The Student Room Group

When is it ok to have feelings for someone else after a breakup?

So.. I broke up with my ex 2.5 weeks ago we were together for 1 year and 4 months. I was definitely sad when we broke up but it seems I was only sad for a couple of days, I'm already in my "I wanna change my hair, workout and look good" stage lol. Anyways.
Since this breakup I have reached out to an old guy friend who I hadn't spoken to in about 2yrs and now we're talking like no time has passed - bouncing off of each other, saying we should catch up in person soon, reminiscing on memories. Issue is that I think I've always had feelings for him and am only now realising this. I feel myself getting excited for his reply even if it isn't an exciting text and am getting butterflies thinking about meeting up. So after how long is it acceptable to have feelings for someone else or start dating after a breakup? I feel guilty for having these feelings and like I shouldn't meet with him even though I'm not with my ex anymore and we cut contact completely so I'm not sure whats right and whats wrong...
It is acceptable to be attracted to other people whenever you're attracted to other people. Including when you're in a relationship. Because you actually can't stop being attracted to other people. The issue is when it is acceptable to act on those feelings. When you are in a relationship it is not. When you are not in a relationship, you can act on whatever feelings you like. Whether you are emotionally ready for another relationship is a different factor which is more important than whether it is 'socially acceptable' or not. Sounds like you like each other, so give it a go and see what happens.
Reply 2
Quite often the dumper is immediately ready to move on, indeed there’s someone already on the cards. So there’s no set time or barrier, although a grieving dumpee may not see it quite the same way
It is always fine to have feelings.
While you are a single adult, attracted, the other person is too and there's nothing illegal planned- it's fine to act on your feelings whenever you feel ready to do so.

Some people are ready to move on within 2 mins of a relationship ending.
Others prefer to wait a bit longer, for weeks or even years.
Until they feel that the time is right.
Good luck!

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending