The Student Room Group

Why can’t I get a guy who is interested in me?

Ok. So to cut a long story short the past 3ish years have been difficult mentally. Due to that I have had no option but to focus on myself and self improvement and it’s been great now I’m on the other side of my dark days should we say. Anyway, due to the ‘dark days’ I have had a glow up both mentally and physically. Mentally I have a better mindset and a better approach on situations. And I’ve also had a physical glow up as I’ve started to work out, have a better dress sense learnt how to do my hair and makeup and generally take better care of myself. So without sounding too arrogant I am a lot prettier in what society deems to be pretty.

Anyway I have become a lot more confident and now life has been pretty much great. Apart from dating that has now gone down hill. Ik I now come across more attractive, I have been getting more male attention (icl it’s been great for the ego tbh) but I find that all they want is s*x and n*des. Where as before when I wasn’t as confident and was “uglier” I had guys who were actually interested in getting to know me and not getting to know how I look without clothes.

I don’t need anyone to tell me that I’m good looking or whatever cos honestly I know and it took a lot of work to get myself here and I’m proud.

I don’t know if it’s my appearance or if I’m just unlucky. I dress somewhat modest and never go clubbing now so it can’t be the way I dress. Errr sorry about this rant, I’m not looking for a relationship currently, but when I talk to a guy who seems genuine I do get interested and later find that they are only interested in 18+ stuff tbh, they aren’t actually interested in getting to know me if that makes any sense. I know that there are good guys out there because I used to date them, I just wasn’t in the mind space back then to commit, didn’t know what I wanted and tbh only dated because I wanted the validation. I’m in a much better headspace now and don’t need the validation anymore but the men are trash.

Am I doing something wrong or am I just unlucky.
Original post by Anonymous
Ok. So to cut a long story short the past 3ish years have been difficult mentally. Due to that I have had no option but to focus on myself and self improvement and it’s been great now I’m on the other side of my dark days should we say. Anyway, due to the ‘dark days’ I have had a glow up both mentally and physically. Mentally I have a better mindset and a better approach on situations. And I’ve also had a physical glow up as I’ve started to work out, have a better dress sense learnt how to do my hair and makeup and generally take better care of myself. So without sounding too arrogant I am a lot prettier in what society deems to be pretty.
Anyway I have become a lot more confident and now life has been pretty much great. Apart from dating that has now gone down hill. Ik I now come across more attractive, I have been getting more male attention (icl it’s been great for the ego tbh) but I find that all they want is s*x and n*des. Where as before when I wasn’t as confident and was “uglier” I had guys who were actually interested in getting to know me and not getting to know how I look without clothes.
I don’t need anyone to tell me that I’m good looking or whatever cos honestly I know and it took a lot of work to get myself here and I’m proud.
I don’t know if it’s my appearance or if I’m just unlucky. I dress somewhat modest and never go clubbing now so it can’t be the way I dress. Errr sorry about this rant, I’m not looking for a relationship currently, but when I talk to a guy who seems genuine I do get interested and later find that they are only interested in 18+ stuff tbh, they aren’t actually interested in getting to know me if that makes any sense. I know that there are good guys out there because I used to date them, I just wasn’t in the mind space back then to commit, didn’t know what I wanted and tbh only dated because I wanted the validation. I’m in a much better headspace now and don’t need the validation anymore but the men are trash.
Am I doing something wrong or am I just unlucky.
Are the guys you find mostly on social media? Bc if so its no surprise that they act weird. People online will always be weird.
By the sounds of it, you're not doing anything wrong and its just a chance of wrong time, wrong place. Men are trash and with todays problems, it seems better to be single. Its also good that you improved yourself, at least u walk away with something. Idk how old you are but you seem to be focusing on yourself which is the most important thing in the world, sure you are unlucky but once you find someone - everything will be great
I need your mindset so bad.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Are the guys you find mostly on social media? Bc if so its no surprise that they act weird. People online will always be weird.
By the sounds of it, you're not doing anything wrong and its just a chance of wrong time, wrong place. Men are trash and with todays problems, it seems better to be single. Its also good that you improved yourself, at least u walk away with something. Idk how old you are but you seem to be focusing on yourself which is the most important thing in the world, sure you are unlucky but once you find someone - everything will be great
I need your mindset so bad.

Just turned 21. I started working on myself when I was 18 after having toxic friends - long story on that one.

I’ve met men on dating apps who just want the 18+ crap, but the ones I’ve met are pretty much straight up once we’ve exchanged social media. Even though it’s something I don’t want to do I appreciate them being straightforward as I don’t end up wasting time and energy with them. They essentially reveal their true intentions in about a week, I know they may seem long for some people but I don’t usually care about them in the first week, so once their intentions have been revealed it doesn’t hurt as bad. Like there’s still a little sting but I get over it.

The problem I have been having are the men I meet at career related events. I’m not going to lie what I study and I plan on going into the future is bloody hard. So all the guys I meet are very smart, nerdy and have amazing LinkedIn profiles (lol that’s a strange way to paint a picture) but haha still ********. Idk why I thought they’d be different as obviously they are very career focused.
Original post by Anonymous
Just turned 21. I started working on myself when I was 18 after having toxic friends - long story on that one.
I’ve met men on dating apps who just want the 18+ crap, but the ones I’ve met are pretty much straight up once we’ve exchanged social media. Even though it’s something I don’t want to do I appreciate them being straightforward as I don’t end up wasting time and energy with them. They essentially reveal their true intentions in about a week, I know they may seem long for some people but I don’t usually care about them in the first week, so once their intentions have been revealed it doesn’t hurt as bad. Like there’s still a little sting but I get over it.
The problem I have been having are the men I meet at career related events. I’m not going to lie what I study and I plan on going into the future is bloody hard. So all the guys I meet are very smart, nerdy and have amazing LinkedIn profiles (lol that’s a strange way to paint a picture) but haha still ********. Idk why I thought they’d be different as obviously they are very career focused.
girl your still young! I was thinking that ur like 31 or smt lol. Nah you'll find the one, you have loads of time and your constantly meeting new people so whos to say that the next guy who talks to you wont be the love of your life haha.
Also I'm sorry, it must suck getting guys but then finding that they are rubbish people. At least you can just play and up your game right? Think of it as practise ig but yeah i bet it gets tiring.

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