What do you guys think ?

OK guys so quick backstory I tend to find older people attractive, not like old old but you know maybe they can be in their 20s or mid 20s but sometimes I do tend to compliment people who are older than me but it’s not like I physically go up to them and tell them that they look good it can be as simple as I think that they have nice shoes I like their haircut or I really like their outfit so I usually would tell them you. My family told me I should not complement people older than me and at least wait till I’m 19 or 20 to find older people attractive and that I should date in my age range and younger I am 17 and literally almost 18 and they still tell me that 19 is too old for me and the thing is I compliment older women too I’m just nice but wouldn’t that be hypocritical saying it’s okay to compliment older women but I can’t compliment older men until I’m 19 or 20 ? So ending question is … is 17 and 19 bad ? Or is my family right ?

Reply 1

Crazy Jamie

Life & Style Forum Helper, Careers Forum Helper

Your family is not right, but in fairness to them you can probably give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that them warning you about this motivated by a desire to protect you. There are plenty of girls your age who find older man attractive, and many of those wouldn't even consider guys in their 20s to be 'older' for these purposes, but it's also right to say that there are plenty of older guys who are very willing to exploit and take advantage of girls your age. So the concern for your parents may well be that in pursuing older guys you'll put yourself in situations where you're vulnerable or otherwise not entirely safe.

Of course, as a headstrong 17 year old you're going to dismiss some concerns as coming from over protective parents, but it's not just the risk of you being physically harmed. There are plenty of situations where you can be intimate with or have sex with guys of any age and regret that decision later, because it's not something you thought through or because you feel with hindsight that you weren't entirely comfortable with it. That's not necessarily a bad thing because to a degree you have to learn from mistakes like that, but it is right to say that you should make sure that you are sensible and stay safe in situations like that. It is entirely up to you who you find attractive, who you get into relationships with, and who you are intimate with. But it is also fair to highlight that you should make sure you're keeping yourself safe whilst doing so.

It's fair to say that much of this applies regardless of the age of the guys that we're talking about, but I do think the risk is somewhat higher, for several reasons, when talking about older guys. It's just something to be aware of, and I don't think you should judge or criticise your family for wanting to protect you in that situation (not that you have in that first post).

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Tysm! On your insights now I definitely understand where they were in particular coming from and realize it’s normal for them to feel that way also , thank you for replying I appreciate it ❤️😊

Reply 3

Zarek

Adults and non adults or very different life stages is an issue. But 17, going 18, and 19 is fine. Listen to your family though as they have your best interests at heart

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

Adults and non adults or very different life stages is an issue. But 17, going 18, and 19 is fine. Listen to your family though as they have your best interests at heart

Definitely! So that person is turning 20 would that still be fine ? Or should u just wait ?

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

To be fair 17 and 19 isn’t bad but the 19 year old is likely to be at a different stage of life. That’s why a lot of people are against 17 year olds dating someone 19 or 20 even though it doesn’t sound and is legal.