The Student Room Group

Lonely for past 7 years

I m international student in London. I have done my undergrad here too.
I had no frnds during my undergrad but never really felt the need that time. Now I'm doing masters and loneliness is effecting my studies too. If I stay in my room I can't study and if I go to library I can focus a bit but when I see people around like everyone has got frnds. People have lunch together with their friends and are laughing together and then there's me just talking to myself.
Original post by Anonymous
I m international student in London. I have done my undergrad here too.
I had no frnds during my undergrad but never really felt the need that time. Now I'm doing masters and loneliness is effecting my studies too. If I stay in my room I can't study and if I go to library I can focus a bit but when I see people around like everyone has got frnds. People have lunch together with their friends and are laughing together and then there's me just talking to myself.

Hi,

I'm sorry this is the case and understand how hard this must be for you.

Here is some things that could help you make those connections you are looking for:

Have you tried societies? Societies/clubs are in place for situations like your own, they are there so you can talk to other students and make those connections and friendships. Have a look into what your University offers and hopefully this should be a great start.

Try exploring the social spaces within your university, such as your Student Union. The student union will most likely hold events here and there which will be there to help with making friends.

Have you tried connecting with the people in your class? I can understand this one can be tricky in class if there isn't much chance for interactions as I know some people may just go home after class but if you could catch someone either before or after class and ask if they would want to study together at the library then this could be a great stepping stone.


I hope this helps and good luck! If you have any more questions always feel free to ask.

Kind regards,
Katie (Graduate)
University of Wolverhampton
Original post by Anonymous
I m international student in London. I have done my undergrad here too.
I had no frnds during my undergrad but never really felt the need that time. Now I'm doing masters and loneliness is effecting my studies too. If I stay in my room I can't study and if I go to library I can focus a bit but when I see people around like everyone has got frnds. People have lunch together with their friends and are laughing together and then there's me just talking to myself.

Hi there,

This sounds like a tough situation.

I would also say that societies are a great way of making friends and meeting new people so you might enjoy joining one of these. It's worth having a look at what societies your university offers and see if there is any that you might be interested in. Societies are great because you already have a shared interest with people there so you know you have something in common which might help you to make friends. It's also great to just get out of the house for a bit rather than being stuck in working.

I would also say to just ask people if they want to do things with you. The worst they can say is no so I would ask people that you have spoke to on your course if they want to go for lunch with you, or study together etc. Start by talking to people in class and then see if they want to do something with you!

I would also see if there are any Facebook groups for your university and see if you can meet anybody this way. Usually there are groups for different universities and within that there will probably be groups for your course etc so it might be worth looking here to see if you can meet anyone.

Also, going to events that your student union puts on might be a good idea as there will be lots of students there that likely are wanting to make some friends!

I would keep trying with people as I'm sure you just haven't found your people yet!

I hope this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I m international student in London. I have done my undergrad here too.
I had no frnds during my undergrad but never really felt the need that time. Now I'm doing masters and loneliness is effecting my studies too. If I stay in my room I can't study and if I go to library I can focus a bit but when I see people around like everyone has got frnds. People have lunch together with their friends and are laughing together and then there's me just talking to myself.
Hey!

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling lonely and that it's affecting your studies. Can I ask if you have reached out to your uni's mental health and wellbeing team and/or academic support services? Are you in regular contact with friends and family outside of uni as well? It might help if you make plans with them and have something to look forward to, and motivate you to get the work done.

I find making friends extremely difficult, and I did when I was a uni student too. I just focused on my studies rather than immersing myself in student life. Like others have suggested below, have you thought about joining a club or society? Is there any specifically for postgrad students? Or any events specifically for pg students to make friends?

Small talk can be so difficult, but if you could try compliment someone on your course, ask them a question about the work, maybe even what their fave tv show is for example? I know I find it easier when I talk about something I love, such as tv shows and books, I can talk for hours then haha and feel more confident in myself. Or perhaps you could add your coursemates on social media and start small by replying to one of their Stories. If they interact back online you could then ask if they want to go revise together in the library, if that happens you could then suggest going to grab a coffee or go on a walk after 🙂

I know it can be daunting to make friends, so I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your postgrad journey and hope you meet some wonderful people! Good luck.

Becky
hey i’m year if you’d like to talk, dm
i felt the same at my sixth form/college
i’m starting uni this yr i’m a 20yo

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