I'm so dumb. I used to be okay in GCSEs but now with my first alevel exam in 28 days, i feel like I've learnt nothing. I do maths, comp sci, business. I try my best in class and use my frees wisely by doing revision in the library but i get to the middle of a past paper, and i can't do it without looking at the mark scheme. I don't even know what topics i struggle at this point because there doesn't seem to be a reoccurring topic coming up.
My uni grade is a BCC but i feel like i can't do it. I go to a grammer school so i just feel so pressured because i feel like everyone geta everything straight way or at least they know 10x more than me and it just makes me feel worse bc i can't keep up with everyone. I hate everything about school and i was ranting about my friend about how bad university was going to be if i can't do alevel and she looked at me and she said "i genuinely think that you would regret going to university" - which sort of broke me because i know that she knows how dumb i am. She said i won't enjoy it because of the course i took but i don't enjoy anything in life so i did the next best option and took the course that i thought would be beneficial.
I just feel so overwhelmed all the time and i feel like i don't have a chance to breathe because each question i do, my mind goes blank. It's mainly maths that makes me overwhelmed. It's overwhelming to the point where i can't do any other subject properly because i know i should be doing maths. I get like a D on topic tests, sometimes a C but i cannot do a past paper without looking at the mark scheme. Everyone says that they don't understand but they clearly do when they're getting a grade B and above. I know i shouldn't compare myself to others but i can't just help feel pathetic when everyone is in the same boat as me but i seem to be struggling.
I used to think that this summer was going to be fun as my exams would be finally over but i don't see how i'm going to have fun knowing my exam results will come and ruin my future. I'm so useless and i feel like i've wasted everyones time asking for help when its not actually helping me