that signifies really ?.
(edited 3 months ago)
Reply 4
I'm really not sure if we're on good enough terms for that. I know he has friends that would just get him to travel around for tournaments but I never talk to him unless I see him. That guy also said stuff that was so suspect, he asked me in front of everyone stuff like how much I loved my crush or if I'd do a shot out of his belly button? I just froze and didn't know what to say! There's no way he asked it out of the blue so they must have some idea. I just think if he had any interest at all he'd make more of an effort to talk to me. And I don't want to lose the rest of my social life.

That sounds so sweet. Hard to know what's going through her mind specifically but if you're hugging for minutes that sounds like she's attached in some sense at least. Do you think you want to tell her?
Original post by user2456532
I'm really not sure if we're on good enough terms for that. I know he has friends that would just get him to travel around for tournaments but I never talk to him unless I see him. That guy also said stuff that was so suspect, he asked me in front of everyone stuff like how much I loved my crush or if I'd do a shot out of his belly button? I just froze and didn't know what to say! There's no way he asked it out of the blue so they must have some idea. I just think if he had any interest at all he'd make more of an effort to talk to me. And I don't want to lose the rest of my social life.
That sounds so sweet. Hard to know what's going through her mind specifically but if you're hugging for minutes that sounds like she's attached in some sense at least. Do you think you want to tell her?

Yes sounds like you need to play it cool and just be there if he wants to make an approach towards you I am sure he
will. You never know how crushes turn out. I hope all turns out well for you anyway. I can't really tell her as it is meant to be non sexual so need to try and keep it that way. We will just stick to hugging and comforting each other.
Original post by user2456532
I've been up and down many years but just hit bottom again. I have a massive crush on this guy, he clearly not interested but I just can't get over him for some reason. It doesn't help him and his friends are all the social life I have, and every time I'm reminded of how good looking and charming he is.
Being depressed and awkward I drink a ton every time we hang out, way more than them but especially lately it doesn't do that much anymore. All I feel is sick and bloated but still sad and on edge. They're much closer to each other and I just feel I'm not cool enough for him or any of them.

I have a similar experience with a girl
Original post by user2456532
I've been up and down many years but just hit bottom again. I have a massive crush on this guy, he clearly not interested but I just can't get over him for some reason. It doesn't help him and his friends are all the social life I have, and every time I'm reminded of how good looking and charming he is.
Being depressed and awkward I drink a ton every time we hang out, way more than them but especially lately it doesn't do that much anymore. All I feel is sick and bloated but still sad and on edge. They're much closer to each other and I just feel I'm not cool enough for him or any of them.

Sorry to hear this.

Maybe you could see a GP who could help you further.

If you feel the need to have a chat, message me whenever you wish.

I will come back to write more as I'm busy. Take care
Original post by user2456532
I've been up and down many years but just hit bottom again. I have a massive crush on this guy, he clearly not interested but I just can't get over him for some reason. It doesn't help him and his friends are all the social life I have, and every time I'm reminded of how good looking and charming he is.
Being depressed and awkward I drink a ton every time we hang out, way more than them but especially lately it doesn't do that much anymore. All I feel is sick and bloated but still sad and on edge. They're much closer to each other and I just feel I'm not cool enough for him or any of them.

Again I am sorry to hear the anxiety, stresses you have. Theyre not nice. I have been there too, and indeed am. What I would suggest to you is to find a good Hypnotherapist. They do Hypnosis and other therapies like EMDR together and definitely can work. They will often give you a 1/2 hr free consultation to explain all to you and hear what you are suffering. That itself is good. If you are Southern England then let me know by DM and can give you details of several good ones as I researched them for a friend and have met them.
(edited 1 month ago)

Yeah my negative self talk is endless. I feel awkward and out of place when I'm with people, self talk gets me in a bad mood and I leave, I feel worse that I left things that way. Then I say it's my fault when people do things without me etc. I feel it's all true though
Original post by user2456532
Yeah my negative self talk is endless. I feel awkward and out of place when I'm with people, self talk gets me in a bad mood and I leave, I feel worse that I left things that way. Then I say it's my fault when people do things without me etc. I feel it's all true though

Look, if you really want to help yourself get a Hypnotherapist. Choose one who will give you a 20 min/ 30 min free consultation and go from there. they really can help with confidence, depression etc. They have combination of Hypnosis and EMDR (rapid eye movement) which actually can work great.
Original post by anonymouse2024
Look, if you really want to help yourself get a Hypnotherapist. Choose one who will give you a 20 min/ 30 min free consultation and go from there. they really can help with confidence, depression etc. They have combination of Hypnosis and EMDR (rapid eye movement) which actually can work great.

That sounds so involved but I'll have a look. My crush is actually driving me mad today. This afternoon his friend accidentally called me saying they were all going to the park for a drink and got me a bit jealous. Then I was going out with my flatmate, decided to go home early because it was mostly his coursemates that I didn't know and I wasn't feeling it. But at the next pub guess what he texted me saying my crush was there. So now I'm just alone in my room feeling awful that he's going out with all these people but never me.

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