i honestly think you're doing a pretty good job of dealing with this. as someone who really, really liked a guy whose parents weren't that bothered about dating whilst my parents are very bothered about me having a boyfriend, i understand from both your pov and your kind-of-boyfriend's pov. it was a little different for me since i'm a girl, but as someone who can relate to having strict parents, the only thing you can really do is: a) hope they change their minds, and b) wait until you're old enough to be independent and make your own decisions without feeling guilty. it's not his fault for not being able to be with you, and as much as he may want to rebel from his parents- its hard. especially when in some households parental opinions can hold such a huge influence on your life. for example, my parents brought me up to think that if i didn't do good in school i couldn't be good at anything. lower than the top = failure. being less than perfect = failure. that plus other stuff set me up for a lot of mental issues down the road, and now my parents don't give a heck about what i get in my grades- just that i'm proud of my effort. but their words and everything they've done has been so engraved in my brain that no matter how many times they or someone else tells me i don't have to be perfect to succeed, i literally cannot believe them. it seems like an over the top explanation, but what i'm trying to say is- strict parents have INFLUENCE. and it's scary to disobey them or go against them, just look at how your bf had to delete all his socials etc. (i've been forced to do that too 💀).
i understand that it's frustrating for you to be feeling like you're on the sidelines waiting for him to catch up to you- but you've got to understand that there's not much you can do. i think the effort you put in to maintain this relationship says a lot about your feelings for each other, and i admire that from you. you've said countless times that you understand what he's going through at the moment, and i bet you he appreciates that way more than you think. the only thing you can offer him now is patience. yes, it's frustrating, yes, it's annoying, yes, you feel constricted since you can't be openly happy in your relationship but you've just got to let it run it's course. maybe just let him know what you're feeling. not in an accusatory way- but in a way that's like "i've been feeling this way, and i just want to let you know so you're aware." maybe after your bf hears that, he'll try and make more effort to see you and make sure you're doing okay. i'm honestly rooting for you and i hope everything goes well- sending hugs 🫂