Relationship help please!!!
So I am in a situationship with this guy who I do like except he's not from the same place in India as I am and he's not Catholic like me (he's not religious). He said he would be willing to convert (he doesn't have to for me) and that he would go to church so I guess I am not too bothered about his religion. Him being not the same Indian as me may seem like a small thing but my family is a bit conservative and care about marrying into the same culture. I also feel like in the back of my mind I would wish he was the same Indian as me cos that is my ideal type.
It is just a bit messy coz we have been on and off and he really likes me and I feel I have been leading him on because I don't know what I want. I feel like if I met another guy like him but he was the same Indian as I am I would want to be with him instead maybe idk. But I don't know if it is worth leaving him for the possibility of finding someone better coz what if he's the one for me?
We are both 20 and he's my coursemate at uni btw
It is just a bit messy coz we have been on and off and he really likes me and I feel I have been leading him on because I don't know what I want. I feel like if I met another guy like him but he was the same Indian as I am I would want to be with him instead maybe idk. But I don't know if it is worth leaving him for the possibility of finding someone better coz what if he's the one for me?
We are both 20 and he's my coursemate at uni btw
one thing that i have been slapped in the face, punched in the stomach, and pulled by the hair (im being very metaphorical rn pls dont take me seriously lol) by is: if you are questioning it, LET IT GO. for me anyway, and i think for a lot of people, when a relationship is right you can feel it. you are completely sure that this is the person you want to be with and there's no questions or complications or hesitance or whatever. the fact that you don't know what you want is a huuuuge indicator that this situationship needs to 🚮. every situationship i've been in has ended so messily, because i felt like i was leading them on since i liked them- but it wasnt consistent and i kept changing my mind and questioning whether i even wanted a relationship.
you have an ideal type, which is good a lot of the time since you know what you want (of course there is no harm in keeping your options open though, because you never know who could come your way)- but it sounds to me that you don't fully like this guy enough to start anything with him. if he was the one for you, i think that you wouldn't be in this situation right now, and so i think that the best thing is for yall to stay friends probably- because leading this situationship along isn't going to end well for either of you. there are a lot of factors to consider before getting into a relationship, and if you can't see yourself talking through things, and successfully being in a relationship then i'd avoid it. hope that helps : )
you have an ideal type, which is good a lot of the time since you know what you want (of course there is no harm in keeping your options open though, because you never know who could come your way)- but it sounds to me that you don't fully like this guy enough to start anything with him. if he was the one for you, i think that you wouldn't be in this situation right now, and so i think that the best thing is for yall to stay friends probably- because leading this situationship along isn't going to end well for either of you. there are a lot of factors to consider before getting into a relationship, and if you can't see yourself talking through things, and successfully being in a relationship then i'd avoid it. hope that helps : )
(edited 12 months ago)
Reply 2
When it comes to relationships, it's important to assess what truly matters to you in the long term. While cultural and religious differences can pose challenges, they don't necessarily have to be deal-breakers if you and he are open-minded and respectful of each other's backgrounds.
If you're considering whether to continue the relationship or explore other options, it might be helpful to delve deeper into your feelings. Reflect on what draws you to him beyond cultural and religious factors. Do you share common interests, values, and goals for the future? Are you able to communicate openly and honestly with each other?
Also, if you believe in concepts like reincarnation, you could explore whether there are signs indicating a deeper connection between you and this guy from past lives. Signs like experiencing deja vu when together or you have matching birthmarks or scars. Other signs are described here if you're interested.
Ultimately, only you can decide what's best for you. Take the time to listen to your intuition and communicate openly with your partner.
If you're considering whether to continue the relationship or explore other options, it might be helpful to delve deeper into your feelings. Reflect on what draws you to him beyond cultural and religious factors. Do you share common interests, values, and goals for the future? Are you able to communicate openly and honestly with each other?
Also, if you believe in concepts like reincarnation, you could explore whether there are signs indicating a deeper connection between you and this guy from past lives. Signs like experiencing deja vu when together or you have matching birthmarks or scars. Other signs are described here if you're interested.
Ultimately, only you can decide what's best for you. Take the time to listen to your intuition and communicate openly with your partner.
(edited 12 months ago)
Reply 3
If you are overthinking it already in the beginning, it’s not a good sign. Plus, you cannot expect/want him to be different (or wish for him to be different) so that things wouldn’t be as complicated…maybe have a chat with your parents if they really are conservative about it?? I don’t know how your parents would react to it but they definitely want the best for their daughter. Maybe having a chat with them can solve your anxiety about this situationship??
Reply 4
If you’re not sure then I think it might be best to let it go, it sounds like he’s perfect apart from one thing, a thing he can’t change, so if someone came a long and was completely perfect, you’d go for that person, if the one thing is bothering you so much, let it go
Reply 5
Original post by lilly40
So I am in a situationship with this guy who I do like except he's not from the same place in India as I am and he's not Catholic like me (he's not religious). He said he would be willing to convert (he doesn't have to for me) and that he would go to church so I guess I am not too bothered about his religion. Him being not the same Indian as me may seem like a small thing but my family is a bit conservative and care about marrying into the same culture. I also feel like in the back of my mind I would wish he was the same Indian as me cos that is my ideal type.
It is just a bit messy coz we have been on and off and he really likes me and I feel I have been leading him on because I don't know what I want. I feel like if I met another guy like him but he was the same Indian as I am I would want to be with him instead maybe idk. But I don't know if it is worth leaving him for the possibility of finding someone better coz what if he's the one for me?
We are both 20 and he's my coursemate at uni btw
It is just a bit messy coz we have been on and off and he really likes me and I feel I have been leading him on because I don't know what I want. I feel like if I met another guy like him but he was the same Indian as I am I would want to be with him instead maybe idk. But I don't know if it is worth leaving him for the possibility of finding someone better coz what if he's the one for me?
We are both 20 and he's my coursemate at uni btw
Not trying to sound judgemental but you’ve basically just said “if he was a (slightly) different race I’d like him more”, you clearly don’t love this man. Let him go, again not trying to be disrespectful but he deserves someone who will love him not matter where he is from
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