The Student Room Group

guy won't respond but is on social media

So, i met this guy at uni and we get along really well, share things in common, and have almost identical school experiences etc. we even hung out a couple of times. i did develop some feelings for him but ofc never told him. we get the train together too as we live close, so both commuters.

now my uni has finished and he hasn't showed up for the second half of the second semester at all. i message him a couple of times to confirm train journeys and make sure everything is ok. he came back saying sorry for late replies and that he is going through something at the moment. i accepted it- ok thats fine, i said i would help him if he needs it and he said thanks and all. he asked me how my week was then i told him and asked it back. (now looking back that was a dumb move of me- i was legit just told he is going through something personal and now i'm asking him), so i got left on delivered.
3 weeks pass- its now the end of uni and he never showed up again. i sent him a text on saturday saying yknow hope he is ok, been missing our train rituals and if he would like to meetup at some point. that night i sent it, he left me on delivered again.
few days pass- he still hasnt responded, i go on insta and see he has posted on his story- he is out in the city with his dad (most likely) and he looks fine. like probs me being a bit judgy and stuff but he looks fine to me.

i talked to my friend about it and they said that he is probs going through a rough patch and feels awkward. i mean this guy is the introverted shy type who doesnt talk a lot. But its kinda confusing coz i have done nothing to him, nothing bad at all and he hasnt heard anything about me so idk why he is acting like this. i talked to my friend and they said its a bit bizarre why he is acting like this and someone cannot have a change of heart so its nothing personal. I KNOW for a FACT i have done nothing and am 99.99999% sure its nothing personal against me. it is probably a him thing and going through something but idk why it seems weird all of a sudden. left on good terms and everything. i believe my friend is right but idk i am just confused.

i am just one big- huh? rn ://// idk what to do

Reply 1

Hey, I think your friend is right - he's probably going through his own stuff and doesn't want to talk about it or share it with you at this moment of time. Guys generally don't share their emotions openly as girls do - probably to do with toxic masculinity culture in modern society. Let your friend heal and if he wants to he will get back to you - he's left you on delivered for personal reasons. Don't keep texting him - you'll lose your own self respect. Give him some space. If he wants to get back to you he will. If he doesn't want to get back in touch with you he won't make the effort.

You've been a really good friend, asking him how he is etc. Sometimes, when people go through hard stuff they want to heal in their own way and may want to move away from friends too in that process so be aware of that. I think it's better for you to do your own thing and make other friends in the mean time. I'm sure you'll make other good friends! And I'm sorry that you had to suddenly come to terms with such a massive change. I know it's not easy dealing with the fact your guy friend is not around at university anymore and all the routine stuff you used to do together have all gone. But yeah don't overthink it - he will contact you if he wants to. Best to let it go and do the things that make you happy.

Reply 2

Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I think your friend is right - he's probably going through his own stuff and doesn't want to talk about it or share it with you at this moment of time. Guys generally don't share their emotions openly as girls do - probably to do with toxic masculinity culture in modern society. Let your friend heal and if he wants to he will get back to you - he's left you on delivered for personal reasons. Don't keep texting him - you'll lose your own self respect. Give him some space. If he wants to get back to you he will. If he doesn't want to get back in touch with you he won't make the effort.
You've been a really good friend, asking him how he is etc. Sometimes, when people go through hard stuff they want to heal in their own way and may want to move away from friends too in that process so be aware of that. I think it's better for you to do your own thing and make other friends in the mean time. I'm sure you'll make other good friends! And I'm sorry that you had to suddenly come to terms with such a massive change. I know it's not easy dealing with the fact your guy friend is not around at university anymore and all the routine stuff you used to do together have all gone. But yeah don't overthink it - he will contact you if he wants to. Best to let it go and do the things that make you happy.

thanks 🙂 that helped a lot!! i'll try stop the overthinking and getting sensitive hahah ❤️

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