Any tactics for forgiveness as BPD?
Hi guys. I have been diagnosed with Borderline PD about a year ago (I'm 21) and I never really undergone any therapy (yet). At this point I don't really have time although one day I am planning to do so - hopefully this year. I've been self-aware even before my diagnosis, and I am able to suppress and control most of the symptoms. It is hard and it's a pain to live with such condition but one symptom, one of the most common ones, I just can't shake it off and I need some tactic to deal with it. I have a problem with forgiving. If someone does something that I find emotionally unbearable, even if it's a small thing, I just have a hard time because if feels like an attack. And usually I am aware it's not and my emotions are just playing me. Do you have any advice on how should I approach this? Just to be clear, deep breaths is a bad advice 
Reply 1
Original post by MissTeee
Sorry to hear you’re struggling, BDP is the gift that keeps on giving…
This isn’t a direct answer to your question, but having experienced it with a partner’s daughter I wanted to suggest Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
It really helped her. There was a long wait but it helped a lot with eg splitting black. It has been found to be more effective than CBT.
The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook by McKay, Wood and Brantley is a brilliance resource for helping with emotional regulation and distress tolerance. You can get a used copy for about a fiver.
x
This isn’t a direct answer to your question, but having experienced it with a partner’s daughter I wanted to suggest Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
It really helped her. There was a long wait but it helped a lot with eg splitting black. It has been found to be more effective than CBT.
The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook by McKay, Wood and Brantley is a brilliance resource for helping with emotional regulation and distress tolerance. You can get a used copy for about a fiver.
x
Thank you. I am planning on some form of therapy, so I'll take DBT maybe to see if it'll help. Thanks in advance.
Reply 2
Original post by anonymous
Hi guys. I have been diagnosed with Borderline PD about a year ago (I'm 21) and I never really undergone any therapy (yet). At this point I don't really have time although one day I am planning to do so - hopefully this year. I've been self-aware even before my diagnosis, and I am able to suppress and control most of the symptoms. It is hard and it's a pain to live with such condition but one symptom, one of the most common ones, I just can't shake it off and I need some tactic to deal with it. I have a problem with forgiving. If someone does something that I find emotionally unbearable, even if it's a small thing, I just have a hard time because if feels like an attack. And usually I am aware it's not and my emotions are just playing me. Do you have any advice on how should I approach this? Just to be clear, deep breaths is a bad advice
Things like mindfulness can be really helpful in situations like this. Marsha Linehan (the creator of DBT) wrote about a concept called Wise Mind, which brings together your emotional mind (charged, impulsive) and rational mind (cool, logical). People who struggle with regulating their emotions, such as those with BPD, often react to situations in emotional mind, which can damage relationships and bring on feelings of shame and guilt afterwards. Pausing, taking a step back and asking yourself whether you're in Wise Mind when feeling triggered can prevent you from acting impulsively and help you deal with heightened emotions.
There's so much info online aout DBT and the skills you can learn, you may as well start looking at it now as you never know how long you could be waiting for therapy.
(edited 11 months ago)
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