The Student Room Group

dont know

i was shadowing a doctor last night in resus and watched a patient deteriorate and die in front of us.
i dont know how to feel and im not sure if i do feel anything.
i dont know anyone i can talk to who might understand.
hello - i'm a nursing student and have seen many patients deteriorate and unfortunately pass away. i hope that you're okay. i understand how shaken up you must feel and how lost/empty you may be feeling. you may also be questioning if you could have done something to help them, or may just be angry and upset at the situation as a whole.

it is very hard to process, reflect on and try to understand what has just happened and how to feel - and this feeling continues with each death that's been witnessed. it helps me to talk about what has happened - i do this by journalling things such as the sequence of events and how i felt at each point, a lot of the time the words 'confused', 'scared' and 'want to help' are used.

this is very normal - it's very hard to come to terms with, you may not even want to at this point. but please make sure to look after yourself. if you're at university, your tutors and wellbeing team will be experienced in dealing with these feelings and they may be able to advise you further with what to do. the nhs also offers counselling (although i am unsure how available this is nationally), and i think that if you're on placement it may be worth mentioning to someone that you have worked with/shadowed and ask them how they deal with things like this.

please take some time to look after yourself. it's very scary and difficult to try to make sense of what you feel or what you think you should feel, it can become very numbing - or the opposite, very overwhelming. it does eventually become easier to anticipate and process as you become more experienced with these things, but never be ashamed to need time for yourself.

look after yourself, you're doing really well <3

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