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lonely at uni

I'm at the end of my second year and still haven't made any friends. i talk to people in my lecture, but then they never talk to me again. I don't know what else to do
Reply 1
Have you tried joining some societies with people who share your interests or maybe volunteer to do things like help out at open days.In fact any volunteering gig is a good way to meet people.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm at the end of my second year and still haven't made any friends. i talk to people in my lecture, but then they never talk to me again. I don't know what else to do

Hi!

I completely understand what that feels like. I became really close with a group of Erasmus students in my first year, but once they returned to their home countries, I had no friends again.

It took me a while, but I formed a good group of friends by my third year. Whenever we had group projects or discussions, I would try to be really conversational. I would try to talk about at least one thing that wasn't directly related to our uni work. Slowly but surely, it just became natural for us to talk about more personal things, and we formed a little group within our class. This led to us spending our breaks together, too! Next, and the most important thing for me, was creating a group on Snapchat or WhatsApp once I had formed this little group. This encouraged conversations outside of lecturers; we usually only spoke about uni stuff, but it still brought us closer.

Another strategy I used was to initiate social activities. When assignment deadlines were approaching, I would ask to join people in the library or invite them to sit with me. After submitting assignments, I would suggest in our group chat that we celebrate at a cafe or restaurant near campus. Even meeting up for food at our university restaurant was a convenient way to socialize.

My final tip is not to limit yourself to being friends with boys (you might not do this, but I have noticed this trend). I personally used to just talk to other girls on my course, but I actually found that once I was more open to being friends with boys in my class, that is when I started finding great friendships. My group of friends is a mix of boys and girls, and I think that is one of the best qualities of our group.

I wish you all the best!

Anastasia,
BCU Student Rep.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm at the end of my second year and still haven't made any friends. i talk to people in my lecture, but then they never talk to me again. I don't know what else to do

Hey,

I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling to form friendships at university. You're definitely not alone: by second year, it can sometimes feel like all the 'friendship groups' on your course have already formed and there's no way to make new friends. Luckily, that's not the case: try joining a society that interests you and start attending society meetings/events, or pick up an activity sponsored by the university, such as volunteering or foreign language classes (lots of universities offer these for free), where you can meet people and learn a new skill at the same time.

Try asking the people you're chatting with in lectures to go out for a coffee/lunch once the lecture is over. This way, you can take the connection you've already started forming somewhere else and develop it a bit further; maybe you'll hit upon a hobby you have in common and can arrange to do it together.

Best of luck, and I hope you find some good friends soon! 😁
Eve (Kingston Rep).
Original post by Anonymous
I'm at the end of my second year and still haven't made any friends. i talk to people in my lecture, but then they never talk to me again. I don't know what else to do

Anon,

Sorry to hear that you've struggled to make friends. It's good that you are talking to people in lectures. Perhaps you can see if people want to go for a coffee, eat lunch, or go to the library afterwards. You could also see if people are up for meeting up on the weekend, to revise, go see a film, or to watch some sport.

It is difficult to be proactive when it comes to making friends. It can often feel like other people should make more of an effort and it's frustrating when it feels like you are trying to be friends with people and they don't seem be too bothered. Be proactive with people who you have already spoken to a bit. If you are trying to invite people to things or to hang out with people and they seem a bit indifferent, then move on. Don't waste time trying to be friends with people who don't want to be friends. Increase your chances of friendship by creating more opportunities to meet people. Go to different societies, get a job, do some volunteering, attend events at your university and in your local community.

If you do begin to get to know people before the summer, do try and stay in contact over the holidays ( the odd message here or there or chat on the phone) so that it's easy to pick up the friendship in the autumn. If you don't begin to get to know people better before the summer, do try and meet up with old school friends, friends in your area and family so that you feel valued and more confident ahead of your final year.

All the best!

Oluwatosin 3rd year student University of Huddersfield
Original post by Anonymous
I'm at the end of my second year and still haven't made any friends. i talk to people in my lecture, but then they never talk to me again. I don't know what else to do

Hi there,

Sorry to hear you have been feeling like this. It sounds like a tough situation that you are in.

I would say if you haven't already then look into joining a society! This is a great way of meeting people who have a similar interest to you and usually people who are in societies are up for making friends so this is a great thing to do to meet people and make friends. It's also a great way of just getting out of the house as this can be quite lonely and isolating at times and I have felt like this before too.

I would also have a look on Facebook or other social media platforms to see if there is anyone you can meet up with here and see if there is anyone around in a similar situation or just wants to make some friends and ask them if they want to meet up with you.

Also, asking people on your course if they want to meet up and do things outside of uni and usually people will want to do this so this may be a good idea too. I would start by making conversation at uni and then ask them if they want to go for a coffee or for lunch after uni as this can start a friendship and you could also ask them if they want to go to the library with you to study or work on assignments as people may be up for doing this. The worst people can say is no so it's worth an ask.

