The Student Room Group

Heartbroken

I’ve been seeing this lad for about 8 months now and coming up to three months ago he said he can’t do a relationship now, which honestly broke my heart because in November and December he said he was going to make me his girlfriend soon and that he ‘was never gonna leave me’ and even gave me a kiss on the cheek after he said that when we were in bed together. He’s the first boy who I’ve ever trusted and who I’ve liked this much. I wasn’t even looking for a relationship but he showed me so much interest and we got on so well so I was like you know what I’ll see where it goes. And I know I should have left him when he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship but I didn’t because my friends said he might come round to it. For the first month, he was basically like normal, like what we were before he told me. Just stopped saving my snaps in chat and liking my stories… we said morning every day. Until about two weeks ago. He totally stopped. Like two days before he was the one who kept saying morning. I confronted him a week ago, and he said he’s lost feelings which is totally understandable but he never told me and gave me a false sense of hope as about a month ago he told me we would see eachother again and then he said ‘like you said, we don’t speak, and I don’t think we will see eachother again’ that literally BROKE me. I burst into tears. Tbh, we sort of ended things in early March but we started speaking again and became normal a few days later. And I also brought up to him the other day how he made me feel and he was giving me **** replies, I can see when he’s active and he was active all the time. And yesterday I sent him a snap and he left me on delivered for 14 hours whilst he was active for ages. I just want him back. I think the reason I’ve stayed around for so long is because I really believe that me and him will become something? Or that I genuinely like I genuinely can’t let go of him. I really can’t. There’s something there where I can’t just let him go. Like people say you need to but I just don’t have it in me. Please someone say something!
Reply 1
You say he didn't tell you he lost feelings, but he did, 3 months ago, when he said he didn't want a relationship! Though tbh, if after 4 months he still couldn't decide if he wanted you as a girlfriend the writing was on the wall.

You sound quite young; is this your first relationship? Because what you've done is have a conversation with your friends, and not with him on how to navigate the break-up; you've both let things drift and assumed the other was OK with it, and you've taken that as a positive sign. He can leave you on delivered, because you aren't a priority to him anymore. Time to let him go and break off communication so there's no confusion.
Reply 2
Plenty of fish in the sea i guess. But in my opinion talk to a friend about it or just talk to him about it and accept the breakup thats the only way to deal with it.
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve been seeing this lad for about 8 months now and coming up to three months ago he said he can’t do a relationship now, which honestly broke my heart because in November and December he said he was going to make me his girlfriend soon and that he ‘was never gonna leave me’ and even gave me a kiss on the cheek after he said that when we were in bed together. He’s the first boy who I’ve ever trusted and who I’ve liked this much. I wasn’t even looking for a relationship but he showed me so much interest and we got on so well so I was like you know what I’ll see where it goes. And I know I should have left him when he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship but I didn’t because my friends said he might come round to it. For the first month, he was basically like normal, like what we were before he told me. Just stopped saving my snaps in chat and liking my stories… we said morning every day. Until about two weeks ago. He totally stopped. Like two days before he was the one who kept saying morning. I confronted him a week ago, and he said he’s lost feelings which is totally understandable but he never told me and gave me a false sense of hope as about a month ago he told me we would see eachother again and then he said ‘like you said, we don’t speak, and I don’t think we will see eachother again’ that literally BROKE me. I burst into tears. Tbh, we sort of ended things in early March but we started speaking again and became normal a few days later. And I also brought up to him the other day how he made me feel and he was giving me **** replies, I can see when he’s active and he was active all the time. And yesterday I sent him a snap and he left me on delivered for 14 hours whilst he was active for ages. I just want him back. I think the reason I’ve stayed around for so long is because I really believe that me and him will become something? Or that I genuinely like I genuinely can’t let go of him. I really can’t. There’s something there where I can’t just let him go. Like people say you need to but I just don’t have it in me. Please someone say something!

Is it him that you miss or was it the attention he gave you? That should help you get over him!
Reply 4
Original post by Surnia
You say he didn't tell you he lost feelings, but he did, 3 months ago, when he said he didn't want a relationship! Though tbh, if after 4 months he still couldn't decide if he wanted you as a girlfriend the writing was on the wall.
You sound quite young; is this your first relationship? Because what you've done is have a conversation with your friends, and not with him on how to navigate the break-up; you've both let things drift and assumed the other was OK with it, and you've taken that as a positive sign. He can leave you on delivered, because you aren't a priority to him anymore. Time to let him go and break off communication so there's no confusion.


He said he still liked me and wanted to keep seeing me still so he didn’t tell me.
Yeah I am, I’m 19 and it is. I have spoken up him many times about it but idk I know he hates it when I message him about him. The other day I said to him I think it’s clear you are speaking to someone else so I think it’s best we stop snapping/speaking to eachother and he said to me you’re just assuming things, where has this come from again so I told him that I just want to be told the truth and then I said if there is someone else that’s when I’ll leave and he said ‘good job there isn’t then’ but Idk how to take that, because is that sarcastic?
Reply 5
Original post by Surnia
You say he didn't tell you he lost feelings, but he did, 3 months ago, when he said he didn't want a relationship! Though tbh, if after 4 months he still couldn't decide if he wanted you as a girlfriend the writing was on the wall.
You sound quite young; is this your first relationship? Because what you've done is have a conversation with your friends, and not with him on how to navigate the break-up; you've both let things drift and assumed the other was OK with it, and you've taken that as a positive sign. He can leave you on delivered, because you aren't a priority to him anymore. Time to let him go and break off communication so there's no confusion.


I am assuming things, because I check his socials all the time like, there's not a day that goes by where I don't check his Snapchat score if you know what that is, see how many people he is snapping when he's ignoring me or even when he snaps me back) I check who's following him and what he reposts on tik tok, it really gets me down and I know I need to stop but I just can't let go of him :frown: it's completely ruined me. I don't have it in me. He’s giving me **** replies too and when I see he’s replied to other people rather than me, my heart just drops. I'm not sure if he is speaking to someone else but i don't know. I miss him and i know ill never get him back but when i let go of him, ill loose him completely
Reply 6
Original post by Xeferity
Plenty of fish in the sea i guess. But in my opinion talk to a friend about it or just talk to him about it and accept the breakup thats the only way to deal with it.


I have talked to a friend and him but they all tell me the same thing but I just can’t let go of him. I’ve been through a lot of trauma in my past so maybe I can’t let go of him because of that. When he messages me I feel on top of the world. But when he doesn’t answer for hours on end, it puts me in such a bad mood. I know I need to let go of him, but I can’t, there’s something there that’s telling me I can’t.
Reply 7
Original post by mrbutlerchapman
Is it him that you miss or was it the attention he gave you? That should help you get over him!


Both maybe 🙈 I miss him so much, we got on so so well that’s why I’m upset as to why he didn’t want a relationship. Like I miss everything about him but I also miss the attention but when I get attention of other lads, I don’t really like it. I just want it to be him 😢

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