I feel so deflated

I’m not really looking for sympathy but I just wanted to vent on here because I don’t have anyone I am willing to talk to about how I really feel, so I appreciate the anonymity of this.
Sometimes as much as I love my friends I feel so envious of their lives. Growing up I watched a lot of abuse in my home things have changed now but it got so bad that my mom moved us away just so we wouldn’t witness it. Overtime things got better but I still have so much resentment. My mom has been through so much and works so hard all the time and I feel like my whole home is so miserable. Things got worse financially for my family and now I live in a council estate and I feel like it has ruined so many aspects of my life. At first I didn’t really care but sometime ago a close friend of mine saw my address and name on a paper and she just burst out in laughter and started making fun of where I live and I just stood there like a deer caught in headlights. That is probably the first time I was truly ashamed, now every time a friend asks to come to my place I just make excuses because I am so ashamed of myself even though I can’t control anything. What makes it worse is that my friends constantly make fun of people that live in government housing without knowing I live in one and honestly i know it sounds superficial but it truly makes me feel deeply ashamed of myself. I hate everything about myself, I hate the way I look, every time I walk past people I just feel ashamed and try to keep distance so they don’t look at me, I don’t know why I do that but I just subconsciously assume people think the worst of me. I feel so stressed and anxious all the time, my hormone cycle is irregular, constantly getting heart palpitations and feeling like my heart is going to hurts, this usually happens when I start thinking about things then my chest just hurts. So now I feel like my thought are having a physical effect on me. I usually always feel deflated and tired, not only physically but mentally most of the time I just have grey in my mind and I constantly feel overwhelmed and like crying. My life is a constant cycle of the same thing. I always look at people around me and constantly feel left behind, everyone seems to have this amazing life, going out to parties and hanging out with friends while I rot in my room all day, I don’t even have that many clear pictures of myself because I don’t like seeing myself. I do get complicated a lot but I always just feel like they are superficial. I just want to be normal like everyone else. I know I sound ungrateful because there are people that have it worse but this is just how I feel right now.
I just need some advice, I'm tired of feeling like this. I
Going off to university in a year and I just want to start fresh.