I would also see if your student union has nay events on that you can go to as sometimes they put things in to go to which are great ways of meeting people too.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador
Original post by Anonymous
I'm at the end of my second year and still haven't made any friends. i talk to people in my lecture, but then they never talk to me again. I don't know what else to do

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Making friends in university can sometimes be challenging, especially if you're not sure where to start or if initial interactions don't seem to lead anywhere.

It's great that you're reaching out and engaging with people in your lectures. Keep in mind that forming meaningful connections takes time, and sometimes it's about finding the right opportunities and environments where you feel comfortable and can naturally bond with others.

Consider exploring different social activities or clubs on campus that align with your interests. Whether it's joining a sports team, attending student society events, or participating in study groups, these can all be excellent ways to meet new people and expand your social circle.

Don't be discouraged if some interactions don't immediately lead to lasting friendships. Sometimes it takes multiple encounters and shared experiences to develop meaningful connections. Keep being open to new opportunities and reaching out to others, and you'll likely find your social circle in due time.

If you're feeling overwhelmed or need additional support, don't hesitate to reach out to university resources such as student support services or counselling. At Salford we have https://www.salford.ac.uk/askus/topics/wellbeing-and-counsellingWellbeing and Counselling so try to look into something similar at your Uni. They can provide guidance and assistance in navigating social challenges and adjusting to university life.

Remember, you're not alone in feeling this way, and there are people and resources available to help you through this. Keep persevering, and I'm confident you'll find your place and build meaningful connections in due time.

Best Regards,
Arslan University of Salford Student Representative
Original post by Anonymous
I'm at the end of my second year and still haven't made any friends. i talk to people in my lecture, but then they never talk to me again. I don't know what else to do

Hello there.
Hey, I hear you. It might be difficult to feel like you're not building relationships with others, especially when you put yourself out there in lectures and still don't go anywhere. It is understandable to be frustrated and disheartened by the circumstance.
First and foremost, understand that you are not alone in feeling this way. Making friends at university may be difficult for many people, and it's not uncommon to struggle with it, particularly in the first few years. It may appear like everyone else has already formed their cliques, but the truth is that there are most likely others who share your sentiments.
Consider stretching out beyond just chatting to individuals in classes. Try joining clubs or societies that share your interests or hobbies. It's an excellent method to meet others who share your interests and establish potential for deeper connections. Plus, participating in extracurricular activities can bring variety to your university experience and provide a reprieve from the academic grind.
Another approach is to take the effort to follow up with folks you met during lectures. If you get along with someone during a conversation, don't be hesitant to reach out and suggest getting coffee or studying together someday. Building friendships frequently takes making the first move and putting yourself out there, but it can result in rewarding partnerships in the long run.
Finally, do not be too hard on yourself. Making friends requires time and effort, and it's fine if it doesn't happen overnight. Stay open to new chances and experiences, and you'll eventually find your tribe. Remember that true friendships are worth the wait, so don't settle for anything less than those who truly value you for who you are. Hang in there, and things will improve.
I hope this is helpful.
Kind regards,
Mrunali Kalbhor,
University of Sunderland Student ambassador
Reply 8
Original post by University of Sunderland Student Ambassador
Hello there.
Hey, I hear you. It might be difficult to feel like you're not building relationships with others, especially when you put yourself out there in lectures and still don't go anywhere. It is understandable to be frustrated and disheartened by the circumstance.
First and foremost, understand that you are not alone in feeling this way. Making friends at university may be difficult for many people, and it's not uncommon to struggle with it, particularly in the first few years. It may appear like everyone else has already formed their cliques, but the truth is that there are most likely others who share your sentiments.
Consider stretching out beyond just chatting to individuals in classes. Try joining clubs or societies that share your interests or hobbies. It's an excellent method to meet others who share your interests and establish potential for deeper connections. Plus, participating in extracurricular activities can bring variety to your university experience and provide a reprieve from the academic grind.
Another approach is to take the effort to follow up with folks you met during lectures. If you get along with someone during a conversation, don't be hesitant to reach out and suggest getting coffee or studying together someday. Building friendships frequently takes making the first move and putting yourself out there, but it can result in rewarding partnerships in the long run.
Finally, do not be too hard on yourself. Making friends requires time and effort, and it's fine if it doesn't happen overnight. Stay open to new chances and experiences, and you'll eventually find your tribe. Remember that true friendships are worth the wait, so don't settle for anything less than those who truly value you for who you are. Hang in there, and things will improve.
I hope this is helpful.
Kind regards,
Mrunali Kalbhor,
University of Sunderland Student ambassador

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